People misinterpret functioning labels

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Why are the following words so often asked .... “Why can’t people think of others?”

This is likely commonly asked, as not only people from particular difference/disability backgrounds, but those who might be associated to them via parental/caregiving/teaching roles etc can also find themselves at the receiving end of being misunderstood. There can be disparaging comments or looks, and sometimes judgement is wrongly passed on a child/adult with differences, visible or non-visible. I remember being taught in school to close my eyes and pretend I was blind, and walk about in a certain area to experience what it might be like minus sight. I later went on to work with blind children and both children and adults with various other challenges, and I believe that that question is largely asked, as people simply want more respect and acceptance. To understand the difficulties someone is facing in order to go outside and live among society with x, y & z challenges, it would be hoped that society as a whole takes a gentler, less hostile approach to those with challenges. People generally fear what they don’t understand. Naturally, you’ll never find 100% acceptance and understanding in society, since it’s made up of people with all kinds of challenges of their own through their own life experiences and backgrounds.

I personally prefer people not to know of my challenges, as I don’t need any particular concessions or consideration, I prefer to put my head down and get on with life. But, when I was completely deaf for 2 months recently, I found it interesting and a little frustrating that shop assistants who would want to strike up a conversation with me, couldn’t get their heads round my words “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you as I have hearing issues.” They simply kept on talking to me and I had no idea what they were saying, but they kept on and on ... it was tricky and I handled it as politely as I could, but it was an uncomfortable situation.

That is an interesting point in regards to blind and deaf people.

In regards to autism, many issues are not that the autism side of it itself is the problem, but it is the way in which those who are positively not on the spectrum can't relate or understand those who are which causes the friction.

They can partially relate to a blind or a deaf person because they can wear a blindfold or they can put earplugs in their ears to give them an idea of what it is like, but it is difficult for someone who is very much an NT to relate to someone on the spectrum.

I am looking at myself where I think I am likely to be on the spectrum but am I as in some ways, before I knew what some autism traits actually were, I assumed I was somewhere boarderline.
Now some traits like stimming, at first I assumed I did not do as I did not fully appreciate what stimming was and I have since realized that I have had a lifelong masking battle to prevent myself, or hide stimming. I assumed this was normal and that everyone else were expert at masking and I wasn't. Little did I realize that no one else was masking as they did not have to hide stimming as they did not stim (Or if they did it was mild and easily stopped if they wanted to. For me it was a mjor battle to stop a stim and if I stopped one, another new stim would develop!)

But what I am saying is, that the more I learned whzt autism is, the more I could relate to it, and the more I started to think what or how an NT thinks, because the more I found out and could relate to autism traits, the less I knew about NT's if that makes sense? I realized that I don't actually know what an NT is. I went from not knowing what autism is to realizing that I already know!
It is an odd feeling because I believed when I found the first two traits just before joining tnis site that I was boarderline and I honestly thought that I understood things from both perspectives, but now I'm not so sure. You see I realize how much masking, and how well I was masking over such a long period of time in order to try and fit in. "Try" is/was the key word!

I guess it was how I was raised, I wasn't allowed to hurt people and once my mom told me she would send me away if I hurt anyone again, I am gone, I stopped and went onto self harm and then restrictive eating so my behavior was replaced. Plus I was always held accountable for my actions.

Also these autistic people were hurting people, not objects, and I believe if they pose a danger by hurting others, they belong in an institution. That is how I feel about violent criminals too, those who can't help themselves either. Yes I would call them low functioning also. You don't need to be autistic to be low functioning. There are low functioning cluster B disorders too and low functioning brain damaged people.

I also think people working in those places deserve a very high pay because they are risking their lives everyday at work.

It's possible these autistic people have other issues than just autism because aggression is not a symptom of autism. One of them turned out to have BPD and wasn't autistic at all (was misdiagnosed as being HFA) so that explained why that mom stopped posting here. She used to post about her daughter abusing her and her twin sister and I told her to put her daughter in a hospital and she said "I will not abandon her" and then when her daughter was doing self harm and trying to commit suicide, then she had no problem "abandoning her" when she put her there. This daughter was targeting her mom and her sister and not objects and would try and pound down the door when they would lock themselves in a room to get away from her when she was violent. Turned out she was borderline so that explained why things didn't add up. She was high functioning but yet had coping skills of a toddler which made zero sense. People with BPD do have emotions of a toddler so they do what we call splitting.Toddlers do the same things borderlines do but at that age it's normal and then they grow out of it. It's abusive when a teen and an adult does it but not for a toddler.

No. Every high-functioning autistic is different.

I was diagnosed with being on the high-functioning end of the spectrum, which was known as Asperger's syndrome back then.
Because I don't struggle with those things you listed from my post, I do often question my diagnosis. But then when I think back to how badly socially isolated I was as a teenager, and the frequent outbursts I used to have when change happened, and the way I got so obsessed with certain people (crushes and fixations), I then go back to thinking "wait, maybe my diagnosis was right." But I have ADHD too, and anxiety disorder.

I believe that things also are less clear today through a lack of discipline in a physical way (I don't mean beating. I mean a smack on the bottom! Not allowed in many places anymore).
I say this because there are now children growing up who have "Dissorders" directly relating to the lack of discipline in their lives, which complicate things in regards to various other unrelated conditions like autism with its various forms and traits.

No, that's not my opinion; I never said they were being misinterpreted by "all and sundry." Some people actually know what those labels were intended to mean. And what I'm saying could be verified by tracing the etymology of the terms.

Don't misrepresent what I've said. Your passive aggressiveness is transparent, by the way. Let me guess: this is another topic you take personally, and you're acting out because of that?

Ah yes. I do think lack of discipline can create behaviors in kids. I once read a post on Reddit by a 17 year old. She was on the toilet and her 22 year old autistic brother (severe, she said) wanted to be in there but she wouldn't let him. He had a meltdown and got mad at her. So when she was out with her friends, she came back to her make up collection destroyed by her older brother. The fact that he waited till she was gone and the fact he targeted her collection tells me this was calculated and intentional. The fact the parents blamed it on her and said she should have just given up her privacy and let him see her in there. So I knew it was the fault of the parents and I felt so angry at them and mad for her. Yes autistic people can be manipulative too. He had learned to get his way and his parents would always side with him and it would never be his fault. This was learned behavior. I blamed the parents more than the 22 year old. This was no meltdown on her brother's end because he had waited till she was gone to ruin her make up collection and he knew it was her favorite and she spent her money on it she earned. Autistic people can learn to manipulate. Should he be locked away, I would say not since this is learned behavior and normally these people would only do it to specific people they know they can get away with and know they would never be rejected by them. That is why some autistic kids are only violent at home and not in school because they can get away with it at home. I saw one on the Dr Phil show why was an aspie and he was only violent towards his family because he knew they would never reject him so i thought what if they decided to set their boundaries and threaten to kick him out if he hurts them again and his bio mom who gave him up for adoption, then he can help it. He even admitted himself he doesn't do it to anyone else because of consequences but he knows his bio mom will never abandon him so he abuses her when he is mad. I thought he was just a coward and how dare Dr. Phil defend it and blame it on his autism. If he can be non violent out in the real world, he can certainly help it. He is just doing it because he can get away with it. I don't buy it's poor impulse control and if that were true, then he needs to be in an institution so he can't hurt anyone.

People suggested to the 17 year old it sounded like the parents didn't know what to do about it so they let him get away with everything and never taught him, not that they were narcissists.

all and sundry = everyone

and to be fair to firemonkey your opening line was



i know it was just a figure of speech but some people take words literally , they can't help it , it's a trait of ASD and sadly can cause conflict.

How do we take functioning labels literally? What does it mean then?

i was referring to the word 'everyone' or 'all and sundry' being taken literally

This is why I say "lot of people" or "most people" or "some people" to avoid any offense but someone on here and anywhere else will still take offense and take it as I am talking about them as if they are guilty. Yeah "most" and "some" does not mean everyone.

I've been neither acting out or passive aggressive , as starkid has claimed. I just don't agree with her take on things . Disagreeing with someone doesn't mean you're acting out or passive aggressive.