post a social mistake you're perseverating on

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I got invited to a small gathering for someone's birthday. I went because I genuinely like the person even though the idea of being stuck in a room with a group of people I didn't know made me wonder if I should have come up with an excuse not to go.

I declined alcohol. I was asked several times if I wanted a drink. Kept saying no. Then they all decided to put on fake tattoos. Again, I said no. This led to one of the girls declaring that I was no fun. She didn't seriously think poorly of me, but I didn't know that and took her seriously.

I shut up and spent the entire party afraid that everyone thought I was boring and no fun, and couldn't figure out how to connect with anyone. It didn't occur to me until later that I could have asked other people questions and tried to have a conversation rather than waiting for other people to talk to me.

In a family or friend gathering, it would be completely appropriate to send a thank you note or card to say the things you think you may have forgotten. It's an old and usually abandoned tradtion that most people still greatly appreciate. The added benefit is that many have an easier time expressing themselves better in writing. I would bring up or apologise for the things you think you said wrong - after all, unless they said something specifically, you may not be certain exactly what their reactions were and dredging it up just makes everyone uncomfortable.

Even if you are so-so in person, you can wow them by mail. Play to your strengths my friend!

I actually sent a facebook message thank you to the host afterwards and in it apologized for being awkward. I was told I just seemed quiet. I also said that I hoped I didn't seem so unfun that she wouldn't want to hang out with me again, and she said not to worry about that. So it turned out ok, but I still feel like a social reject among all of the other people whom I still don't know, even after spending a night hanging around them.

Another bad supermarket experience for me was when I took 9 items in the 7 item or less isle when a lady behind me tapped me on the shoulder scarring the hell out of me. When I turned around she had this sour face on and asked me if I knew how to count then rolled her eyes at me so I said yeah one two.
On the one and two I popped her some birds giving her two middle fingers. My brother and his girlfriend just about died laughing but some guy that was behind her told me I should be ashamed of myself. I noticed a lot of people were giving me the stink eye so I guess I was being evil and did not notice it.

My brother always compares me to Frankenstein's monster when he throws the little girl into the river.

the last time i was out for a drink with some people i'd just met and i had no money so i went to withdraw from an atm which i was told was across the street- and it was only it was 2-3 blocks down so i was out for half an hour with no explanation and they were left wondering where i was. i felt so guilty about making them wait. i wanted to applogise but i thought a thousand sorrys would annoy them and now i feel guilty about not applogising enough. then a couple of days ago i went to queer collective and i always feel so awkward when i go because i always feel like that with people and i never say anything much for the whole 2 hours because i never know if they'd mind me joining in or if i'd be interrupting. i'm terrible company and they're so nice... i don't think i'll go any more.

Meh, I really don't care. My sister looks down on me like I am some worm every time I say something. That's her problem. I do make many mistakes but it takes a lot to try to remember them and try not to make the same mistakes again. I have social mistakes amnesia right now. It's actually better than dwelling on them and getting depressed.

I will never forget this one:

When I first got married, we were back at the house my parents rented for a few days and my husband and I were opening our wedding presents. My mom's parents hand us a gift that was from my mom's sister and her husband and daughter. The ones that never go to any family reunions or any family events that happened outside their state they live in. My dad told me it was because they are cheap. So I was surprised they still got us a gift even though they didn't come so I said "they may be cheap but they weren't cheap enough to not get us a wedding present" and everyone laughed.

Now skip later to sending out thank you cards a month later I decided to share that in the card so I told her about it and said it to her. About three weeks later, I get a typed letter from her telling me she is sorry I was shocked at the gift and she couldn't believe how shocked they were when I said they were cheap but not cheap enough to not get us a wedding present. She said she was hurt by the comment and she hopes I have a happy marriage.


That was a hard lesson to learn and I learned after wards here never mention money when you write thank you cards. I also learned cheap was not what I thought it meant. Okay I grew up in a family that misuses words all the time and irony and I think most of them come from my dad. He says things like "cheap" and "dump" and I am sure there are many others I don't even know about. Even my own mother has said she is cheap because she shops in clearances and buys whats on sale and uses time share and stays at inexpensive hotels. I got told here she was using irony and I took it all literal.

I have been wondering lately if my mom was covering my ass when she asked me back at my wedding after I said that "And who taught you to say that Beth?" and I remember everyone looked at him and dad was denying he ever said it. I missed out on all that so now I am wondering if everyone was looking at him because he said the wrong thing to me and I picked it up and said it too. If they came to the wedding, I probably would have said to them "Wow you weren't cheap this time to not come" and I wonder if they still would have been offended by that comment?

Well, I was in class the other day and my professor started talking about aggression in girls and how it's getting more common for them to physically fight each other.

He then mentions some videos on YouTube in which a whole bunch of girls beat up on one victim at the same time.

He says, "What was that?" and I say, "Could that have been a gang initiation?" Well, when he asked, "What was that?", he was actually referring to the police sirens that everyone else but me heard outside. So it looked like I said that the police sirens had to do with a "gang initiation".

No wonder these folks think I'm crazy.

You wouldn't believe how often it takes me a long time to notice the "newest thing/object/idea" the speaker is referring to, so I'm often responding to something they were referring to 1 or 2 ideas/things/objects ago in the past. That could also be a part of why people think I'm crazy (Though, I'll admit I'm a bit tangential. ).