Do you think some people are too positive?

Post Reply New Topic

One friend (when mentioning worried over college) said be yourself it'll work out etc. another when mentioning the idea of moving out (Hey maybe you'll meet someone and hit it off then move into an apartment) IMO UH Why are you 2 so positive! Both know of my Aspieness but I don't believe they understand how hard it is! COME ON! I'm NOT going to POW! get to know someone right away then move out! I wish! and the whole "be yourself" advice sucks IMO. So are your friends/family overly positive? Someone linked me to a site about bullies and one comment that was mention is people telling you the past is in the past (Do we tell Joe the murderer Oh you killed 12 people but the past is in the past.) UH NO! LOL!

Everyone is too positive.

I think it's a matter of perspective. I've always been what I call "realistic" while other people have called it "negative." I say the best thing to do is the plan for the worst outcome but still hope for the best outcome. What took me a long, long time to learn was that no one other than me appreciates being told the "real" aspects; we're supposed to act like good little NTs and put the fake face on all the time. So, I do it to an extent, but then of course I need a lot of me time afterwards.

Long story short: what people say and what they really think can be diametrically opposed, in the NT world. There's a "social contract" that they all intuitively understand. We can understand it, too, but not naturally. We have to observe and learn in a roundabout way.

Well I can possible try to describe why NTs say to be positive and say positive things: it's because we sometimes feel that if you are positive, more positive things will happen to you. But if you are always thinking negatively, then negative things will happen. I know it isn't logical but people like to be around "positive" happy people so perhaps that is why they encouraging you. Because they feel if you "act" happy, people will be drawn to you. That's just my perspective on why they might say that. Don't take it personally. Be yourself!

yes. it's really annoying. like they can't face reality.

no they think they can change reality by ignoring it.

I do not hate them I just fear for them that someone is goinjg to set them up for a scam or to take advantage of them Like how kids did to me before I became thick skinned and jaded.

People are naturally over-positive and for a capitalist society it probably is better that they are. Now it's hard for aspies to think this way, because they take everything at face-value. Yes it is annoying, now especially that I think about the saying parents have for their children, "You can be anything you want to be!" In that case, we'd have fifty-million different presidents by now.

It's like people think that you'll just learn a new language out of the blue.

I was encouraged to be blindly positive on a fibro site a little while back. The people on there would describe biking around the block as the greatest thing since sliced bread even though they were in terrible pain. They said the pain made the experience more worthwhile... I got a lot of flak for not understanding their argument. Because worsened pain makes events better, huh?

Good Lord, yes. Thank you. People are always telling me things will be fine when in fact, they have no way of knowing. On something like a major exam, in fact, if I think the results will be mediocre or bad, chances are I know better than the person assuring me that I did great - because, you know, I was the one actually there writing my exam. I tend to put across to people how I really think things will turn out (and yes, all right, I am a little bit more negative than is perhaps called for, but that just saves my getting my own or others' hopes up). I never realized this was a "social contract" type of scenario where we're actually expected to pretend we think things will be fine; I just thought everyone else was trying to reassure me or make me believe something that had a good likelihood of not being true.

Nowadays, when someone says something like that, I mostly just shrug and say, "I hope so. We'll see," which is the best I can do without outright lying about how I think things will end up. That still makes them angry sometimes (why is it such a big deal to them that they always want me to have this oft-misplaced "self-confidence"?), but I'm not going to say I think something went well unless it's true.

I find that most people suck at being positive AND supportive. Listening to someone saying dumb platitudes usually make me feel much worse than I did before. I hate clueless dismissive "positive" people.

Amen to all comments! I know people who are just so f***ing positive and happy all the time and want you to join in on their happy and positive mindset that sometimes I really want to slap the crap out of them and yell "Do you know how irritating that is??! !!"

I find that people can work a little more at being both positive and supportive. I say this, from my experience, though. I could have used a little support from somebody in my life, a couple of weeks, ago. I didn't get the support that I needed, and I bitched about it for a week, here on WP.

My parents and friends are like this.

I like someone from time to time but my weird s**t just never makes it work. I don't really care about it, and the worst thing is everyone keeps patronizing me like I'm extremely sad or something.

Just let me play videogames in peace people.

Yes I find some people are too positive. I'm much happier with people who admit when things are bad. I work in science where it just doesn't help to view your work through rose-tinted glasses. But I guess most walks of life are less objective......most people would be able to put a positive spin on what they're doing.

Politicians are the worst offenders......always carping on about "the right policy" when they know damned well there's no such thing and that all policies do harm as well as good. Don't get me started on advertisers . Wouldn't it be great if people were just honest? Because then every positive comment would be credible.

I do tend to be a tad sycophantic myself though......not that I'd lie about stuff, I just tend to make light of the negative side of things/people unless it's really serious, so the overall impression I give is probably too positive.

It's better to be positive than critical. No one got anything done by thinking they couldn't do it. Doubtful thinking and fear of failure are the only reasons that hardly anyone achieves their dreams.