"You Don't Look Autistic"

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mm i didint even know that there were autism or asperger before i got diagnosed at age of 12

Yeah, it's like "You don't LOOK like a ret*d." or "You don't LOOK like a gimp." Take it as a compliment.

I don't tell people about my AS because I'm afraid people will deny it because I look "very pretty". People tend to think of aspies as geeky looking and anybody who doesn't wear glasses and looks like a physics teacher can't be autistic.

I have kind of had this experience, though i haven't been diagnosed with asperger's i told somebody and they did say "you don't look autistic". I didn't know what t say at this point. It was kind of annoying.

Tell them Darryl Hannah is Autistic.

A couple weeks ago my therapist said I don't have AS because I look like I could be a model. I posted a thread.

that is crap,sounds like they've not had enough experience with asds [if any].
am was once told by a specialist at the walton neuro institute am did not have trigeminal neuralgia because was too young as the stereotype with TN is people in fifties and sixties,another specialist said it was classic TN,just because something might be less common or rare in a condition,illness or disease,it doesn't mean it cannot and has not happened,if they bothered to get more experience in them they would find this out.
just because someone looks like a model does not mean they cannot have an ASD,sister also looks like a model and she is definitely on the spectrum [aspie],though would think she would probably get the same ignorance from specialists as self has to if she ever wants to get diagnosed.

it's a good thing that unlike that therapist, not all specialists relie on stereotypes for diagnosis, otherwise only auties would get diagnosed with classic autism if they had profound autism with obvious MR and only aspies would get diagnosed with AS if they were computer,maths and science geeks.


as for the original topic.
as an 'obvious autistic',am dont get much of an easier deal with this, some ignorant staff have said am not autistic
because am never like certain staff to go at the end of their shift and will lie on the floor and wrap around their legs to not let them go, am also mess around with their things a lot,but with anyone else it is like they do not exist.
they say this means am not autistic as all autistics do the opposite with people [completely ignoring what am like with everyone apart from favourite staff who have been in long term routine]-they say am should 'be greatful for being so mild' because not everyone is able to make friends as easily as am-am have wanted to know where they got this one from because am have never had friends or had want for them,speech therapist had said am very easy going and easily accepting of others differences,not the same thing as being sociable.
even so,am know of autists on this forum who say they are very sociable and need human contact a lot,is more proof that stereotypes in autism and as just don't work.

I spent a lot of time in recent years at university and then in research institutions as a scientist. My behaviour is "normal" mostly. In my profession my colleaugues actually like it if your a bit weird or excitable. Its seen as a sign of intelligence. I had to mentor my supervisor.

I've received mixed messages my entire life about whether or not I'm 'normal'.

My family always pegged me as the 'wierd' one in the family (extended), but after my diagnosis my Mother tried to tell me that *I* was the one that pointed out I was different The fact that nobody wanted to speak to me because they were afraid they'd trigger a monologue about the X-Files or the latest astronomical event, or worse, just not understand what I was saying because my vocabulary was too big and my thought patterns were a tad eccentric...that didn't make them think I was wierd at all (<<<that was sarcasm)

My Mother recently informed me that "it's not that you Dad doesn't love you, he just finds you annoying and embarrassing because he never knows what you're going to do or say next".

They say that I only 'developed' AS symptoms AFTER my daughter was diagnosed a year ago. Then they say that they never saw Hannah as being different because I was exactly the same as her as a child!

I get very confused by all of this.

I don't tell most people at uni because I literally exhaust myself by monitoring myself closely to stop anything appearing that may indicate AS. I'm not always successful, and I have had a bad flappy moment (ended in a meltdown at home) at university when they asked us to move seats in the lecture theatre.

Most of my friends know, but are quite happy to continue thinking that I'm 'wierd'. The friends who have children with AS/Autism have said that they knew the moment they saw me and that my later behaviours in front of them just confirmed it for them. I have one friend who really enjoys messing up my organised little world. She likes to see me become distressed and try to hold back the instinctive reactions.

My Asperger or whatever is not anybody's business... I don't care about if they think that I look autistic or not, actually happened lately that I don't really believe that people often think about anything... I feel that they are all automata most of their time: they do their jobs, copulate, raise children,... nothing like consciousness happens there... maybe... or I am a better solipsist each day...

I think NT's get confused and think autistic people look like those with Downs Syndrome as in the mongoloid features. (sp?)

I can tell by looking if someone is an Aspie, but that's because I KNOW what to look for. ie: eyes looking at the ground instead of in someone's face, weird body language and flailing hands, repetitive movements, turning away from conversations and walking off to name a few

Also I notice a lot of the Aspies I have met have big bulging foreheads. I used to have this as a kid, but do not anymore though so maybe it doesn't apply to all AS people.

yes- i have this too.
because i only heard about asp's in march (until then diagnosed w ocd, adhd, pd etc etc) i grew up having to hide my 'oddness' as much as possible. i am now 35.
so though im happy to finally discover exactly what is the matter with me, i dont feel able to tell people becasue they will think im making it up, trying to get attention etc- if you hear 'autism' there is a pre-concieved idea of what a person with it will appear as- no eye contact, closed off etc.
i seem fairly well controlled because ive learnt to look people in the eye as i speak etc- what they dont see is me depressed after a day in someon's company, or shuddering from certain touches- fabric, or light touch, or running into a shop to ask for scissors to cut a label from a top etc.
other displays of aspie behaviour- inapproiate conversations etc- are put down to being weird and rude; because this kind of stuff is not mentioned so much in descriptions of asp's (it is, but way down).

so in fact, not looking like i have a form of autism is a pain, as im pretty much back to square one...
im weird- and noone would believe me if i told them why.

I did notice at an AS meeting that a number of Aspies have food stains on their shirt. No doubt a sign of our clumsiness. I was one of them. I also noticed dressing up to an Aspie seems to mean wearing a polo shirt buttoned to the top. Which I also found funny. I was one of those people too.

they usually say that or "You don't seem autistic." people typically give me odd looks when i tell them or sometimes they treat slightly different after i tell them. sigh...i'm just not good with judging emotions so i'm not sure what they think of me...

Oh my gosh, this happens to me all the time and it pisses me off!

Once, at a doctor's apointment, my mom informed the Dr. that I had autism and he looked at me and said "She looks okay"
Then he proceaded to talk only to my mother about things I could have easily answered.

I may say I have executive dysfunction...I may refer vaguely to my particular akward way of being....One of the few times i have brought up mention of AS to someone who I thought I coud be comfortable telling..she practicly laughed in my face..and it was a pretty harsh blow...and I didn't even say I had AS, I said that I identified wth people who did

i may not be an aspie(because I am not diagnosed), but I am pretty sure I am a PDD-somethingorother.....and it is always rather insulting to have people (who have not had to be me) give me some kind of lecture about how...despite my years of developmental and sensory problems....that does not mean that there needs to be any sort of lable that I can place on it.... I don't know why it bothers me but it does......


But in general...once people get to know me, they are generally not apt to dispute that there is something "up" with me...

And then there are the people who won't dispute it...but will treat me differently after I bring it up...it is extra-fun when these people are at least 10 years younger than me...and sorta start talking to me like I am a kid.