How do you deal with liars?

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how embarrasing. I meant that I'm NT, not that you are. Now I see how I wrote that wrong so I'll edit my post for clarity

No, honesty isn't a problem at all, I welcome honest opinions because that's what a conversation is supposed to be. When others make an incorrect observation/assumption about me, I correct them with the fact that they don't know me and that their assumption is incorrect, which is what people should do (in my opinion) because that's an honest conversation, there's no bs or lies in the middle of it, only the truth.

When I catch someone lying, I tend to publicly "out" them. The most embarrassing outing I have given was when I attended university. I was in a history class with a student who claimed to have been in the Armed Forces (Marines). This kid couldn't have weighed over 120lbs if he were soaked head to toe in tar and he sure didn't have the "military muscle" (soldiers have a specific physique from training that is as obvious as a naked clown in a church). I asked him in front of the class where he was stationed, where he was deployed (claimed to be a veteran), and what unit he was in. Of course, he tried to BS his way through the questions and gave me some random number off the top of his head. I looked at his uniform and noted that his pants weren't tucked into his boots, something anyone in the military would have known was a foux pas. Needless to say, the kid ended up dropping out of school.

I just call them out.

It is not easy for me to deal with. And it depends whats at stake. When a lot is at stake lying can be very stressful. The more third world you go the more people take and fewer build. Saving face becomes much more socially accepted as normal and being truthful looked on as as a bad thing.

When I catch someone in a lie, I tend to just avoid them from that point on. I also advise all trusted acquaintances to avoid said person. I only do this for big lies.

I don't see where anyone has asked this yet, but I have to ask...

Is it possible he really thinks you did take whatever it is?

Telling an untruth is not a lie if you believe it to be true. A lie is an intentional deceit. People make mistakes all of the time. I am involved in investigations of workplace issues sometimes and the truth is, sometimes both people think they are telling the facts. Even though one of them is and one of them isn't; I can't bust either of them, because they are both acting "in good faith."

Granted, it stings when someone accuses you of something you find morally abhorrent. But sometimes they have valid reasons for believing what they believe, even when they end up being wrong.

I was not looking for philosophy. I literally meant what I asked: How can something be determined to be obvious to everyone just because someone thinks it is obvious.



Pragmatically, I realize people lie. Realistically, I don't think about it when interacting with people, and when I do I find it difficult to determine whether someone is lying or not. Awareness of the possibility adds to the confusion. I can learn over time with individuals, and I know that certain kinds of phrases are codes for other things, but this doesn't mean that lies are obvious unless they're truly outrageous (such as one woman I knew who claimed to fly and land an F-14 Tomcat off an aircraft carrier at 14).

I know what harassment is. I've been on the receiving end of it more than once.

I do not see why social obliviousness greater than yours means that something other than autism or AS is going on, because autism and AS both include such social impairments as possible symptoms.



This has nothing to do with what I asked, which is about how you can possibly know that something being obvious to you must necessarily be obvious to everyone.

How is truth in context? I think that changes the definition of the word truth. Or, you need to tell what word I should use to mean stuff that is true no matter who knows it or doesn't believe it. Because if the word "truth" is now up for debate, we need a replacement. Fast.

And who expects you to lie? Who are these people?

have you read the discussion after that post?

i think it explains what i mean,
truth in this case has nothing to do with the truth value of the lie, in this case the truth referred to is whether lying is wrong or not and the only way to judge that is to look at the context of the lie,
lying to protect someones identity form an abusive husband is far from wrong, whereas lying about where the murderer hid the body is.

The fact is lieing is a fundamental right.

If asked inappropiate questions you have to lie there is no way around it.

If someone asks you how's your credit score, etc, when it's none of their business you cannot simply say I choose not to answer.

If you were thinking speech is logical, and people had perfect memories and never had miscommunications than yes lieing would be wrong.

But in the adult world lies are necessary. For one you cannot refuse to answer a question, as someone having nothing to loose will always answer. It's basic game theory, quite logical when you think about it. There for a refusal to answer can logically be assumed to imply guilt.

That's ignoring the issue of communication, where logical explanations are too lengthy, and short lies are far more beneficial.
I.E. sorry for not going to your party, I had to work late.
It's much preferable, to I had an anxiety attack, had to have emergency counselling session, masturbated after my session to relieve stress, so I had to have a shower, and couldn't turn the clothes washer on while in the shower so I couldn't get dressed in time to make the bus, and didn't wanna walk over in the dark.

The best lies are "I never lie" and "why would I lie to you?".

I usually don't say anything to liars, but the trust I have in them usually drops to like, -100%.

Lol 100 percent agreed, however the commonness of liars, especially ones that lie about details, means it's so much easier to seperate a bad person from a good person, insecure with narcissistic, obsessive with passive etc.

Always pay special attention to people, who's lies you haven't caught.

This discussion could never yield a new idea for anyone. As long as you take the stance of "everything is everything else" it's quite impossible to have a conversation.

You can't just call into question everyone's definition of everything all the time. It is truly a waste of everyone's time and turns what could be a beneficial exchange of ideas into grade school level playground banter.

"Thing X is bad"

"But what is bad? One persons bad is another's good. Sometimes bad means good. What if good is only good cause bad good is not bad blah blah blah blah....argument."

We have to just agree to be reasonable and speak to each other assuming we are using the widely accepted universally known definitions of things. Do we really have to illustrate the widely known concept of small white lies? Yes, hurting grandma's feelings is not ideal. Sometimes we say we like something to avoid hurting people's feelings. Is that a brand new, mind blowing concept?

If someone says something simple like "death is bad", can't we just continue discourse with the understood notion that death is usually pretty widely regarded as not good. Or do we have to bring the entire bus to a stop so someone can point out the unbelievably obvious idea of Hitler's death being a good thing?

If a certain idea needs further clarification, then lets go for it. But everything being pointed out as totally subjective and shooting down arguments as faulty because "truth" means something new and "his reality isn't her reality" and "lies aren't lies on Tuesdays after five because truth is subjective and trumpets are dragons and good is bad when reality is hamburgers......meaningless word gibberish"

WE are supposed to be the logical ones.

"You can trust me" is higher on the scale.