Why do people ask, "How are you doing?"?

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some poeople say it here.. they say that too, it's more the people that want to be tough and homie like that say it.

It's annoying.

I hope I'm ok to reply to this thread- Dunc has assured me that this is the pupose of this best of the threads idea- but if I annoy anyone I'm sorry I just couldn't resist replying to this post.

It took me until I was about 24 to figure out that when people asked me how I was they didn't really want to know. And I was guilty of not asking them back (cos I didn't really want to know lol). I always used to answer honestly and in detail. One day I just suddenly realised that people didn't even stop walking to hear my answer until I'd started rambling and I realised they didn't actually care. I was honestly really shocked- why bother asking if you don't really care??
I felt so stupid for not realising this sooner, so it's great to see I'm by now means alone on that one

BTW- it also took me a little longer to realise that I should ask them how they were too lol.

The other night I was at a Cub Scout Christmas party for our boys. One of the other adults came up to me and apparently decided he wanted to start a conversation (or so I thought! ).

He: So what's new?
Me: Well, as of today, I'm done wrapping, done baking and I'm all ready for Christmas.
He (rolls his eyes): Oh don't even say that! Just stop talking!
Me: No seriously, I'm all done, everything's ready, and now I can relax for the week.
He (visibly irritated now): Oh just stop it. I don't want to hear that!
<moment of awkward silence>
Me: So it was just a "social" question? Kind of like "how are you - I really don't want to know"?
He (walking away): Yeah, like that.

It was also probable that he felt jealous of you because you were done and ready, while he probably wasn't. And he also maybe thought you were gloating when you repeated it. Of course, actually admitting that would be outside his thinking processes...

Just another perspective on what might have been going on.

Anna

Yeah, probably. I figured that out a few days later. Things like that never occur to me at the time!

for the same reason dogs sniff butts and primates groom for chiggers and ticks.

it's a vocalization meant to facilitate social interaction in a way that involves little thought but still expresses a vague concern for the welfare of your fellow humans.

somehow they never understand when you pee on their tires.

It'a just a phrase that have been used for all time.

Its a greeting, not an actual question.

BeeBee

What is annoying is when people go 'how is it hanging' and are surprised by a response.

I have always been closed-mouthed on such subjects because it takes too long to truly assess "how I am doing." So, I have always been in the habit of saying "I am doing well/good" for when I actually AM doing well/good, and I simply say "I am fine" when I am neutral or doing poorly.

My mother hated this, because these were always the responses she got from me, no more, no less. And she would then ask me specific questions if she really did want to hear more.

"How was your day?"
"Fine."

In Northern Ireland people say "Right?" as a greeting (short for "Are you all right"/"how are you doing?") and for the longest time I had no idea how to respond properly. It seems you just say "Right?" in response lol.

It makes no sense to me and I hate saying it, but I suppose you have to if you want people to think you're normal.

I also get people asking me "what's wrong?" when I feel just fine. Do they expect me to walk around with a smile plastered on my face all day?

I get this too, and it's something that's always mystified me. Seriously, I do not see everyone else walking about grinning all day.

If that is the kiwi equivalent of "wassup?" then my guess would be that you respond in kind. I like "wassup?" and " 'sup? " because it's a simple greeting with no pressure to elaborate on how you feel or what you have been up to and (at leaast in America) it can be used in polite conversation.


That's unfortunate, because then you wouldn't feel pressured to spill all your feelings to someone.

I HAVE NO CLUE WHY SOMEONE ASK THIS QUSTION IF THEY DONT REALLY WANT TO KNOW .I CANT TELL EATHIR WHEN IM SOUPED TO SAY WHAT THEY JUST ASK OR ONLY SAY OK IM FINE WHATEVER
IT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND NORMAL SOCIAL STUFF

I hate this question. It's pointless small talk. Like they really care what I'm thinking (since it usually isn't much of the person asking it).

Yes, often it is as automatic as "Hello". And a mere formality at that. Silly humans.