Aspie Girls Awkwardness

Post Reply New Topic

Well, I am very clumsy and awkward physically AND in conversation, even for a teenager, but most people at school don't seem to think there's anything wrong with me, they just think of me as a very awkward person, though apparently it's in a 'cute' way and people just assume I'm shy

People usually notice pretty quickly that I'm not what they would consider normal.

I know what you mean.

I can only speak as a suspected aspie, but I always had a lot of facades. Not really a lot that I would use at the same time, but I could be a totally different person from one year to the next, I definitely underwent some major reprogramming 4 or 5 times throughout my teens and early 20s.

From what I've seen on the site, it does seem true that Aspie males have more difficulty putting on a facade and faking anything, but some Aspie females can't do it either.

If you can't do it, don't try too hard. It got me to a very difficult and confusing place in life eventually, anyway. I feel like I've lived as 4 or 5 different people and NONE of them were me, after I dropped all of the acts I realized I had nothing in common with most of the people I had picked up over the years.

Aspie girls are not awkward. We sit around looking pretty and all good things come to us.

I think I may be misdiagnosed because I have been sitting here looking as gorgeous as I can for over half an hour and not one person has given me a grand piano or begged me to marry them.

People tell me I pass quite well most of the time, but in my own body, I don't feel like I do. I work really hard to fit in and not say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, but I'm always doing something stupid or saying something stupid. Most of the time I try to avoid people because it's awkward. I know I'm different no matter what I do. As a kid I was really lonely most of the time and was taken advantage of by others (I still am most of the time, it's like a have a constant bullseye painted on me).

Okay, I get it now, aspergers in females basically means you're shy and awkward but you're still essentially normal. Stop crying over it and just get out there and socialize. There's plenty of other shy, awkward females out there who have the same problems as you, you know.

I come across as very shy and sweet. My philosophy has been that if I don't say anything I can't do it wrong and that has helped me blend in. If am feeling bad I slink off to be on my own. I mimic people a lot and look to see how they are reacting. I try not to stand out. If you do NT things like dress in the correct way, know about a few general things and reel out some learnt social skills you can do quite well. I am slightly clumsy but it fits into a NT level. It tends to come out more if I am nervous and my husband is aware I am constantly breaking things even though I try to be careful.
The diagnosis has helped as now I know what I am dealing with. I quite often get into confused situations where the other person misunderstands me. NT have misunderstandings but just not as much. I also have humour, if I say certain things they make NT laugh and I say quite a lot of aspie things as a joke.

You wouldnt know that Im an aspie by looking at me. I look pretty normal. I can ACT normal sometimes too. People kind of see me as the shy girl.

I think that despite being female, few people think I look normal when I'm wearing earplugs, clutching my laptop to my chest, sitting in a corner rocking (or when I'm sobbing, hiding in a corner, incredibly stiff, and rocking having left a game after snapping over something people were unable to identify.

Being female, and even having people using the label 'cute' with me doesn't make me suddenly look normal to people.

(A note on the word cute: At least with the people I associate with, 'cute' tends to not at all refer to things like pink and girly, it tends to be associated with innocence and seeming younger in particular in relation to me. How I present myself apparently is that despite growing up, I didn't lose the innocence associated with childhood. I also somehow manage to both physically look and use mannerisms that make me seem a few years younger according to people I know who are always surprised when they remember I can legally drink. )

I can relate to this. All my life I feel like I've been imitating people to get by. I often feel like a chameleon that changes to fit different situations.

My earliest memory of doing this was at kindergarten. I remember being uninterested in most of the games. It was an alien environment and I didn't know what I was supposed to do there. I looked at other kids playing together. On my own, I picked up toys to make believe I was playing too... because that's what the other kids were doing.
I kept an eye on them, thinking to myself "ok, so this is what I have to do". Then after a while of making believe I was playing with a game, I wondered if I should move on to another game because I saw the other kids move on from one game to another. And I remember thinking "have I been playing with this game long enough to look like I'm playing? Is it time to move on? I'm not sure, I'll stick with this one a bit longer. Oh ok, now I think it's time to change game.". I don't think it's normal for a 5 year old to act this way, but no one knew what was going on in my head. To the adults around me, I looked like I was playing and enjoying myself.

I've always been awkward though... growing up, people realised something was 'wrong' with me... but I think I made it look like shyness / anxiety / introversion rather than AS. Also, I was practically mute at school so I was invisible. And I had very good grades so most teachers chose not to worry about the social issues.

Also, a big turning point in terms of hiding my difficulties was when I started taking an interest in clothes, make up, etc... in my early 20's. I look 'pretty and normal' to others, therefore they think I'm relatively 'normal'.

I'm not officially diagnosed with AS though, so maybe what I have to say doesn't count...

I don't act awkward. I just look awkward all the time, and apparently I give off the wrong body language all the time, and knowing this has made my social confidence sink even lower, now I'm constantly trapped in a whirlwind of conscious, paranoid thoughts when I'm out, and I now try to avoid social situations because of it.

I've always been seen as different because I'm intelligent, shy, clumsy and eccentric it took till the age of 17 to be diagnosed because I can kind of fake it but when I open my mouth well out pours the long science monologues and monotone voice that's far too loud, but when I was speaking to the special Ed teacher at my high school after I was diagnosed he said if he had met me before he would have rung my mother up to tell her to get me diagnosed, but some people at uni don't notice I'm that odd because I've trained myself to be a bit more socially appropriate so I can make friends, but in primary school I didn't talk except to ask to go to the toilet none of my teachers thought anything of it O_o