I have a question to ask autistic people

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I loved a guy deeply..but i parted ways with him..he knows me very well.My life used to be happy when i was with him..Nowadays i have trouble expressing my feelings

^^^welcome to WP, Kavya

Thanks, blabby

Nowadays all i think is about my boyfriend jayadev..he is on the spectrum but i think he has high-functioning autism

Exactly that! I know what to do..still have no clue how to do it

These things are difficult to distinguish, indeed.

i could feel empathetic being a girl but my if my sensory overload is high i experience outburst

You child could end up making great strides. I've read stories from many WPers who started out lower on the spectrum who now function as aspies.

My own experience is mostly like BirdInFlight, but I also have trouble feeling emotionally connected to people, which makes things worse. I don't love people, but sometimes do like them. I used to be able to have strong feelings for animals, and still like them, but now I don't have strong feelings for them, either. However, I do empathize, and sympathize with people and animals. Much of the feeling is in the abstract mode, though.

I find strong emotional output from others, even positive ones, hard to take, so I tend to keep my inner self isolated from them. I find being an introverted hermit is best for me, but that may not be the same for others on the spectrum.

Like Kiriae, I sometimes talk to the inanimate objects in my home, and no I don't imagine that they are alive and talking back. I live alone, so this is a way to have a kind of pseudo, or surrogate, social contact that is within my abilities to handle, as the inanimate objects don't overload me with their own emotions, since they don't have any. I actually do have a couple of favorites, too. Almost from the moment I got them, I have been fond of, and sometimes talk to my two canes, as they help me get around, and help reduce the pain of my two bad knees. I even gave them names. They are still objects, but there is no harm in amusing myself by talking to them. Sometimes I will say "Excuse me" or other polite phrases when encountering objects in my home, too. Hey, when you live alone, and are mostly house bound, and don't have a pet, ya gotta talk to someone! This occasionally causes problems when relatives drop by unexpectedly, or arrive while I am in another part of my home. They will hear me talking to someone other than them, and wonder what's going on, as there is no one else there but them and me. You would think after several decades of life, they would remember that I am in the habit of talking to myself, as I also have a tendency to think aloud.

As for relatives dropping by and coming in on me, yes, some of them have keys to my place. I have several health issues, so they need to be able to get in should there ever be an emergency. Also, my father and step mother own my trailer home, so they can come in to check on things. While I would prefer less contact with my relatives, at least I do live alone, so it's better than any other place I've lived in.

I know I do have empathy, as I tend to feel strong emotions from other people and animals, but it tends to stress me out, so I put up a wall inside myself to distance myself from the stressful situation. One example is that some years ago a relative had a very bad break-up when she found out her boyfriend was married. She came approx 150 miles to the home my mother and I were living in at the time, and stayed for a couple of days freaking out and weeping. In the abstract, I understood why she felt that way, and it was uncomfortable to be around her strong emotional output, but I still didn't feel connected to her. I just tried to keep some physical distance while she was there, partly to keep from feeling her upsetness so much, and partly to keep from saying or doing anything that might make her more upset. Many years before that I attended a family funeral for a war vet cousin who had committed suicide. I could feel the strong upset feelings from his parents, and from an aunt and uncle that he had lived with for a while when he was younger. The strong upset feelings coming from these people were very hard for me to take, but I had to be there, as I was my mother's driver for the occasion. The irony of the situation is that I don't even remember the cousin who died. There was a big age difference, and we lived in different states. I think I may have met him once when I was a small child, but I don't remember doing so, and yet there I was years later having to feel everyone else's grief over his death. Yes, I am sorry he died, but when other people in close proximity are having strong emotions, they broadcast them "loudly" in a kind of psychic radio wavelength, which tends to overwhelm me. Based on my own research, I know that many others on the spectrum have this problem, too. I can't turn this "radio" down, so I have to distance myself from it. Sometimes I can physically go away, but that's not always possible. When I must stay nearby, then I try to put up a psychic screen to wall off, and muffle some of the "loud" feelings of the people nearby. I realize that this makes me seem emotionally distant, but I have to shield myself from this excessive "noise."

I do feel bad when bad things happen to others elsewhere, like the flooding going on in other parts of the country right now, or the news stories about people getting attacked, sometimes by muggers, sometimes by terrorists, or family members. Basically any kind of story of people getting hurt, sick, or killed leads me to feel this way. I also feel glad or happy when I encounter positive news stories, too.

Personally, I don't believe that people on the Autism spectrum are not empathetic or sympathetic. I think it just boils down to two main things:

> Lack of ability to connect to others.

> Lack of ability to handle the stress of strong emotions in others, so we tend to distance ourselves from the stressful situation by trying to shut out the experience.

This often gives the rest of the world a false impression that we have no empathy. Also, we sometimes have trouble understanding other people's feelings.

Hope this helps.

From my perspective, it fills much the same ecological niche as crickets and beetles, neither of which are so notorious.

Also, when said, lower lifeforms, of any taxa, are watched for long enough, they are expressive and made more precisely than any machine of man.

Specie-ism just putting your own kind first, but can you make something like that.

Yes. For me a. I care a huge amount about people, more than a lot of other people do. Often, I have been called selfish. I was never really selfish though. It's not an emotional problem. I just have a hard time being aware of others and their feeling, or understanding where they're coming from if I haven't experienced what they're experiencing, or i just don;t know how to connect with others. Also, sometimes I can get caught on one idea of topic, and grab hold of it and spin on it, no able to see anything else but that. None of this is not having empathy, but it comes off that way to people. b. Sensory problems are HUGE. For me, the world around me is often extremely confusing, overwhelming, and painful. It's like my brain takes in too much around me and then can't handle it all at once sometimes. This means I'm often very uncomfortable. I've found my own ways of dealing with it that work well for me, and everyone has their things. Anyways, I hope this helps. I hope it helps. If you need any help with resources or questions, you can ask me.