Anxiety and the Online World

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Does anyone else besides me here experience extreme anxiety when it comes to even just sending people a message, or e-mailing them? I've come to realize that rather than being a blanket haven for me, being online comes with its own set of anxieties and issues. My grades have suffered before because I was too paralyzed with anxiety to e-mail my instructors. I don't know why I was scared... I just was. Sometimes I want to add 'don't reply' to e-mails that don't require one, even though there's no logical reason for me to be frightened of a reply that just says "Okay, thanks." It doesn't hold true for everyone, but it is the rule rather than the exception.

I was wondering if I was alone in this or if it is more common than I thought? I think I didn't want to believe it because I didn't want to have to accept yet another thing 'wrong' with me; I don't know what to do.

-patrick

I get this when it comes to personal emails/posts/messenging. Especially if it envolves emailing a stranger ie support groups about personal stuff.

I tend to be as shy in the online world as in the real one. After posting something on a public forum, I would often be afraid of reading responses. It took me two weeks of lurking before I decided to post on WrongPlanet, and I spent 2 hours working on a couple of sentences of my first post. For the next day I kept away from the site, afraid of the responses (I actually didn't get any). But, as you can see from my post count, this has quickly and miraculously changed. I am still shy when it comes to other websites though. I do not participate in any chats or IMs, because I fear that the conversations will go too fast and I will lose control and run into misunderstandings. When I write emails to people whom I do not know, I get anxious too.

Yeah, while I do engage in my fair share of IM conversations, they occur at my own pace. It may take me a long time to respond... I enjoy the luxury of being able to think out my words before they leave my mind.

I like e-mail and the only time I get anxious is when the e-mail is not answered; goes for PMs too.

I find real life social situations very stressful. Online I find posting on forums can make me anxious, but talking in chatrooms I find quite easy. Talking on msn messenger I feel most comfortable. Sending emails make me anxious too.

Whenever I post something or email someone I read it and re-read it over and over before posting/sending it. It is very difficult for me to write anything and I very much want to be understood. I have a harder time talking to people though, so at least when I am online I get a chance to look things over before I send it out. Even writing this, I have edited myself a couple of times already, lol. I really hate when I misspell words.
- Patti -

Me too; I'm really terrible about reading and re-reading and re-re-re-reading, ad nauseam. At the same time, I get a sort of satisfaction from it, knowing that on some level, even my simple e-mail about technical support is technically perfect as can be.

I have extreme anxiety when it comes to dealing with just about anyone. especially in person or on the phone. I usually have to force myself to pick up the phone or go into a place.

On line I'm a little more relaxed. I can send emails with out much trouble, but I have to check and double check them over and over.

Here on this site, I don't have a problem since I feel at home with everyone else here on this site.

I can talk online and in writing on my book like I am an NT - in person though it goes very badly . . .

If I am in a power situation on the phone I am just fine - because everything I am saying is scripted to some degree - but talking to people I like to be around goes badly . . .

All of the people I like to be around know that you will be much more successful talking to me if they e-mail me than call me . . .

Posting here is fine for me, but emails to NT friends can be a bit stressfull. I spend hours trying to think of things they might want to know. I never ring people unless something terrible has happened, and hate answering the phone.

Reading some of these posts makes me so relieved. I have huge problems with this and was beginning to think it was just me

This is exactly the same as me. I'm currently doing a Degree in Computer Science and I've got into real trouble because I can't write emails to tutors and lecturers. It takes me ages to work out what I want to say, then I re-read it over and over again, but often just can't bring myself to press the send button, and like Kosh says, I don't know why. It got to the point where I couldn't even read my uni email account for a long time and would miss really important stuff.

I don't find it as bad posting to this forum, I suppose because it's likely that people reading on this webside will more understanding/forgiving, but I've still re-read and edited this several times before I can post it, and I still find pressing the 'Submit' button stressfull. It's bloody annoying because I can't understand myself why it's so difficult.

No, actually. I have that anxiety about a phone, or about introducing myself to a stranger in person, or even writing a snail-mail letter, but email I find is much easier to stomach.



Could it be that your instructors are simply very very scary? Oh I know, it's the email that is scary not the instructor. But seriously, consider that you might have been scared that your instructors would reject you for admitting to having trouble with the class, and by being too scared to contact them about your problem you ended up not being able to solve your trouble with the class. Email might not be the important thing as much as fear of ridicule and rejection.



I'm much better about phones these days. The important thing is to get over your phobia thus:

1) list a few "scary-to-send" emails
2) brainstorm ways you /could/ answer these emails without getting driven out of town with torches and pitchforks.
3) write the first email, promising yourself you don't have to send it if you don't want to.
4) Take a half hour break
5) repeat 3-4 a few times, making sure to keep the break pretty short since that's the best way to free the brain of a phobia.
6) Send the first email to yourself. Receive it, read it, pretend you are the person you're trying to send it to.
7) Send the email to the true recepient.
Take a longer break this time. Perhaps a day even to wait for the email to be read and replied to.
9) Repeat 7-8 with shorter and shorter breaks until you run out of emails to send, and you feel comfortable sending them.

I find using a phone almost unbearable, much prefer the intehwebs
P.S. hows that for resurrecting an old thread

I used to get as anxious over online interactions as offline, but it's something that's gotten easier for me over the years. The one area that still leaves me uncomfortable and prone to being as silent as I am in person is instant messaging, where I don't have the time to sit here editing and re-writing my responses (like I am right now) to make sure I don't say anything wrong. I'm sure that can be improved with enough repetition as well, though, as with most social anxiety issues.

I get anxious when I see a "new message" type notice, because it could be anything. I do quite well in an instant messaging setting, as I can still take my time to think about what to reply, but even on forums when I see someone replied to a thread I've posted in I get a bit anxious.

It's one of those irrational things that won't seem to go away.