feeling isolated in church

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@ OP: Just remember that not every single Catholic behaves in a rude, arrogant manner. If all Catholics behaved the same way towards other Catholics, all Catholics would be behaving like robots.

Many people at my church are in cliques because they believe they are continuing the message of Christ, who many Catholics believe invented "clique culture" when He began His public ministry and asked the Disciples to join Him. That's obviously untrue because Christ says repeatedly in Scripture to be inclusive towards everyone, not a certain demographic of people.

Even though some people at my church are nice, most indulge in thinking of themselves as better than everyone else just because they are in cliques.

Isn't a church sorta like a school, in that the entrance requirement is being born? It's too much to expect to have things in common with people who only share your religion - one of the largest religious groups on earth.

A group for autistic Catholics, now, that might be useful!

I am of a different race than everyone else at my church. No one sits by me, people totally ignore me, it's like I am invisible. The nearest church with people of my race is 45 miles away, not really an option to go to. But I guess I don't really care. I go to church to hear the Word not to socialize because I am not a social person. My dad gave up going to church long before I was ever born. He didn't even come to church for my baptism. As a kid, I used to think it was because he stopped believing. After I was dx with Asperger's as an adult, I realized my dad had it too but he was deceased by that point. I realized he didn't stop believing, he just couldn't handle being around all the people at church. The cruel thing is that we were not allowed to have his funeral service at the church because he had stopped going to church. We had to have his service at the funeral home. My dad was so so misunderstood by everyone. It makes me so so sad that my dad never had anyone who understood him. I wish he could have had a group like this. Even though I don't know any of you personally, I know you all understand me, and that makes a world of difference in my life. Thank you all for being here. Even if you don't reply, I know that many will read this and understand.

Aspinaz ☺ . Pleasure to read your post.

Thanks for listening.

Unfortunately I tend to think most religious organizations are more social tribe than actual faith. For most people saying "I'm Catholic" or "I'm Evangelical" is something akin go "I'm a Patriots fan". It's kinda sorta networking to some extent but far more just a lot of people wearing the yoke of tradition and indulging the things that made them feel warm inside as kids under their parents influence.

Techstep is right. Church is a social tribe for NTs. I don't bother with it as I never fit into that mess of conformity.

I'll admit this: Just yesterday, the Catholic group at school met to pray The Rosary. I attended because I was bored and I wanted people to hang out with. {I'm currently not enrolled in classes, so that's why I went.} After we finished, some people stayed to have lunch with the priest who led people in praying The Rosary. I thought it was going to be a difficult situation while we ate, but I managed to stay calm despite not attending meetings on a regular basis. The priest and some of the attendees were very friendly while we ate lunch and I told them about this thread. An attendee said that because she's dating a Jewish guy, many people at her church have given her the cold shoulder. Another attendee said that because he doesn't attend Mass regularly due to being busy with work and school, he has been told by parishioners at his church that he would get kicked out if he doesn't begin attending Mass again.

Sometimes it's just that group of people, unfortunately. I have been to churches where the people weren't welcoming, I have been to some where everyone was nice, but I just didn't think I'd really fit in comfortably, and now I am at one where it's like a big, eccentric family. I hope you are able to find a nice church home. Some groups of people are just more interested in actually helping each other, and others try to avoid it

I remember not altogether fitting in with people at church , when I was growing up. I think that it can be difficult if you don't conform to some arbitrary unwritten standard of what an all American Christian is supposed to be like. What was worse was that people tended to get the impression that I was gay , even though I gave no indication of my sexual orientation in any way. If people think that you seem weird then they will be generally inclined to consider you to be "queer" and therefore also homosexual. This is especially a stigma in the conservative evangelical churches I was brought in , such as the Church of the Nazarene. Incidentally though , I actually had made friends with some neighborhood boys whom were Catholic. So without really knowing anything about it , I had considered converting to Roman Catholicism , much to the chagrin of my parents , simply in order to attend a church where I would have friendship. Currently though I am an agnostic atheist , and have not been attending any church. P.S. I find that these two songs are encouraging to anyone whom might not feel as if they are getting along socially among others , especially fellow believers , .

I would have called my church experiences cults of personality.

I believe that status was assigned arbitrarily, irrespective of race. Some people were automatically, presumptive scapegoats, no matter who they were, or what they had to offer. You could be rich or outgoing, but to no avail.

Many of us believe that we are breaking some unspoken code, but, when you get to the bottom of it, they were just making it up, as they went along. It possibly had nothing to do with your doctrinal differences or participation level.

I find small groups at my church both overwhelming and a breath of fresh air.

People tend to take off their mask and show their vulnerable side.

A friend (in small group ) reminded me not to let hypocrites get between me and God.
I like small groups like
Celebrate Recovery. (By the way it's not just alcoholics or drug addicts that attend)
Getting into service gets me to church and out of myself.
I've been a greeter, set up, Praise & Worship musician and small group leader.
When I'm all wrapped up in me I make a small package.
I try to call a male church member. This week I made one call & one volunteer laugh program at a homeless shelter.

I can hardly describe church as being a social environment. All I do is go to church to worship, help out with the music ministry, and go home. There are a few people who hang out after mass and talk to friends/family, but most of them are gone after 20 minutes. I don't see where the cliques can come from. That being said, the vast majority of people at my church are over 40 and under 15.

I'm a very agnostic Catholic, by the way.