People normalizing bullying you got as a child

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I am 61 years old and now know better but I am still not assertive enough and fear negative reactions because of long ago bullying.

Yes, I should be more over it but I never would have had "it" to get over if bullying was stigmatized instead of being considered a normal part of growing up as it was during the 60s.

My mum says you can't be racist against people of Irish descent cos they're/we're white.
I grew up in a town with a significant minority of Orangemen. Some of whom death threated me or implied it, some of whom used slurs. One time, Adair came over from Belfast...
In our town there was/is a pub that stockpiled weapons for the UDA or some such. It's still a popular pub. People meet there after parades. It's owned by the same guy he just had stuff confiscated...
I'm obsessed with what happened because (racist or not) it was a big deal. I should have gone to the police after I got threats. Threats in those days were a big deal because they were in person. This was all between the ages of 12 and 14. The vast majority from adult men.

Bullying in general is a big deal but it's really widespread. I think everyone has been bullied and or a bully at some point in their childhood. I was both. I feel really guilty that I never said sorry to the girl I bullied. If I met her now, I would do. I won't excuse it like others would. When someone tells me they were never bullied, NT or aspie alike, I suspect they either were bullies (my stepdad is aspie but he was the bully and he thinks it's funny, sometimes the aspies rise to the top if cleverness is what's prized and if they're athletic. I was never bullied by kids til we moved town cos I was clever and artistic and funny) or were just so aspie/autistic/LD they never picked up on the fact they were being bullied. (In which case it was a moral wrong but harmless, like attempted murder)

Mum's the opposite of yours/OP's, I think. She maximises the 2 years I was bullied and minimises her own. She couldn't talk. She's dyspraxic and couldn't talk til she was a teenager. Everyone picked on her over it. Teachers and kids alike. She didn't have a single friend til sixth form. She's NT so that would hurt her more than it does me although I couldn't cope with that. She also got bullied for being dyslexic. She just talks about this stuff like it was no big deal. I feel like her childhood was really tragic and wish I could go back and protect her.

Even at 43 years of age I still get bullied even to this day. I still haven't figured a way around this or through it but there are some times where I can stand up for myself and assert myself to the degree of fending off these attacks but the entire process is still very excruciating.

Being a guy and being extraordinarily emotional and sensitive are things that other guys can see a mile away and take advantage of. Even now I'm a magnet for this sort of thing.

_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***

ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.

Keep calm and stim away.

To be honest I practically "normalized" it without anyone else because I never said much on it until much later when people asked. Though to me I always felt like bullying was like how in the Simpsons where Bart got beat up after school every now and then. I didn't think daily ridicule was on the same lvl as actual bullying as nonsensical as that sounds.

Was subjected to constant bullying at school and at home throughout my school years and early adulthood. My complaints about it were met by the "normal" people saying it was just normal kid stuff, and I shouldn't let it get to me. This so-called "normal" kid stuff went on almost every minute of every day. I had no "safe" place, except when I was alone, as my siblings were part of the problem. Once I learned to ride a bike, I spent a lot of non-school time alone on my bike. It's a wonder I was never abducted, as I spent so much time outside and going all over the place without any supervision. When home, I spent a lot of time reading by myself, so I quickly became a very good reader. It became apparent to me at an early age that I was better off alone, but it took decades till I was finally able to live alone. Been in that happy state for almost a decade and a half now.

I 'normalized" it myself when I turned 18.

I said "nobody is going to bully me any more. Enough of this kid's stuff!"

I was bullied pretty badly all through the school years, though I was never beaten up really severely. I was a short and fat kid with braces, glasses, and I took everything literally....a "target" if you ever saw one!

I was bullied slightly on a job when I was 18; after that, I reiterated my desire not to be bullied every again!! !!

And I've pretty much succeeded up to this point----though not with some women from my past and my mother.