You're not autistic!

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Yeah, that cider will really mess with your head! I'd hate to see what the doc would put on me, 6 bottles a week is pretty close to my average

If your relationship is otherwise alright, have you tried asking her what she means by saying this or told her how it comes across to you? I always feel like when parents make such statements it's a defense mechanism resulting from them looking at three possibilities: a) your child has autism or some other disorder, which would make it a disabled kid, something always difficult to acknowledge for a parent probably, b) your problems come from them partly failing as parents by raising you somehow in a wrong way, also not nice to think of, c) you are this way because you want to be this way, which doesn't make much sense, but is the easiest solution.

Maybe I'm not, in which I'll need to rethink my entire life.

No, our relationship is pretty much dead. Half a year ago, when i became a bit suicidal and asked her for help she responded by shouting at me, blaming me directly for her miserable life and me beeing "to needy" as a child. We dont talk anymore. She has 1 or 2 mental conditions herself but "ofcourse" is in denial of them and refuses to seek help. She has allways been a workoholic and i spent much of my childhood alone at home. Wich to be fair, i didnt mind back then. I wasnt sad or lonely or anything. But when i bring this up she will allways say that she "only did it for me" and gives me a lecture how hard it was. But in reality she has been this way even before i was born. I would guess that there is some denial of me having anything because she was pregnant 3 times, but lost the other 2 kids. I am the only survivor. When my elemetary teacher brought up the topic of me probably having ADHD in 2002 or 2003 she completely refused even to listen to her. She said "MY child is perfectly healthy" and thats it.

Peace
TK

Linking you to discussion 21 105th or something page. You definitely don't have autism you don't understand sarcasm, then he insinuated that it was BS, then I explained to him that I could either state some resources or show him that I meet all the requirements to get a diagnosis. He never responds to embarrassed that he is so sorely wrong accusation! Steam discussion, Can't go to the specific page, sorry. https://steamcommunity.com/app/306020/d ... 034614929/ it should be in page 21 with 50 results per page.

Oddly, and perhaps tellingly, I only get this from people who have no knowledge of autism.
I speak to anyone even mildly educated on the topic and it's obvious. I was recently a voluntary test subject for an autism research institute, and half way through the tasks, the researcher encouraged me to be part of their exterior adult autism therapies group, because "you really do need some help."
I usually don't mention it unless it's relevant. But since I had another breakdown / shutdown / whatever, am starting to wear a medical alert bracelet. If I am in that situation and nonverbal, I don't want anyone thinking I'm on drugs, concussed, in shock, lost blood, intellectually disabled, or any of the other problems this behaviour can mimick.

I don't interact with a lot of friends physically. (They all pretty much moved away, and so most of my friends are online.) The friends I do have online reacted pretty much like anyone would in real life. I have not been diagnosed, but my family and spouse are coming around to the idea that I may be on the spectrum. When I mention it to some friends, their responses are usually, "But you're too social and outgoing to be autistic." Number one: I learned how to be social by watching other people's responses online and in person. Number two: I'm not outgoing. I'm personable and slap-stick funny.

You just have to keep telling them that it's an invisible / hidden disability. It gets tiring.

[quote="Tiankay"]Yes, my mom does it. While i never have spoken out my suspicion of beeing autistic to her directly, everything is "my own fault". She says "You want to be this way", "You chose this yourself" wich in my understanding means "You dont have anything, you're just a lazy malingerer". Like i want to be a complete social and general failure, like a WANT to be depressed. I often think about that i might be wrong. "Am i making this all up?", "No you can do this and that, you cant be autistic", "What the f**k is wrong with me?" But im not making this all up. I had alot of problems dating back to at least kindergarten days and last week when i had some kind of skill evaluation a psychologist told me he thinks i might be autistic without me even telling him anything of my suspicion. And even then i still ask myself if i have just gone crazy and "talked" myself into it.


HAHA wow I'm starting a lot of us have probably had -that experience- Nope, you are exactly right man. And be aware that one way I think in which we function differently is in 'coping' or 'dealing' with things, this applies to how all other people deal with you. I think there is an inclination to 'deal' with things by making yourself not aware of them (I know how that sounds but humor me a bit longer please). If you bring me a problem I cannot solve, perhaps do not understand and especially if I think I am supposed to understand and solve the problem then whatever 'problem' you brought to me is no longer the 'problem' and I will not address it as such, instead the fact that I cannot address your problem is the 'problem', and I can address that by saying it's not there or that it is not my responsibility to address what is happening. I 'think' this is correct, but I also think that to a large degree in many cases this is also a sort of 'unconscious' mechanism. If it applies to your mother for example, it could be the 'fear' of not giving you what you need ("I dont know what you need" or "if I find out what it is you I don't know if I'll be able to do that"), so don't judge to harsh
regardless of the cause or justification stick to your own thoughts, you're probably right and are ASD. Believe yourself and IN yourself, there are differences and difficulties to overcome. A lot of difficulties will be in the form of how others deal with you, but this is does not reflect on you only on them.





I am so confused and so angry. Wich kid gets tantrums his entire childhood?
haha! ME!

Wich 4-5 year olds parents get daily kindergarten reports if he was "behaving bad today"?
yup, that's us! but lots of others kids with lots of other difficulties as well

Wich 6 year old gets expelled from school on first day for biting his teachers hand in an unclear situation?
unclear situation... sounds like the social connotations leading up to the physical issue, I expect that you were not well represented and unable to represent yourself. This sort of common thing can be a source of frustration as the nature of your world and consequences you must face are being determined by such things: very frustrating, as a kid you don't have a lot of power to act other than your voice and that's 100% social. Hang in there you're doing great


Wich 8 year old kid spends most of his time disassembling all the household electronics to understand how they work?
and you can -never- get them back, there are always "leftovers" (for me anyway) lol, now I'm going to school to become an electrical engineer, keep at it


Wich normal 10 year old sits on the backseat of moms car with this really ugly blue-red dotted seat-decor, asking why he is so different than anybody else?
I know it feels isolating and alone to be so friggin different and have difficulties as a result however I can reassure you on this one, a LOT of 10 year olds do you are at least not at all alone in that

Wich 11 year old is really good at school, in some parts even "too good" for his grade, but still gets expelled for being "socially inappropriate"?
ASD It's your problem I can see that, but when people are telling you you're bad and you have to agree and apologize the best way to protect yourself inside is to REMEMBER in your own mind that it's probably not your fault. Sounds goofey but actually remind yourself, think decoratively in your mind as you think it and even say it out loud where you won't get trouble for doing so later in private or something.




Wich 13 year old spends almost his entire time building computers out of scrap hardware and reading an entire 10 years archive on computer magazines but is unable to form just a "simple" friendship?
a couple of things but probably ASD I'd think, it sure was the case for me


And wich pretty intelligent 22 year young man gets absolutly NOTHING done in his life because he doesnt know how to approach the world?
aah ha! I think I know this one and it scared the hell out of me; it might be a result of unconsciously associating -any- action (the act of trying to make life work) with the pain and consequences that seem to be connected with such actions. This is where some of our common functioning issues come from, it's like friggin PTSD, -exactly- like PTSD but as we have similar problems resulting from similar situations (we are autistic, and people treat us a certain way) these ptsd symptoms are considered 'symptoms or characteristics common to autistic people' but it's just our sensitive minds being predisposed to PTSD and furthermore having the experiences that are common to us.
This is a DYSfunctional mechanism, it's one of the things that happens to us I think. Be positive and if need be take small actions for small things and make that succeed.



If i really just made this autism thing up, then there is an actual metric shit-ton wrong with me! Sorry if i have gone offtopic a little bit but i just cannot understand. She has been with me my entire life and had to deal with my problems too. How can she even say something like that? Whatever it is, it is quite obvious that "something" is and allways was different with me, and i NEVER wanted it to be this way...

Dude, I can list SO many things I thought were wrong with me, but it's all just autism spectrum (and adhd), and when I'm not having trouble with the autism all the problems mostly go away.
Having autism by the way, causes us to develop other aspects of our minds to compensate, we make excellent engineers mathematicians scientists, etc. We are often naturally predisposed to thinking in the manner an engineer tries to think in (some school address this, some colleges do as well).
People will try very hard to convince you that you don't ASD (or anything else they do not understand and do not know how to deal with). Remind yourself that you probably do have asd, GET HELP.... I dunno how, talk to the state? I hope you have a good state. They can teach you things so you can avoid being taken advantage of, can recognize when something is 'wrong', possibly even teach you to take a good guess in some cases as to 'what is wrong'. They can help you learn to avoid situations that are unproductive and to also learn to help make them not even happen sometimes. A normal psychiatrist can't do this, they probably won't have a clue as to what this autism thing is and that might even make them feel threatened from a professional pride point of view. I think your Primary care doctor can give you a referral recommendation for ASD diagnosis; you should check and make and appointment. If the Primary care doc says you don't have autism and dismisses the situation, get a new doctor or you will not receive treatment. Just because he's a doctor does not mean it's functional to assume he will actually do everything a doctor would ideally do.