Do you offend people unintentionally?

Page 3 of 3 [ 48 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

zendell
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,174
Location: Austin, TX

27 Feb 2008, 5:57 am

I like to tell the truth and that often offends people that don't want to hear it. Some people prefer believing a lie than knowing the truth.



TLPG
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 693

27 Feb 2008, 6:06 am

I believe the truth, Zendell. Trouble is you don't tell it - and worse you don't even realise it.



hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

27 Feb 2008, 2:39 pm

Maybe if offense is taken where none is intended, it's to do with those darned mirror neurons, on the other person's part. :lol:
I think those mirror neurons are just another excuse for projecting.


_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner


Prof_Pretorius
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2006
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,520
Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library

27 Feb 2008, 3:09 pm

Yes I do, but people are never honest enough to tell me. They just quit 'being freindly'. I'm always at a disadvantage in social settings.


_________________
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke


SuperStinger71
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 21
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan

27 Feb 2008, 4:44 pm

I'm very careful, think things over, try to pick the right moment to insert my comment, and still end up causing an awkward silence. People think I'm being an a-hole, but that isn't it at all. Sometimes brutal honesty makes a sneak attack.



Syd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,280

28 Feb 2008, 4:03 pm

Icheb wrote:
No, I usually offend them intentionally.


You're wiser than most (or perhaps you yourself) will ever realize.



Grey_Kameleon
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 193

28 Feb 2008, 4:09 pm

I learned to shut up when I was younger. Unfortunately I found out the hard way that being labeled 'quiet' isn't much better.



Icarus_Falling
everyman antihero
everyman antihero

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,215
Location: beyond human comprehension

28 Feb 2008, 4:51 pm

I offend through being overly honest and blunt not infrequently; I can be inadvertently insensitive. My problem is not only that, but often that I do not realize that I have given offense, or the possibility that I might have does not occur to me until I replay the conversation in my head later.

There have also been times where I've learned that I've offended someone, but am entirely unable to figure out how I gave offense.

For my own part, I really wish people would more overtly let me know if I've offended them, rather than going away and stewing on it. But most humans seem to be trained otherwise.

Generally speaking, if someone gets all offended over something when I meant no offense, I will try to explain the offense away. If someone insists upon remaining offended, I mark that as their problem, not mine. I say in complete sincerity that I find people who are easily offended offensive. I have been known to whip out with, "You thought I gave offense? Let me demonstrate what I'm like when I'm trying to be offensive." 8O

Sounds like you're being repressed, princess_1989!

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=o76WQzVJ434[/youtube]Good fortune,

- Icarus didn't know we had a king either...


_________________
Please forgive me if, in the heat of battle, I sometimes forget which side I'm on.


zee
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,292
Location: on a cloud

28 Feb 2008, 5:11 pm

Danielismyname wrote:
It's kinda a given for people with Asperger's to offend people without meaning to, unless they don't talk to people.


And many people will think that's offensive too--like you're too good to talk to them or something.



Social_Fantom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,908
Location: Trapped outside of the space time continuum

28 Feb 2008, 7:50 pm

I offend people both intentionally and unintentionally. The only difference is that is bothers me when I don't mean to, then I become overly apologetic.


_________________
So simple, it's complicated


lotus
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2007
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 183

29 Feb 2008, 12:10 am

Quote:
I have been told that people have called me passive aggressive (??? ???)


Same here....



Villain
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 56

29 Feb 2008, 5:01 am

happened to me all the time when I was younger.. I've made a habit of apologizing for almost everything personal I say, just to be sure..



neongrl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2005
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 704
Location: Delhi, Ontario, Canada

01 Mar 2008, 11:03 pm

zee wrote:
Danielismyname wrote:
It's kinda a given for people with Asperger's to offend people without meaning to, unless they don't talk to people.


And many people will think that's offensive too--like you're too good to talk to them or something.


That pretty much sums it up for me. I talk very little, which some people take the wrong way and get offended, and when I do talk half the time I end up regretting it because I end up offending or hurting the people who are close to me.



richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

01 Mar 2008, 11:05 pm

my mom is always pulling this kindof behaviors and soon i will not have to deal with it :thumleft:


_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light


BJWanlund
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2006
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 18
Location: Brevard, North Carolina, USA

01 Mar 2008, 11:34 pm

YES, all the time! Seriously, that makes me mental.

BJ



Bobby1933
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2008
Age: 91
Gender: Male
Posts: 129
Location: Idaho, USA

01 Mar 2008, 11:54 pm

Yes :o :( , But less as I get older. :)

I see the problem as similar to cross-cultural communication. You can learn what people will or wont accept from books, seminars, people who have been there, etc. Or you can just blunder in and learn by trial and error, if someone doesn't kill you early on. Problem is we are taught that the NT cultures are our cultures so we don't realize how out of place we are or how much we have to learn if we want to fit in.

There are some great postings on this thread; I've learned a lot by reading them.