How do you get rid of people?

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I'm pleased to report that, in the right environment, I've found I can simply say what's going on in a nice way and successfully deflect both physical contact and conversation. I guess it's just further evidence that I've fallen in with the right crowd. (On Saturday, I went to a local SCA event for the first time since becoming quite so aware of my sensory issues, which I had previously spent my life suppressing and denying. My day also had started with the shock of going into the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower, only to discover that our house guest had recently been in there putting on perfume. It was a rough morning, so it's no wonder I was quickly overloaded that day.)

That's not really a solution for getting rid of them, as they would still be around, and the smell would fill the whole house.

Me too

You can always just do what the NTs do and flip an ear dildo (cellphone) in other people's faces. It is an all too common form of social rejection. There was even a report on NBC news a few months back about this that said that 15% of all cellphone calls were designed to snub people in order to avoid having to interact with them. It really does make me wonder just how NT these NTs actually are if they are carrying out this form of avoidant behavior. I don't carry one of those blasted things myself and try to spend my time in public interacting with people since that is one of my greatest shortcomings.

Each Saturday I go to a large nearby college to walk across campus for the exercise. I also do this to force myself to interact with people who do not know me (think of it as a free form of therapy). It is amazing how effective it is… it improves my mood and actually makes me more outgoing while conditioning me so that I am less susceptible to the people who know me (well, nobody REALLY knows me) around my apartment complex so that they are less able to get under my skin. Occasionally I am also surprised at a few rare people who even act like they want to be friendly to me. Lately I've struck up a friendship with a parking garage attendant there from Guiana and stop to chat with him for a while before I start my walk (Saturday we chatted for 45 minutes before I felt the need to move on).

Anyhow, getting back to the original cellphone issue, I can usually judge the attitude of people by the percentage of people I pass who are hiding beneath an ear dildo. Last Saturday it was astounding... perhaps 85-90% of the people had one of those things shoved up their ear. Usually it is more like 15-20% of the people and on those days I find that I can actually find people who are halfway friendly along the way.

One more humorous thought… people are contrarians. They will go out of their way to fault other people and make you feel like everything you do is wrong. Perhaps I encounter this partially because I am gay or perhaps it is just a part of the power and domination games that too many people play (King of the Hill type of thing). If you happen to find that this is also the case with you (people being contrary, not you being gay) then try being friendly to a person you want to get rid of… they will turn and run in the other direction at warp speed.

^ You're exactly right! Today when I had to call my daughter to ask her something while I was out, I did it just to make everybody around me feel bad and me look so important! </sarcasm>

If you really want to get rid of people, just simply say, "Let me tell you how Jesus has really changed my life....." Trust me, they'll flee!!

How do I get rid of people?

I turn from "friendly" to "civil". When they eventually get around to asking why, I tell them. Then they stay away from me - out of embarrassment, guilt, or anger, it doesn't matter to me, since they are gone.

It's a little trick I learned from the NTs.

That wouldn't work for where I live. Living in the belt buckle of the Bible Belt really sucks. A statement like that would just encourage the bastards to think we've just become blood brothers/sisters or something.

Then tell them about all the pain and misery in your life, and ask them to pray for you every time you see them. That usually drives away even the most die-hard evangelical.

Don't let this happen to you though:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka9mfZbTFbk[/youtube]

Ever considered telling them how Bacchus has really changed your life?

I have always wanted to give a smart-aleck comment back when a customer has said, "Jesus loves you," as a parting goodbye, but I've never had the nerve. Maybe something like, "...and may the Devil have his eye on you, as well." This reminds me of the lines people said to each other in The Handmaid's Tale, which I read fairly recently.

I had several more ideas that actually kept me awake for several hours last night thinking about them. The first two of them are related to my previous comment quoted above, but all of them involve the display of what many people consider to be socially unacceptable behavior.

1) Assuming that you are not gay and that the person you are trying to get rid of is also not gay and that it is not a situation that will come back to bite you, try displaying a gay interest in the person you are trying to get rid of… and be persistent about it as Aspies know too well how to do. You do not need to get physically forward, but try something like staring at their crotch repeatedly. Just use your imagination. As homophobic as most people are, they will run away in terror.

2) I see that you are close to my age so this would not apply. But for those males who are younger and in a situation in which there are communal showers (like dorms), try allowing yourself to get erect either in the shower or clothed in the presence of those you want to get rid of. This happened to me several times during my younger days, but I always did the wrong thing to try to get things under control. I would think about my uncle, who was sexually unappealing to me and it would usually help to begin the wilting process. These days I wish I had known enough back then to encourage it in order to show an interest in and meet other guys.

3) Abstain from sex for a while and walk around in high gear all day long. That will help to chase away more people than most things you can think of.

4) Allow meltdowns to happen in public and/or the presence of those whom you want to get rid of.

5) Pull at your crotch repeatedly in the presence of the person you want to get rid of.

6) Pull at your butt repeatedly in the presence of the person you want to get rid of. I used to do this for comfort in the 6th grade (Tampa, where it was hot and sticky in September) and my teacher, who was a 60 something year old friend of my grandparents used to look at me sternly and shake her head "no".

7) Pick your nose in the presence of the person you want to get rid of. This is my personal favorite and if I find a person to be offensive or unappealing, I will intentionally pick my nose in front of them in an exaggerated manner to convey the message that they remind me of something unpleasant up my nose that needs to be removed and discarded.

8) Invade the personal space of the person you want to get rid of. Stand too close when you talk to them. Wave your hands in their face with gestures as you talk (not an Aspie strong point, I know). This works especially well if they have no sexual need but you do (related to item 1). In my college days my cousin used to stand right in my face as we talked (he is half blind) and it always made me feel very uncomfortable. In my workplace one time, I had to deal with a management representative who was very agitated, while I was ultra relaxed one day and as he talked, he kept waving his hands to within a few inches of my face. I really wanted to smash him in the face and then walk away, but I couldn't. Try reaching out and touching the person's body without being invited to do so.

9) Manufacture lies and rumors about people that are in total opposition to the truth. This is what people always do to me and few things will trigger my meltdowns more than this. When I am in need, they say to each other that I have no need. When I want a guy, they say to each other that I want a woman. When I am happy, they will say to each other that I am POd. Always within earshot of me. It doesn't need to be sexual in nature. Just manufacture lies behind the person's back that make them feel as if their best efforts to represent themselves and their views have produced the exact opposite impression.

Use your imagination and make a pest of yourself. People will steer clear of you.

I actually watched something like that happen in Madison WI - It was when Barack Obama came to town. Sad. Very sad.

Um, TTRSage, the idea is to get people to leave you alone, not jeopardize your own safety by doing the kinds of things that might put you at risk of physical violence. Please understand this comment as an expression of my genuine concern for you. I've been out since age 15 (close to 30 years, now), and maybe I'm just hyper aware of what can happen. Maybe I'm also missing that you meant to be humorous. Sometimes I'm a little too serious, so if I've misunderstood you, I apologize. I'm just trying to look out for you.

NicoleG, you could try responding with, "And Hathor loves you!" (Bearing in mind your circumstances, given what I've just said above.)

MTE.