Over 30's thread.

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I found out about AS a few months before my oldest was diagnosed with Autism, that was in March 2003, he was diagnosed in July 2003 and I came to self-realization of AS for myself around Sept. 2004 and everything went from there.

That's interesting. I read about AS because I was wondering about possible Autism in my son. However, I had also read about AS years ago too and it meant nothing to me then. In my case, it was years of sincere feedback that helped me understand how others see me. Without that I'm not sure I could apply the criteria to myself, or at least not the direct stuff. The secondary aspects (symptomatic stuff) are easy enough to self report on, but how on eath can one know whether or not your voice lacks prosody (for instance) without someone to tell you that first?

Oh I had feedback on a lot of things but people seemed to attribute it off to me being rude or snobby or such. None of which I really saw fully myself but were definitely attributable to AS.

I see. That makes sense. I had years of people telling me that I'm difficult, aloof and arrogant and could never understand why. I suppose it's quite easy to plug those in to help with self dx.

To be honest, I'm still not sure what those things mean - but I'm reliably informed that's how I come across!

I have always been interested in autism and one day stumbled across AS when reading about autism. I knew it related to me because:
1. it related to my dad and I am a lot like him
2. I had a good friend that was open enough over the past 16 years to help me in the NT world so I was more aware of how I come accross - I had her read about AS and she told me it was me. (She is a sociologist)
3. I was working with a Dr. that was very involved in these types of issues and I discussed this with her so I had a clinical viewpoint from someone that had worked with me for a year.

i had some training in working with kids with ASD, particularly AS, about 10 years ago. i found it fascinating, frankly, and continued to study it myself.

then, in 2002, i started seeing a bloke who i was convinced has AS (i determined this within a couple of months of knowing him), and so i started to look at AS in adults which - to my mind - is a very different kettle of fish, especially if the adult has managed to get through an almost "normal" life until their 30s.

the more i studied it, the more i recognised myself, until, just over a year ago, i decided that i definitely have AS, and joined WP.

now i knowwhy i have never fitted in, always eat with a spoon, can't abide bright lighting, have the emotional development of a teenager (at best), etc., etc., etc.

That's a thought I'd had going round in my head too. Adult AS is very different in how it affects the individual as compared to children and teenagers. Hardly surprising really as NT adults are so different to their younger selves too.

It does cause some confusion though when blanket descriptions of AS behaviour or typical impairments do not apply at all or in the same way to adults.

I really think that the whole focus on developmental aspects means that the issues affecting AS adults are being largely ignored. There needs to be more work done on how we react to and grow beyond our limitations. For instance, most AS adults can do the Sally-Ann test ( I believe) so there is clearly a need to differentiate between age groups to understand adaption and maturation with AS. On the other side, how much is really known about how the positive traits of AS can benefit the adult too?

My 2p worth.

Oh, no! I'm turning 31 this month and my name isn't on the Nursing Home list!

I took an interest in AS, partly as many of the experiences others have reported on it bear such close resemblance to my aspects of my own childhood.

I'm not wholly convinced about it though, which is why I have also been taking an interest in the DSM-IV PD's, which also appear to have applicability to me though more so the SPD/BPD/AvPD ones than any of the others.

Reading up on SPD recently, I have noticed the amazing similarities between aspects of that and AS. In fact, in some regards, the two constructs often seem interchangeable, on the basis of how they're written about. This has given me pause for thought, since it from the sites I have been reading and the professionals (Psychodynamic therapists), who write about it, AS/ASD never seems to be mentioned. This seems to be a glaring omission in the knowledge of these health professionals, unless of course, they subscribe to the view that AS/ASD is a DSM-IV-type PD masquerading as something else.

One of the reasons I am still considering AS is that having done 4.5 years of therapy 20+ years ago, it has done very little to help me. I therefore question the efficacy of the proposed 'solution' to a PD-type disorder (that of psychodynamic therapy). After all, just how long could a minor hiccup in nurturing continue to affect someone's life? It seems to me that the ideology around such therapy is based on individuals accepting 'personal responsibility' for everything that goes wrong in their life and I can see the attraction to that in some ways. I perceive a strong lineage between the Judeo-Christian moral framework and that of psychoanalysis.

Unfortunately, living in the UK, it is unlikely I would even be able to get a PD-type diagnosis, much less an AS one at this stage in my life.

Am I allowed to join in, or do I have to wait until I turn 30 in January?

You can be an 'honorary fogey' if you wish, but that means putting away all your copies of FHM/Loaded/GQ, your Sony Playstation, going to Stag Parties/Weekends, playing drunken practical jokes on your mates, etc - or does it? I forgot that plenty of men in my age range and above still do all that stuff.

pmsl... thanks for the stereotype

I don't do any of those things.... (except the PlayStation, and Xbox) Am I allowed to carry on staying up until 3am playing computer games, watching Cartoon Network and reading Kerrang! though?

Ack! Infiltrated by youngsters!



I still do this, and I'm positively fossilised in comparison. I'm more a Beano reader, however.



There seem to be two things to me that matter about a formal or "accurate" DX (whatever that means!). Firstly, there's the self acceptance part - "ah, so that explains everything that I am". Secondly, there's the practical implication - "ah, so perhaps I should try to do things in a different way".

I'm 38, so getting a diagnosis is non-trivial and questionable as to its value. While it would help make me more comfortable about why I am the way I am, I don't think it would much practical difference in day to day life (this would not have been true in my teens or twenties - or Duncvis age - however).

I have found reading about AS and sites like this extremely valuable. Even if I do not qualify for a formal AS DX, enough of my experience is close enough that I can and have benefited greately from reading and learning about other people's experiences. Some things make sense to me, others do not, and I try to be selective in what I take away and understand. The same is true of any other label, such as ADD or BPD, both of which could also apply to me.

My only concern is that by reading and participating in groups like WP I risk emphasising AS characteristics in my personality, and I don't really know how to resolve that problem short of living in a permanent state of isolation. My partner helps here, but he has noted that since learning about AS I have become slightly 'worse' in my behaviour. Incidently, he seems much more certain of my AS behaviours than I am, and I think his understanding of this is the main reason that we have manged to survive together as a couple.

Everything you have said makes sense. I would argue however, that a formal or accurate dx would go quite some way towards removing the ambiguity and uncertainty. Of course, a 'skilled operator' who had an ulterior motive for obtaining a 'spurious' official dx may learn enough to know how to 'fake' it, though I see no benefit in doing such a thing. The point behind seeking formal assessment is to clarify matters, since even a negative confirmation would be insight of a kind. For example, if a balanced assessment/diagnosis could categorically discount the possibility of AS then that would open up the possibility of exploring alternatives.

Also, the point about a late dx is that it could be both explanatory and a possible insight into finding ways of doing things differently, so that problems can be worked around, on the basis of genuine knowledge and insight, rather than re-raking over alleged 'past incidents' fruitlessly.

You make an interesting point about emphasis of AS behaviours subsequent to learning about the condition. I have been accused of that by my brother, who has had a bit of a 'falling out' with me around issues pertaining to this alleged state of affairs. In fact, his girlfriend apparently said that I had 'become much worse' since she 'knew' me; this 'knowing' deriving from 6 or 7 fairly heavy drinking sessions over the course of 3 months or so. I have therefore asked him to disregard what I have mentioned about AS and suggested on more than one occasion that I very likely could be entirely wrong about it. As regards the issue of living nearly in isolation, I tend to do that anyway (largely as a matter of choice, to tell the truth). I suspect this latter point is to do with the fact that whether I am SPD/BPD or AS, I no longer feel that I need to try to live up to being something that I am not.

bugger off, sprog!

Logically, to me a DX is unnecessary. Yet I still seem to have an irrational need to know, even if that knowledge is still uncertain and does not change what I do. I find this unsettling, as I should be able to deal with things myself (heck, I've got this far without formal help).

I don't know about raking over past incidents. I did quite a lot of that when first trying to understand AS. But now I think I have very a specific understanding about aspects of my behaviour that I would like/need to change, mostly around developing perception of other people. I do not know if this is possible, but I wouldn't accept anyone telling me it was impossible unless I had really tried.

What has been a tad scarey in learning about AS is gradually learning about mind blindness, learning from my partner and various counsellors that people have some kind of emotional empathy when talking and don't just listen to the words, and that this is often as important as what is said. I find it unsettling that I am 38 years old and have only recently come to understand this, that my view and understanding of and interaction in the social world is so different from that of most other people. I am normally incredibly precise and correct and I have some considerable difficulty accepting that my view of the world may have been wrong and that there is some intrinsic part of communication that I just do not perceive.

I'm not worried about becoming a 'skilled operator' for AS - as you say, why would anyone want to do that? I'm more worried about implicit takeup of AS characteristics, much like Woody Allen's Zelig character would pickup the characteristics of those around him.

I would say that I'm now projecting a false persona less, and being more direct with people about how to deal with me and how I will deal with them. This has actually been incredibly liberating and even if this means I seem more AS, I am more comfortable interacting with people and (ironically) it seems to help make those interactions less difficult for everyone.