How well do you deal with changes to your routine?

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I don't react well to changes in my routine. I like to run everything to a strict timetable... if anything messes with that timetable (like a train is cancelled) then the day goes badly.

My flexibility is mostly determined by how much sleep I've had. On short sleep, or if I'm hungry or otherwise stressed, I don't have the spare brain capacity to make new plans. If I've put a lot of preparation into something, I don't like it to be cancelled. But I've had some great changes. One day, my friends came with a van and told me to lock the store. Then we went and sat on a beach for the summer solstice, and I saw the midnight glow for the first time.

I really love my cozy routines! I'm trying to work on being better about dealing with changes, though. Like Dear_one said, a lot depends on sleep and stress.

If my daily routine is disrupted it causes me severe anxiety, and I've found as I get older it is getting worse. I need to follow my routine everyday.

My wife and I just had a big fight because I was stressed and anxious because she sent me a message asking me to fly with our sons for a vacation 5 DAYS FROM NOW to a foreign city where she'll happen to be for just one night. Which means I'd have ro rearrange all my work and other schedule.

I get really confused and overwhelmed which ends in a meltdown.

Hello, I'm 31, high functioning ASD, ADHD, SPD, synesthesia and sensory hypersensitivity.
And I have a big problem about the changes in my routine. I can't handle it.
I've changed my job, because of my sensory issues. I have absolutely no problems with my new job - home office, zero stressful situations, I can work without needing the rest of the day to recover, which is great, but... My routine fell apart and I'm not able to make a mew routine. With my new job I can live freely, it helps me to prevent overwhelming situations and daily meltdowns, but without my routine I can't manage everyday activities (personal hygiene, cooking & washing up, cleaning the flat,...)
There are no therapists and specialists in my location, so I'm asking you at WP forum for help. How to make a new routine? Thanx for your advices

I build a new routine by making a to-do list, and trying to do the repeating things at the same time each day or week. I find it easier to regulate when I eat than when I sleep, and then the sleep starts to match. I also make little check marks on my calendars for the most important things, like drinking enough water. Without that, nothing works and I can't figure out why for a day.

I have a to-do list, I'm trying to repeating things at the same time each day, but I failed every time. How to persist?
I'm really happy because now I have 2-3 meltdowns per week (instead of 2-3 meltdowns every day) and I must be really careful, don't wanna havin' a meltdowns every day again. I need to build my new routine delicately, because I'm too sensitive..

Establish them one at a time if two are too many.

I think that my problem is the adaptation. Adaptation to my new routine.. I can build my new routine more less how I want, but it's problem, because of the change. Maybe it was too big shock to me, but I had no choice..

Depends on many factors:

How much advanced notice. Or if it's something to be expected.

If I want the change

Scale

How I feel at that time

How long the change lasts

How long it's been since the most recent significant change

__________________________________

The largest changes I have had thus far:

Lived in three different apartments in undergrad. Evicted twice, with 30 days notice. In the middle of a quarter

FTM actually wasn't a large change. After four and a half years (non consecutive) testosterone, the only things different - voice a Lil lower, less menstruation, appetite.

Counseling

Starting and ending school

Made redundant from all the jobs

Old man and old woman dropped dead

Academic major

Precious lil "friends"

Job

About 14 months.
It was a change from day to day during my last autistic burnout. I've changed just a job /and routine/. It was "run away now or die now" situation. After the change I really enjoyed the feeling of having just 2 meltdowns per week instead of 2 per day, I enjoyed of having 80% less sensory issues, and I just took a rest. So long rest, needed to recover. Now I am OK (more less), but I forgot a lot of things, especially social skills and the basic daily routine. I have to build a new, healthy routine again. So... What would my new routine look like?

This is not my first change and not my biggest change, I'm independent since 16 and had a really wild life
But adapt to a new routine is very difficult. Change of the city, country and flat is pretty much easier to me..

What means Precious lil "friends"?

How did you deal with it? What was your new job?
I've always had a job with fixed working hours, but my new job is the opposite. Flexible working hours, about 3 hours of work/day.
So I think about building my new routine. It should start here, I should set a fixed working hours. My sleeping routine wasn't changed, my sleeping time is 20:30 - 4:30, so my new working time could be 5:00 - 8:00.

4:30 - 5:00 wake up, have a coffee and breakfast
5:00 - 8:00 work
OK, I have a first part of my new daily routine

My first and probably only thought here is that you try too hard to please people. If I'd gotten the same text I would've, with no more emotions than Mr. Spock, texted back to say that I couldn't make it. No explanation necessary (niece's photobook). Just say "I'm unable to; hope you can find someone else."

Sounds like you put your coworker's feelings and comfort ahead of your own. You don't owe her your help, especially when she has the gaul to request it on such short notice!! !! ! Were you hired to be on sudden call? NO (I assume). Thus, you're not obligated to help her out. Your response sounds like how a people-pleasing NT might've responded or felt. It's perfectly okay NOT to serve other people who expect you to just drop your plans and serve them on a whim.

As for me in general, I've been working from home for many years and kind of forgot how sudden change, related to a job, affected me. But I do recall I didn't like when our workstations had to change rooms. We all worked at the same station. Even the NTs liked "Their desk," though someone else used those same desks on different shifts. Usually mine was empty when I came in for my shift. But sometimes the shift before me was on overtime, and someone would be in "MY" station. This caused distress, as I had to find a different station.

I welcome sameness, routine and predictability. If it's not present, I don't freak out, but I don't like it. If a service person says he'll be early arrival to my home, I do NOT like this. If he's supposed to be there at 2 pm, and he texts and says he'll be there at 1:45, I don't like this. If the apt. is at 11 am and he knocks on my door at ten minutes to, I'll crack it open and tell him it was for 11 and he needs to wait 10 minutes.

Thus, some forms of change I do NOT like, while others I'm fine with (e.g., rearrangement of equipment at the gym). Cancellation of a doctor or medical professional's appointment--by THEIR office--is among the most distressing.

Lol I asked my husband this question regarding myself, he said that "I'm like the hamsters when their cage is cleaned and they get angry and upset and reshuffle things" (hamsters like consistent environment and not have things changed around).

Yeah I can be pretty bad with changes. Bigger ones and I have been known to melt down quite badly.

Even changes like my husband will say "oh so and so is coming over for a visit next weekend (a small few hours)" and I will initially get kind of angry/panicky feeling like I'm being forced into something, but I'm trying to get better at this reaction. I cannot STAND when people come over unannounced or just drop some major schedule shift change on me. It really messes me up.

It seems to be more the mental preparedness that I've got in my head for the change is in direct correlation to the reaction I give (rather ok with it to outright upset/angry/panicky).

Big changes (like a job change) can be REALLY bad for me to get ok with. It seriously took me like 8 months to be more ok in my current job without feeling utterly miserable and angry and upset, suicidal. I was having really bad meltdowns. I feel like my brain hates change like that so bad that it makes me pay for it so horribly so I'll learn to not do that to my brain ever again.