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TLPG
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03 Jan 2008, 6:15 am

Absolutely! This is the main reason why I'm an activist - to catch up. And in order to do that there needs to be changes. Changes in law (in Australia at least), changes in support systems and changes in attitudes amongst NT's - especially the decision makers.

I had to wait 32 years of my life to identify myself per se. That's how I fell behind - lack of understanding of myself. I don't have that problem now, but that discovery was much later than reasonably acceptable.



2ukenkerl
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03 Jan 2008, 6:46 am

YEAH, and you know WHY!?!?!?

1. Lack of restraint in some things.
2. Lack of ability under stress.
3. Lack of social skills.
4. Lack of NEGOTIATION skills.

GO FIGURE, ALL can be tied to AS, and I determined this even when I was 7 or 8! That was in the early 70s!

SURE I have a good job, but I am stuck in a track that is based on ME! That means there is a definite limit and no leverage. Also, I generally don't take vacations.

HECK, I took time off for christmas and new years and a guy JUNIOR to me in EVERYWAY but social badmouthed me, and told LIES, etc... because he was put over me due to perceived better social skills. And I was called to task for not being a team player! In other words, **I** was blamed for HIS apparent LACK of SOCIAL SKILLS towards ME by HIS estimation! INCREDIBLE!

As for family? I could do SO much better than the average NT! I would treat the children, and my wife FAIRLY! I would be a good provider! I could help the kids with any educational concerns. I would ENCOURAGE them to do more, and become good at a general task, like math. I would be nice! I bet I could keep my wife happy. ALAS, I guess I may never know.



Izaak
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03 Jan 2008, 7:05 am

I no longer judge my own life by comparing to that of others.

By my own standards I am right on track.



Photon
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03 Jan 2008, 7:30 am

Why yeah, it sure does feel like the whole world is receeding away from me at a much faster rate.

But then, when I was a teengaer I was never aware of time nor could I measure it as some finite linear experience.
Teenagers tick boxes as though it is necessary to do so when they reach a certain age, 16- lose vaginity, 17- learn to drive, 18- get drunk, get girlsfreind, 19- enrole at university, etc.
I missed out on these accomplishments becuase I never thought it was necessary, I'm far behind people my own age but then I have achieved so much knowledge of the world since then.
I don't and still don't live my life by some set of rules, even if it is expected by 90% of the population. What happened to individuality?



Paguk
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03 Jan 2008, 11:19 am

It's not so much that I'm comparing my life's progress with that of others...I simply realize that I won't be in my twenties forever and need SOMETHING to look forward to in the half century between now and oblivion.



coolstertothecore
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03 Jan 2008, 12:54 pm

My boyfriend and I were discussing this just yesterday. We're both 22, almost 23 and it seems that everyone we know is stepping onto the property ladder/getting married/having kids. We're living with his parents and have never had a place of our own. He's doing okay at uni, doing a PhD with good prospects of getting a lecturing/research job. I however, got a first degree, got a Primary teaching PGCE, and then couldn't get past the interview stage. I tried supply teaching but my anxiety got out of hand and I had to quit. So now I'm applying for part-time almost minimum wage work, and I still can't get past the interview! I also have a grand total of 3 friends, one is my boyfriend, one is a penpal and the other I just e-mail.

So I guess we're quite a way behind, and it annoys me to think that lazy people at high school left at 16 and now own their own houses, but I made the decision to continue my education and in many ways I'm glad that I did because I've learnt so much.

The truth is that I quite like being unemployed, spending my days going for walks and reading books and making spreadsheets of things. The prospect of working full-time, especially at something I don't enjoy, is pretty scary. I'm hoping to get a part-time job soon though, if only to improve my CV, and maybe one day I'll find somewhere that accepts me for who I am.

I've always dreamt of having my own house and garden and I had planned to have it by now, but 23 isn't old so I'm not worried. At least i managed to find someone to love, and I think that's the hardest thing of all for most people.

I think the best thing is not to think about where other people are. I often feel that really, my life is all that there is. And I can choose to be happy about my situation or I can feel sad about it. Sometimes I do feel sad, but mostly I try to enjoy it, even if it's just a walk down the canal or listening to beautiful music. I savour every second of it and at least then i know that I'm making the most of how things are.



Wistaria
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03 Jan 2008, 4:25 pm

I certainly fail at life, without a doubt.

- Education: I didn't definiteively drop out at a single moment, but tried half-heartedly to learn for the final 4+ years (grade 9-12 & repeat year, then got kicked out of college when I stopped attending yet again).
- Self-transportation: I never learned how to drive because of a phobia & anxiety issues.
- Monetary Independence: Never had a job or income/government support. Absolutely no motivation to get employment because I always get bullied or forced into headgames, and I get badly stressed so easily I would be a liability. Even then, I'm still not disabled enough to be eligible for a pension so I'm pretty much having to live at my parents' home until the day I/they die.
- Relationships: I do have a very serious relationship with a significant other (I find the term "boyfriend" disgusting as it implies certain things I am not a part of), but since he lives on the other side of the world it's extremely difficult to sort out a way to be together in person.
- Social: As if I want to be social. I've never had a desire to go out and find friends, even when I'm at my loneliest emotionally. I have many siblings still living at home with our parents, so it's not loneliness for lack of people being around in a literal sense.


...even now, I'm still not motivated to change any of it. There's just no point in stepping into "hell" (employment) just to extend my life via an income.

Bleh, sorry for the misery post. I've needed to get that off my chest for a long time.



TLPG
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03 Jan 2008, 4:26 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:
HECK, I took time off for christmas and new years and a guy JUNIOR to me in EVERYWAY but social badmouthed me, and told LIES, etc... because he was put over me due to perceived better social skills. And I was called to task for not being a team player! In other words, **I** was blamed for HIS apparent LACK of SOCIAL SKILLS towards ME by HIS estimation! INCREDIBLE!


No, typical intolerant NT! Flip him the bird next time he bad mouths you. He deserves it!



Sora
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03 Jan 2008, 4:31 pm

I haven't noticed a thing this big lately, but until recently when I got 18, I was always first behind my peers for same time and it was easy to spot. Then suddenly I managed to catch up and even got further than my peers - who in return were leaving me behind in something else and I had to catch up again.
People switched between assuming I might me mentally ret*d or highly gifted every other year. I do hope it won't be like that again now that I'm older.



angelgirl1224
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03 Jan 2008, 5:09 pm

well at 16 No not really, although this might change.



pakled
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03 Jan 2008, 9:12 pm

yes and no.

I've been a PC technician, but for over 20 years. Most of the others have left the field, gone into management, or networks, or who knows where. They love the work I do, but the field is getting 'lowered' in a sense, in that there's not as much interest in fixing things, vs pitching them and getting a new one.

The problem at my stage is that I should go into management (networks are going overseas around these parts as fast as they can hire foreign MCSEs, etc., to work in their own countries). However, management is about managing people, instead of things. having understanding, and motivating people to do things they wouldn't otherwise do. I'm not the best at this, so I'm soldiering on, keeping my certs up, and hoping for the best



EvilKimEvil
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03 Jan 2008, 9:57 pm

Yes. It took me years to deal with problems resulting from traumatic experiences that I won't bother to describe. Every time I tried to make my life better, someone would do something to hurt me and set me back. I guess some of it might have something to do with AS. Who knows. Fortunately, I think there is a chance that my life is starting to get better. At least I'm not giving up hope.



2ukenkerl
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03 Jan 2008, 10:41 pm

Sora wrote:
I haven't noticed a thing this big lately, but until recently when I got 18, I was always first behind my peers for same time and it was easy to spot. Then suddenly I managed to catch up and even got further than my peers - who in return were leaving me behind in something else and I had to catch up again.
People switched between assuming I might me mentally ret*d or highly gifted every other year. I do hope it won't be like that again now that I'm older.


I started out WAY ahead of my "peers" in most ways, but then I was just upset by the whole thing, and almost fell into a situation like what you did. In several things I was slightly behind, a bit ahead, etc... When all was said and done, the educational records for me probably look about average for most things after 3rd or 4th grade. The hidden fact that I NEVER cheated, and many others did(One person actually scribbled over my signature on one of MY papers and signed HIS name! He got credit for some of MY work, so he appeared smarter, and I appeared dumber.), certainly didn't help. People have called me stupid and a genius.

Where did I end up? People ask me off the wall questions about various things concerning computers, etc... and are dumbstruck how I know certain things. I get paid well for it. I generally end up being the goto person for general info, or info on the contract I am on. I know a LOT more than average about machinery, electronics, computers, etc... The stuff I was bad in isn't that important, and I find that I am usually no worse than average there. I probably get called a genius like 15 times for every time anyone calls me stupid.

So HEY, maybe you'll do a lot better than you think. DON'T GIVE UP!



Immured
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03 Jan 2008, 11:13 pm

I feel very far behind by the standards the current culture has put forth. Dropped out of college, cannot drive, never held a job, still live with guardians...
But despite all this, I still have dreams and goals that I always try to work on whenever strong enough to clear despair off the path.



Averick
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03 Jan 2008, 11:17 pm

I'm behind in life, but i don't want to dwelve into it..



Phagocyte
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03 Jan 2008, 11:59 pm

Leo21k wrote:
I dropped out of highschool at 16 and never went back to school.

I dont know how to drive a car.

I've never held a job for over a week

I'm single, have no friends, and still live at home.

And I'm 22.

I'd say it's safe to say that I feel pretty behind in life :P

..... :(


Keep in mind that the fact that you live at home gives you the opportunity to "catch up" with these things that many people are unable to.

I guess in some ways I feel behind. I just turned eighteen and have never had a job and I do not hold a driver's licence.

However, I'm not really impeded by not driving as I take the train to school (more conveniently than a car would) and I instead want get a motorcycle license and buy a Vespa motor scooter. I also plan to get a part-time job at or near my university to help me save for graduate school. I think I am "ahead" in the sense that I started college a year early, am extremely ambitious and plan to be a scientist. While I am "immature" in some senses, I think, overall, I have it together more than most kids my age.