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Do you find it hard to be nice?

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swbluto
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24 Oct 2011, 10:58 am

Vale wrote:
I really like being nice. Maybe your just a bad person...:(


I'm bad at being a bad person because I have the acting skills (or lack thereof) that comes with being autistic, so I must be a really bad person. :cry:



Ganondox
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24 Oct 2011, 11:26 am

swbluto wrote:
Vale wrote:
I really like being nice. Maybe your just a bad person...:(


I'm bad at being a bad person because I have the acting skills (or lack thereof) that comes with being autistic, so I must be a really bad person. :cry:


Acting, aspies are frequently great actors, possibly because they need to act like they are normal all the time.



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24 Oct 2011, 11:31 am

Ganondox wrote:
swbluto wrote:
Vale wrote:
I really like being nice. Maybe your just a bad person...:(


I'm bad at being a bad person because I have the acting skills (or lack thereof) that comes with being autistic, so I must be a really bad person. :cry:


Acting, aspies are frequently great actors, possibly because they need to act like they are normal all the time.


Only aspies who are verbal thinkers. Aspies who are good in visual -or pattern thinking aren't the greatest actors.



Robdemanc
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24 Oct 2011, 3:08 pm

I think most NT's can be extememly mean but seem like they are being nice. I usually am indifferent and people often interpret that as meanness.



Simonono
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24 Oct 2011, 4:42 pm

pokerface wrote:
Simonono wrote:
I find it hard to not be nice. Thus why I can never say no :roll:


But what do you do when people if people don't treet you well? Do you stand up for yourself, do you get angry with them or what?


Hmm... That depends who it is who has made me angry. I'm honestly not good at standing up for myself so I try to ignore it :roll:



swbluto
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24 Oct 2011, 7:33 pm

pokerface wrote:
Ganondox wrote:
swbluto wrote:
Vale wrote:
I really like being nice. Maybe your just a bad person...:(


I'm bad at being a bad person because I have the acting skills (or lack thereof) that comes with being autistic, so I must be a really bad person. :cry:


Acting, aspies are frequently great actors, possibly because they need to act like they are normal all the time.



I wouldn't automatically lump all aspies into a "great actor" or "bad actor" type. Obviously, most aspies ARE bad actors otherwise most wouldn't get singled out and relentlessly bullied if they had the choice of avoiding it. You think most aspies purposely act in such a way because they want to get bullied or excluded?


Quote:
Only aspies who are verbal thinkers. Aspies who are good in visual -or pattern thinking aren't the greatest actors.


Something along these lines. ^^ - those with traditional aspergers have better verbal than visual/pattern abilities, while those with more classical forms of autism tend to have worse verbal than visual/pattern abilities, so those with autism are usually worse actors than aspies, who themselves tend to be bad actors. Now if you're one of those with a milder form of aspergers (A type of aspergers that spares language usage and your ability to communicate nonverbally.) and/or if you can compensate with really levels of intelligence, then yes, you can be a great actor, but we're talking about a minority here.



Ganondox
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24 Oct 2011, 9:00 pm

swbluto wrote:
pokerface wrote:
Ganondox wrote:
swbluto wrote:
Vale wrote:
I really like being nice. Maybe your just a bad person...:(


I'm bad at being a bad person because I have the acting skills (or lack thereof) that comes with being autistic, so I must be a really bad person. :cry:


Acting, aspies are frequently great actors, possibly because they need to act like they are normal all the time.



I wouldn't automatically lump all aspies into a "great actor" or "bad actor" type. Obviously, most aspies ARE bad actors otherwise most wouldn't get singled out and relentlessly bullied if they had the choice of avoiding it. You think most aspies purposely act in such a way because they want to get bullied or excluded?


Quote:
Only aspies who are verbal thinkers. Aspies who are good in visual -or pattern thinking aren't the greatest actors.


Something along these lines. ^^ - those with traditional aspergers have better verbal than visual/pattern abilities, while those with more classical forms of autism tend to have worse verbal than visual/pattern abilities, so those with autism are usually worse actors than aspies, who themselves tend to be bad actors. Now if you're one of those with a milder form of aspergers (A type of aspergers that spares language usage and your ability to communicate nonverbally.) and/or if you can compensate with really levels of intelligence, then yes, you can be a great actor, but we're talking about a minority here.


Well I was paraphrasing something else, which essentially stated that while aspies tend to be bad liars they are often make good actors. I personally am an ok actor, and don't have problems with language usage, and I'm relatively good at nonverbal communication. Are you sure what you are revering to as traditional Aspergers isn't more severe Aspergers and what you refer to as milder Aspergers isn't more traditional Aspergers?



swbluto
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25 Oct 2011, 1:40 am

Ganondox wrote:
Are you sure what you are revering to as traditional Aspergers isn't more severe Aspergers and what you refer to as milder Aspergers isn't more traditional Aspergers?


I suppose it's possible that the psychological community has been diluting the meaning of the "aspergers" label in recent years. If it's been letting in socially skilled people like yourself in, then it must be.



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25 Oct 2011, 2:07 am

swbluto wrote:
Ganondox wrote:
Are you sure what you are revering to as traditional Aspergers isn't more severe Aspergers and what you refer to as milder Aspergers isn't more traditional Aspergers?


I suppose it's possible that the psychological community has been diluting the meaning of the "aspergers" label in recent years. If it's been letting in socially skilled people like yourself in, then it must be.


Being an "ass"is what ASD people do quite naturally. There are MANY who are gifted enough to realize that this is counter productive and figure out ways to be better. There are also many who get very good at social skills. Ari N'eman is one such example. You really need to learn about this disorder a bit more....



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25 Oct 2011, 2:08 am

I find it hard to be mean in general, I'll usually say nothing if I can't say something nice.

I'll forgive an accident

I do however find it unusually easy to be mean when someone does something with malice and intent,


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25 Oct 2011, 1:38 pm

I am known for having a gentle disposition and being overly nice. But in the AS support groups I have attended, a lot of the other members came off as being prickly, ill-tempered, and arrogant. I would be too if I always spoke my mind, which is filled with negativity most of the time.

I believe guys with AS are often so crotchety because they are sexually frustrated. A lot of us go through our whole lives not only single, but virgins as well, factors that do not bode well for a man's disposition. Maybe one of the reasons I have such a more agreeable disposition than most Aspies I've met is simply because this is not an issue for me.

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Check out "Problem Child," my published memoir of my life with high-functioning autism.



swbluto
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25 Oct 2011, 1:42 pm

Daryl_Blonder wrote:
I believe guys with AS are often so crotchety because they are sexually frustrated. A lot of us go through our whole lives not only single, but virgins as well, factors that do not bode well for a man's disposition. Maybe one of the reasons I have such a more agreeable disposition than most Aspies I've met is simply because this is not an issue for me.[/url]


Hehe, that reminds me of a quote I saw on an Emotional Life episode from a quoted comedian. It basically said SOMETHING like, "A man needs a car, a job and sex to be happy. If you don't have one of those things, you aren't going to be happy, simple as that.".

If you lack two of the three, woo, that's a major whammy. All three, OUCH!



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25 Oct 2011, 5:38 pm

Depends on who is in front of me..... as often I feel being mean can be more helpful to them

than being nice

Good friends are honest



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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25 Oct 2011, 8:18 pm

pokerface wrote:
Simonono wrote:
I find it hard to not be nice. Thus why I can never say no :roll:


But what do you do when people if people don't treet you well? Do you stand up for yourself, do you get angry with them or what?

What I do is complain about them to other people. I learned somewhere down the line not to stand up for myself, probably due to excessive bullying. I found myself in situations where survival depended on just being quiet and passive. I find it's better to complain to others than to aggravate a situation with an unbalanced person who is probably going to get more pissed off with every word I dare utter.



swbluto
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25 Oct 2011, 8:22 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
pokerface wrote:
Simonono wrote:
I find it hard to not be nice. Thus why I can never say no :roll:


But what do you do when people if people don't treet you well? Do you stand up for yourself, do you get angry with them or what?

What I do is complain about them to other people. I learned somewhere down the line not to stand up for myself, probably due to excessive bullying. I found myself in situations where survival depended on just being quiet and passive. I find it's better to complain to others than to aggravate a situation with an unbalanced person who is probably going to get more pissed off with every word I dare utter.


Oh, but that's nearly as fun and decisive as having a verbal war and winning a quick victory against some mother *cker who needs to die. You just need to remember, if you want to end it quickly after a good joust, just insult their mother in a subtle way and then use the "talk to hand" language while you walk off and ignore them. It works every time!



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25 Oct 2011, 8:25 pm

swbluto wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
pokerface wrote:
Simonono wrote:
I find it hard to not be nice. Thus why I can never say no :roll:


But what do you do when people if people don't treet you well? Do you stand up for yourself, do you get angry with them or what?

What I do is complain about them to other people. I learned somewhere down the line not to stand up for myself, probably due to excessive bullying. I found myself in situations where survival depended on just being quiet and passive. I find it's better to complain to others than to aggravate a situation with an unbalanced person who is probably going to get more pissed off with every word I dare utter.


Oh, but that's nearly as fun and decisive as having a verbal war and winning a quick victory against some mother *cker who needs to die.

I'm not good at verbal wars. I am way too sensitive for that kind of thing. I end up crying and that's the worse thing anyone can do in that situation because the other person goes ballistic and really verbally terrorizes if they see any weakness. I used to lay my head on the desk and totally ignore the person, using my arms as a barrier. Eventually they shut up if they can't see your reaction.