Did anyone else find out this way?

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Ok...so...awkward day.

I just found out that my mom has known that I have Asperger's since I was a kid.

Yeah, this is news to me.

All this and here I've been, going through my teenage/college years with a Rain Man view of autism, only finding out about the wider spectrum a couple of years ago, and despite having friends with it and taking classes on it, until my shrink suggested I might have it only weeks ago, never DREAMING in my wildest imagination, never even considering the possibility that I might have it.

Boy do I feel foolish.

I found out I might have it when I met an aspie that I worked for, he suggested it.

Then I asked people I knew about it and my best friend said "Oh god, she didn't know" and a relative said "Duh, I just assumed you probably figured that out years ago."

So I guess that is sort of like that, but yeah, my psychiatrist and therapist doesn't think I have it, but I had one lady I met that works with aspies that literally pointed me out and asked me about it one day soon after meeting me, so I think I for sure have traits..

When I was a toddler my mom actually asked out General Practitioner if I could be autistic & he just lathed & said "Nick's just being Nick". I was diagnosed with dyslexia & ADHD sense I started school & I knew about those diagnoses & when I was getting rectified by a specialist so I could receive accommodations in high-school; he told my parents he suspected me of having Aspergers. I never heard about AS or me possible being autistic till after I graduated high-school & was trying to figure out what to do with my life; I was working with some different agencies cuz I have of some physical disabilities & my parents mentioned the AS/autism thing to me then. I always felt different & had lots & lots of problems & never understood why. If AS/autism would of been explained to me & others when I was in school; it probably would not have helped anything & maybe would of made things worse. When it comes to awareness of things like that; my area has their heads up a muddy swamp; people seem to think autism means mental retardation.

I don't think you are foolish just because your mother didn't tell you something she knew. And unless you are a psychiatrist, you wouldn't magically "just know" that you had AS. Unless you are seriously impaired, you would naturally try to fit in with the world around you, and see yourself and your reactions as normal. After all, you have never been anyone else, so what do you have to compare your own life to? A psychiatrist or psychologist has a wide experience of human behaviour, and can compare you with other people. But you (especially if you lack an understanding of other people's minds, as is common on the spectrum) may find that particularly hard. Only recently have I realised that I am more sensitive to loud noises than many other people are: I had never noticed it before - I just thought everyone found the same sounds "too loud!"

I wouldn't beat yourself up about not knowing. Many people only find out when others are diagnosed (like their own children or other family members).

I think it is fair, though, to feel disappointed that your mother never told you. But that is not a reflection on you, but on the decision to withhold important information from you.

I think my feelings of foolishness come from more of having such a narrow view of autism all along, rather than in not spotting it in myself. I guess I pride myself on being a knowledgeable and open-minded individual, so just the fact that I never knew what to look for when my family (typically less open-minded) did is my primary source of sheepishness.

I'm not hurt or bitter AT ALL, just for the record. I just posted this on another topic and am too lazy to do anything but quote it verbatim ^_^ :

I guess in a different situation that would be something to be a little pissed about. As it is, I just feel a little...hmm...out of the loop. Ditzy, in a word. Nothing serious, in fact I am pretty amused by the whole situation.

I was just wondering if anybody else has been in the situation of being the last to know about their diagnosis. Looks like I'm not alone! ^_^

My username says it all for me! Yes, this happened to me. I too used to think of autism as only the profound autism type, and never understood what Asperger's was. It was just never on my radar. At all. I thought I was this way because I am an only child. I came about my diagnosis through the back door, while my getting my toddler son diagnosed, seeing "sensory checklists" for the first time in my life. Then one day my mother and husband sat me down intervention-style and said "you know (son) got this from you, right? You have all these traits".

Talk about a lightbulb moment. I got my official diagnosis 2 months later. I understand what you're saying about feeling foolish. Though for me I would describe it more like those 3D picture puzzles, where you stare at the thing forever and only see a 2D bunch of scribbles, then suddenly the 3D thing pops out and you think "how did I not see that before"???

L2K

I had a "rainman" view of autism. I also naively thought that any child with special needs (including this nebulous condition called "autism") was a synonym for "slow" or "dysfunctional").

One of my classmates in nursing school was doing a practicum at a school where their was a special needs class. She learned a little bit about autism. I didn't get along very well with this classmate (we just rubbed each other the wrong way). When we were giving our presentations in class about our practicums, she said (in front of the whole class) that she thought that I had autism

Firstly - this was inappropriate as a nursing student should not be diagnosing their classmate at all

Secondly - this was inappropriate because she said it in front of a whole class of people

Thirdly - this was inappropriate because she should not have brought her concern to my attention because we already had a tense relationship

Fourth - her saying this to me (in private or, worse, in front of approximately 40 people) was insulting to me as I thought that this was synonymous with "slow" or "dysfunctional'). I thought she was basically telling me that I was not suitable for my area of study and belonged "with the special needs student" at an elementary school

I only remembered this situation when my own son was diagnosed about 1.5 years ago (I didn't really dwell on this particular incident as nursing school was a busy time and there were lots of more pressing things to attend to than an obnoxious classmate).

She was probably correct in her assessemnt. I do have autistic traits. In a stressful place (such as a classroom) - it was probably more evident.

When I was younger, I use to think that there was something different about me. I wondered if I was learning disabled and that everyone was just trying to hide it to protect me or something (remember, I thought that a learning difference was synonymous with "defective"). I used to wish that someone would explain social situations step by step for me so that I would know how to behave. I might have mentioned this to my dad once. He probably replied "people will think that you belong with the ret*d kids if you need that." I remember keeping my unease to myself and just not talking much for fear of saying the wrong thing.

This is probably why I had the misguided attitude that autism was an awful thing and to accuse someone of autism was a slap on the face.

Anyways, I recognize my autistic traits. I accept them. I am different, but not defective.

Happily, I also now know more about autism than my brash classmate thirteen years ago

I was told early in my life that I was autistic, but I had no idea what it meant until the last 5 or so years.

I found out when I was 48 from a psychiatrist who is a poker buddy. I knew that something was wrong but it took me 48 years to find out

Vanilla_Slice

My mum told me that I could have Asperger's and ADHD at two separate times. Both times I didn't believe her.
I could have saved myself a lot of pain if I just listened to her.