Individuals wishing to be afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome

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I've never actually met anyone like that.

Certainly I know stupid people who decide they have it because they don't like fluorescent lights or they once took something too literally, but no, I don't know anyone who wants to have it for purposes of self understanding.

threads like theses are a big reason why I don't post here much. I already generally feel "less than", and don't really need to feel more of that from people I may or may not be (but more than likely am) just like.

i haven't gotten DX'ed yet due to the insurance angle, and my father won't support me getting one because I'll never get health insurance if I do get DX'ed (completely overlooking the fact that I've had my own health insurance all of one year in my adult life!). My mom definitely thinks that what she and my early childhood teachers observed would indicate that I do have Aspergers. She's been pushing hard for me to seek out help, but thus far there doesn't seem to be any networks of groups for AS people in the southeast that will help me find any solutions (the closest ASA - 4.5 hours away - hasn't been able to help me, and I've called several times).

I'm OK without a DX, but at the same time I don't and haven't told anyone outside of my direct family and 2 close friends. I'm not out there telling everyone I know anything about this potential until I know for sure, and that's more than likely not going to happen. I hadn't told anyone about this when I first thought I might have Aspergers almost 10 years ago, and haven't said much to anyone since I finally came to terms with this possibility just a few months ago. I didn't even mention it to my family until I asked about my childhood with some vague questions about what I was like as a kid (mom confirmed I didn't have any speech delays, was quite advanced compared to the other kids my age, but was noted by teachers to be severely behind in social skills).

I don't want something to blame my problems on, I want to find those problems, and work on them as much as I can so I can lead some sort of meaningful life (or at least to the absolute best of my ability/potential). I don't think this is such a wrong thing to want, while still being "self-diagnosed".

Because it comes up over and over again ad nauseum. Why are some people so obsessed with bringing it up? (especially people with really low post counts...)

One can speculate about people's motivations all day long and in the end it can turn out to be much more about themsevles than the people they're wondering about.

So how about the motivations of the diagnosed who get obsessed over self-ID/sef-dx? I will wildly speculate: maybe they've been recently dx'ed, but haven't done their homework or met enough other people with ASC's to see or understand how vastly different people's presentations can be. And maybe the offical dx gives them a false sense of certainty that they know what the 'essence' of autism is -- when in reality they just have their personality traits and particular presentation confused with it, so they think that anyone who doesn't have their presentation is deluded. Then maybe they do some reading, and use everything they find to make the case that ASD people typically do have their exact presenation and that there's just a lot of fakers in the world.

Or maybe it infringes on their sense of having suffered. No one who is not worthy may defile their pain. Fair enough, but people can have a hard time even seeing each other's experiences normally, especially with a 10-30 year age gap. One person may be suffering under the weight of a stigmatizing label, another may be suffering for not having had a label for 20+ years. It will likely be hard for those people to see each other's problems.

Someone mentioned somewhere turning this subject into a sticky thread -- maybe that's a good idea.

All this subject seems to do is depress/upset and likely drive away people who might be helped by being here. Sure there's going to be some deluded people, but also some who are not, and could really use the help they could get here. Which is more important to you?

I have an NT friend who says he constantly wishes he could be me/see things the way I see them (although he doesn't pretend to be AS or anything).

I understand though - I think because my perspective is so foreign to him and he's curious. He also really wants to know what it's like to have my visual, tactile, and auditory sensitivity, like my focus on detail, and stuff like that. I don't feel offended by it.

You're lucky. My husband never wonders what its like to have AS or even wishes he could have for just once to see what it's like. He thinks my life is confusing and hard. He says he used to be a lot like me and then he learned.

I don't find my life confusing or hard. It all feels normal to me.

I have a friend who is like this.
She's just smart and she has no problem socializing.
The only real aspie trait of hers is always correcting people but that could also just be her.

Like she always looks for little things to notice and then she says "I just notice these things." Almost as if she had just read the wikipedia article for aspergers and just acted how the article described it... "tendency to notice small details."

And she offend goes on and on about the most random things.

I'm thinking she took the wiki article literally

Being that autism is not very well understood, what exactly constitutes proper interrogation? What the professionals currently agree are the dividing lines? Maybe so, but that doesn't mean someone who slightly "falls short" of said line is completely unautistic (for lack of a better term). Even the professionals will tell you that.


No, actually, though this is clearly wishful thinking on your part.

For the record, I am probably one of those people who would fit on the "mild" end of the spectrum without a professional diagnosis. In fact, maybe I was simply one of those late bloomers you previously alluded to. I would be okay with that, in fact. I do not cling to an AS label. I come here because I find the discourse entertaining, and I can relate to many of the things described here. That's it for me.

I think it's mere speculation on your part, however, that being a late bloomer is mutually exclusive to autistic traits. As far as I know, there is no official criteria to determine if someone is a late bloomer or just a "pretend" late bloomer. Nor is there one for a highly sensitive person, gifted individual, etc. So be careful where you are trying to draw your lines. They're implicitly much fuzzier than you realize. It's really tempting (and probably human nature) to categorize things beyond a doubt. We can't do this with autism yet. No one can.

I think tomhardly is right about much he says.
If you haven't got a Dx it's very subjective. I heavily suspect I have something but we'll see what happens when the examination is due.

I'm guessing a problem can be that so many different symptoms are lumped together from a lack of qualitative knowledge, which isn't strange since it's new science. So if a person has alot of sensoratory problems and difficulties registering other people, I could agree it doesn't have to be AS, but there's definately something.

It's already been said that it's not good to be dead sure about having a particular disorder since it could muddle the results and have you subconsciously fulfilling the criteria.
I just know that something is very off with me, it was visible to everyone when I was younger and everybody suggested different things. When I learned about AS, I saw that it made sense and it really helped me contextualise and get a grip on things. It would be horrible if I've been deluding myself, because that would imply I'm now more messed up than ever before.

I fear the results, but I'll accept whatever comes, but then it's up to them to figure out how the hell to get me back on track!

Hello, I'm new to the site and have not been diagnosed with Aspergers but most of the symptoms fit, of course I'm not going around telling every one that I have Aspergers because Aspergers Syndrome is a diagnosis made by professionals, Therefore I can't say I have Aspergers, Even if I wanted to I know that it would not make a difference so much as to how people treat me. I do understand that some people without the professional around for guidance could allow themselves to believe or want to believe that Aspergers is what they live with, Their are also people who have been diagnosed with it and don't really have it, but I think at the end of the day we are all searching for peace within ourselves. Anyone who spends any of their time looking for other peoples flaws can't fix their own, We are all here because we at least recognize that we have a problem whether we were looking so hard that we convinced ourselves that we have the wrong problem or let a proffessional convince us that we have the wrong problem. I'm sure this thread began with good intentions HOPE SO! but I'm sure their are people who spend time on these boards questioning others motives, I think those are the people who's motives need to be questioned.
Later

There are a lot of people out there who feel like they just don't fit in anywhere. They feel alone. They may have a lot of traits similar to aspergers, read a little and finally feel part of a group, people who can relate. They may start to believe they have it because that is far better than continuing to feel completely alone. Then telling people they believe they have aspergers helps to validate for them and give the world a reason why they act certain ways, feel certain way, have difficulty in certain areas of life. They believe they have it - some do, some don't.

People may have a few other diagnosis' separate from AS but could mimic AS traits or overlap: AS, bipolor, anxiety, communication disorder, sensory issues, nonverbal learning disorder (HUGE ONE), etc. Sometimes the compilation of those disorders may seem like AS but they are still separate from AS. You can also have those dx in addition to having AS. It seems to get convoluted thus sometimes blurring the line between dx. The combination of the disorders may make social skills difficult and sometimes hard to understand. I can see someone saying that they suddenly got irritable or angry (changed moods) because they are AS such as in situations that involved transition, change, sensory, social, etc. Similar triggers different disorders. Most people out there relate "difficulty with change" to AS and not bipolar or ADHD so they are more apt understand "Oh, that person is AS that's why".

I am not AS but do have traits primarily due to my ADHD, anxiety, sensory issues, fine motor problems, etc (semantic pragmatic disorder - possible) . I also have a learning disability (I actually made it through grad school and I was severe - beauty of intense interest and hyperfocus). In fact, I have found a home on here. I have similar social difficulties such as understanding social cues as a lot of people here. Perhaps not exactly the same as AS. Son AS, husband undx. Do I read these forums and often wonder? Yes. It's hard not to when you found a virtual home and people who understand. Do I have to keep myself in check? Yes. I have to remember it's about meeting people whom I can relate to not about a dx. Most of my friends have traits of AS, especially in college - probably because I am from the seattle area LOL

I have two coworkers who think they are on the spectrum but when they say it, it is more like a "I wonder if". after talking with them several times I can see why they are saying what they say. They do have similar traits and the difficulties they have are easily compiled into the dx of AS. They just wouldn't fit the whole criteria. They are not on the spectrum, though. I feel that it's just personality traits- Type A, OCD types who dont' like change. Perhaps it's working in special ed that causes them to say what they say. They see kids who are dx with it and can relate to a lot of their struggles.

I am a school psychologist which is probably the reason why people tell me things. It's like they want confirmation, which I am not going to give it to them.

There is another special ed teacher who was labeled as being on the spectrum by supervisors. The people who told me were a principal and two coworkers. It kind of bothered me that they were even saying that to me. I truly like this teacher and dont' understand why others were having difficulties, In fact, she was the easiest one for me to work with because of her great, direct communication style. This teacher later confided in me about what other people were saying and what her friends have also said. She had a minor breakdown. The school staff say they think she is it because she lacks social skills and social awareness and is sometimes inflexible. When I asked her if that's what she thinks she has,she said, " I don't know. I didn't think so but so many people think I have it." I told her my opinion but it all depended on what she feels. She is analytical and is one of the best spectial ed teachers for preschool children who are on the spectrum. She is pretty much an expert in that area.

She doesn't understand why she has difficulties with her coworkers, especially the teachers aides. I think the difficulties are because a lot of the people she works (the teacher's aides) are strongly "emotion" and "relationship" type of people and she is analytical. She wants to get the job done and doesn't sugar coat and ask people nicely. She is just to the point. . Were were in meeting with some of the special ed staff and she said to me, "How come you didn't get this done" something like that. I was then completely blunt and to the point with her - we both were frustrated with each other. Itended...later we talked about it and it honestly didn't bother us. We got it out and resolved it. I guess the rest of the team just focused on feelings and disbelief on why she would do that. they blamed her and asked me how I felt. So, perhaps they used that as well to confirm their beliefs that she is AS

Another principal told me that a certain school counselor is probably on the spectrum because of certain mannerisms, difficulty with change and some social skills difficulties. This person may or may not be on the spectrum. I don't know. This is the "maybe" one. It could be her personality and perhaps something else. Regardless, it's just another example at how society is putting people with certain characteristics into the category of autism

So, I am a bit frustrated at how much it is getting thrown around in the school arena. I am a psychologist and I hear it once a week pertaining to a coworker or parent because that person has particular traits.. Seriously at least once a week. I most frequently hear it when an individual has difficulties with social skills or communication, changes, ups and downs due to changes, type A personality, inflexible.


I love what altonjr had to say,
"I think at the end of the day we are all searching for peace within ourselves." Beautifully said. The whole paragraph was well state

Also, I honestly don't believe that a dx is perfect either. I work in the school system and have come across certain children who went to a psychologist or developmental pediatrician who really should have been dx but weren't. There are a few that we question but don't question to the point of not giving services or things they need. We still treat it as a dx. You may go to one professional and get a dx whereas another professional would not (or vise versa).

So, the problem for me is not iwth the people who say they are AS. To me, that doesn't even matter. If they have found a home and people to relate to, then fine. Most people are not going to say they are AS for attention. Even the two teachers who think they could be are not doing it for attention. They are trying to figure out themselves and perhaps this is one process. Everyone just wants to figure themselves out and some people do that by providing labels, especially the ones who are more of the organized ones.

It's the rest of society who clumps certain people with certain characteristics that's becoming the problem.

Last edited by natesmom on 30 Dec 2009, 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well-put...

I wonder what it would be like if I went to school today instead of in a time when ADD and AS were unheard of...

I wonder what it is like in my old school district now..and whether or not the officials ever became ADD/AS assessment-happy....

I see a lot of ADHD happy.
In my experience, the AS label gets thrown around by people to describe themselves, coworkers or parents with certain traits.
It is something that should be thrown around flippantly. They way it's done would probably make most on here pretty frustrated and/or upset. The interesting thing is that most of the people who are throwing around the label honestly think they are right about that person. The say it as if it's fact.

This topic is quite interesting, as I myself would fall into the category of "idiotic Asperger's label pining individual".

My reason for "wanting" to have AS is merely a want for answers to my peculiar life, my incompetencies, as well as the identity-stabilizing aspect of labeling yourself or fitting yourself into a reference-frame.

Though using a bit of deduction I find it increasingly unlikely that AS is my particular affliction despite a certain number of "autistic traits" that I possess.
My main reason for rejecting the AS label is me not behaving anti-socially enough. I'm quite a pleasant individual I would like to think, and I loathe anger or expression of anger immeasurably. It's just disturbing that despite my docility and compliant nature I couldn't function socially in the slightest even if my very life depended on it.
If anything many here seem more socially competent than I because you project and express yourself externally whereas I am unable to do so and can't form any kind of relationship as I almost exclusively exist internally.
An Attachment Disorder or CPTSD seems to be the culprit.

In conclusion: Self-deception is self-defeating; truth and understanding is everything, and may we obtain the truth in all things (and may I stop being a pompous ass).

PS. Kudos to the OP for his convoluted language style.

I wonder that of myself. I wonder if, just because everything seems to 'fit' and I can acknowledge the experiences of others are the same as my own, if that means that I have the same syndrome as they do.

Figuring out other people has always seemed a seriously complex equation. Sometimes I understand the answer and sometimes I don't. The same feeling is happening now. So many pieces of the puzzle fit - but do they all fit? Do they all need to fit? Is this, finally, my niche? Or am I never actually going to find a niche because, as I was convinced, I won't ever fit in anywhere?

Honestly, I don't know. Sometimes I think, despite being able to get A+'s in college and being able to skip grades in high school, I don't know anything.

The whole world is confusing to me. I give myself headaches trying to understand it all. So hey, if I don't fit in here as well; so sorry. I'm used to the rejection. I'll get over it eventually.

When I first started thinking I may have aspergers, I though that maby I was doing this, but I kept noticing more and more and more traits of the real thing within myself, and I did that autism quotient test and scored quite highly... and talked about it with a freind who has aspergers diagnosed, and we came to the conclusion that I probably do have it...

I joined an Asperger's support group recently. The first time I attended a meeting, when I walked into the room, immediately, for the first time in my life, I felt I was with my own species. I felt completely safe and at ease.

Everyone in the group has been totally supportive and accepting of me. I've been totally forthcoming in telling them I'm in the process of getting diagnosed, and some of the others also are. I shared with them that my strong suspicions of having Asperger's come from a lifelong pattern of behavior and problems arising from that behavior.

People here have mentioned "wannabe" Aspies who think it cool, or something like that, to be an Aspie. I'm sure there are people like that walking around, and they aren't Aspies. But I only know this. In the time I've been attending my support group, I have never once met someone there who was a "wannabe"--someone raising their hand in the air and going, <Oooh, me, me too! Einstein was an Aspie! I want to be an Aspie too! That would be so cool!> I hear people who have been having a hard time in life (one woman was fired from 15 jobs in 25 years), and they want answers. They've studied how Asperger's manifests itself, and they see that pattern in their lives. A realization has hit us--there is some incident (as there was with me), that makes a light go on, and we recognize Asperger's in ourselves. I can only speak for myself. I am hungry for the resources and support I need to learn how to navigate the neurotypical world, where the concept of neurodiversity is as foreign as a language from another planet would be.

I've been seeing Asperger's tendencies in myself for years, but I thought they were just that, tendencies. I wasn't in denial, I just didn't want to jump to conclusions. I just knew I was different.

Recently I went through about a year of bullying from a housemate who no longer lives with me. When I called that person on their behavior and demanded that it stop, I handled it very badly. But as unbelievably badly as I handled it, I didn't see it at all. When someone else pointed it out to me, I thought it over, and realized my way of confronting the bully was way over the top, and it screamed Asperger's. That was when I started studying Asperger's in depth, and I joined the support group. I'm seeing that I've had Asperger's behavior all my life--not just tendencies.

I just ask that when you hear of someone who is "self-diagnosed," please don't jump to the conclusion that they're a "wannabe Aspie." If it's someone who is in your life regularly, you can observe them and judge whether or not they're a "wannabe."