If you want to act and think less autistic...

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No, I didn't start out meek. For as long as I can remember, I've been pretty assertive. Way back to toddler tantrums.

There's already been a lot said on this thread re this point,, but actually if I think of life as existing outside of myself, on its own side, so to speak and not interconnected with 'me,' that is a mental construct; (just as is "me":-): therefore, in terms of movement, including thinking, from the perspective of being alive, if I have a purpose, then that is the purpose of 'life', or at least it is my intent to make it be,as the point that was already made by someone, life (for me) cannot exist if I do not exist. So the Darwinian theory of evolution can be only one aspect. There is also an aspect of intelligence which cannot exactly be pinpointed, as to pinpoint it cannot include the the aspect of being interdependent. So it is like zero, but not exactly the zero of numbers, as to the 'real 'zero is the zero of oneself not existing. This is why it is not possible to make a grand theory of the universe which includes gravity.

This is kind of all speculation, but not exactly:-).

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your feelings. Your message touched me deeply, and I have been thinking about you ever since but answered another message on this thread today simply because it was easier to respond to. I am still thinking of what to say....also, something very difficult is going on in my life right now (not a physical health problem).which started by coincidence about the time I joined this forum and seems to be escalating everyday, and I cannot cope, but I have to.. My daughter just finally acknowledged to me in a phone conversation that the situation is impossible (meaning not solvable, though of course ultimately there will be some kind of resolution though I may not like it), and this would seem like a horrible thing for her to say, but actually it is the best thing she ever said to me, EVER, as it means to me looking reality square into the face in a way which acknowledges me as an individual person, and wow this whole nightmare situation is turning out to be a source of great power. I do see this particular situation as impossible to solve, and she acknowledged my truth without trying to put a false solution upon me. She didn't do it just to accept me, but she also saw it as impossible. In short she heard me and validated the actual, so not just imagined (though of course contextual) truth of my situation because she saw it as it is, and this means to me she accepted me as I am. In this same vein I hope I am not (due to escapist fixer tendencies) trying to paste solutions on you or anyone else and am able to hear what you are saying.

I do have some suggestions but am too stressed right now to write them, and I have to think about how to present some of the material in such a way as it can maybe be assimilated. Love, littlebee

p.s. One thing for sure, speaking of my own experience---how I am perceiving the experience is affecting how I am handling it....and I am not even perceiving it as the glass half empty or half full, just staying in the present and physically enjoying the actions I am taking to try to solve the problem even though these actions may not yield results. I do hope they will, though it does seem to be impossible. I guess survival has something to do with hope.

One interesting thing is that with zen or that kind of thing, staying in the present is generally an attempt to escape from facing certain facts that are unpleasant. I am not into zen but using this an an example. However, facing the fact is a different kind of staying in the present. It is not completely pleasant, but it is powerful, a form of autonomy.

Childhood physical, sexual abuse, emotional abuse....Here is what I think---a unique sensitive and very intelligent child with a genetically unique kind of brain will find very clever and unique ways to buffer and build a defense structure....that is what I did, and I know others do it, too, and the whole aim of having such a defense structure is to never ever be able to see through the veil of it and feel the great unbearable sorrow, so a very smart person will do the job especially well as at that time it is his own unique and intelligent way to survive a situation that to him is unbearable, and then of course later he will come up with all kinds of stories about it, just like I did:-) 'God' help us all....

More on this track to follow, as what is the way in to a maze is also the way out.

Another thing, for those who are reading this, if anyone even is, when you see a little child in the street about to be hit by a car and with out thinking about it you run out to save him, even at risk to yourself, you do not consider whether or not he is autistic, nor do you think of whether you yourself are. That way of factoring data becomes irrelevant.

If you want to think and act less autistic you have to become more superficial:


Something is good if it is good for you, something is bad if it is bad for you.

Something is important if it is importat to your life, something is unimportant if it is unimportant to your life.


Loving someone in autistic terms is to need them because you love them.

Loving someone in non-autistic terms is to love them because you need them.


The more one has a problem with this construction, the more autistic one is thinking. Seeing it that way one should really have pride in autism. It manifests a protest against superficiality.

Qawer, what the is the point of this question? Sacrificing survivial? Are you gonna die? Kill in self defense or whatever.

Are you even Autistic? Or just making fun of people again with your odd questions?

I disagree with your wording completely. Maybe it stands for people who actually want to be NT and cannot accept who they are and want to join the clones.

Less willing to sacrifice what?

If an apoycalypse happens i can live off the land hunt, fish, shoot raiders so i'm good and ready. I can gut and skin my food.

Why would you say people are superficial due to autism?

Gawer are you even Autistic or are you trolling again?

The point is to have autistic people achieve higher quality of life.




I'm in no way making fun of people. I'm trying to share knowledge that has been helpful to me.

And yes, I am.



I agree the wording might have been chosen better. I'm talking about how autistic people could deal with the non-autistic reality they are facing.




Less willing to accept superficiality and sacrifice the opposite of that.





I'm saying the exact opposite.




No not trolling And yes.

Qawer so you said that people who are Autistic are superficial or that they aren't?
First your wording less willing to accept superficiality? What does that mean?

Most Autistic people i have come across are not superficial at all.

Do you mean people who aren't on the spectrum as superficial? That's also judgemental.
Some may be, some may not be.

It is hard to understand you. I know you can word better than that.

Why would we give up what we want to make the rest of the people happy?

We live on planet earth in the universe. There are lots and lots of non-living stuff on this planet. But there are also living creatures. One example is birds. Another example is humans. You and I are both individuals belonging to that last species.

Life does not have a purpose in itself. It is, however, governed by a mechanism which is to exist and ensure contiual existence (through survival).

As a way of ensuring that humans (and life in general) act in favour of survival, humans use a survival technique . The technique is to not view the world the way it truly is.

Because if you view the world as it truly is, life becomes meaningless, simply because life is meaningless. That would be a huge threat to the survival of humans. This would collide with the existence/survival-mechanism.

Instead of viewing the world as it truly is humans have to view it through their own lives (become more "superficial"). When they do this they will be convinced that life actually has a true purpose and is very important.

When you have autism your brain is wired to see the world as it truly is, not through your own life as "normal" people do it. You have to force this consciously.

It is in that sense I am talking about superficiality: Not viewing the world as it truly is, but instead viewing the world as it is to you!

It is in that sense that NT-people are typically more "superficial": they view the world through their own lives, not as the world truly is. I'm not talking about superficiality in negative terms, but in neutral terms: sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. The inability/unwillingness to do this is what basically causes autistics problems in life. For instance not being able to really connect to other people. Autistics are trying to connect to others through an "objective" world view, instead of a "subjective". This will not succeed unless the other person is having the same world view. Since most people view the world "subjectively" autistics are likely to feel alone/left outside.

Last edited by qawer on 31 Mar 2013, 10:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

So what are you saying?

Having understood how the world is put together you may have a better foundation for knowing how to live your life as an autistic.

Also, it gives you a better chance of connecting to other people. You know they want to connect on the "subjective wave", not the objective.

So what.....?

I realise all this "converting an objective perspective into a subjetive" really is the same as seeing wholes instead of details. Focusing too much on details is exactly what is aspies' problem - that's why it works.

I very much agree with the fact that people with ASD tend to value objective thoughts ("you are charming") more than the subjective ones ("I am charmed"). Working against this is hard, and requires constant willpower.

As a self-diagnosed ASD, I think the fight is worth it. Sure, we shouldn't give up who we are deep down, but a little adaptation, as hard as it is, makes life become more like we are a part of humanity rather than just being an eternal observer.

Giving up would feel like surviving for no reason in particular. Feeling, even just a little bit, like one is part of humanity, gives you the good and the bad of that willingness to thrive in life.

My comments inserted in bold type.