Do you push past people?

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The question is, do you always want to be ''first''? Do you push past people without saying ''excuse me'' or ''sorry''? When entering/exiting a shop, do you step to your side to let other people through, or do you carry on walking, even if you're obviously going to bump right into them?
When I see other people walking into a shop, they always smile at the person coming out, and step aside to let them come out - but me, I just walk straight through without giving way to anyone. I don't do this on purpose. It's because I lack motor skills, so I find it hard to stop in my tracks to let other people by. I just carry on walking at a maintained speed until I reach my planned destination. I know people just think I'm rude, but I'm not. It's just that I don't seem to see them coming. I do have Dyspraxia, aswell as mild AS, so lack of motor skills can be expected, but other people don't know that, do they? They just consider me rude and ill-mannered.

So anyway, do you know what I mean? Do you forget to hold doors open for people? Do you not think of saying ''sorry'' to someone if you have just pushed past them in a pokey little shop? Do you find it hard to say ''thank you'' to people who hold doors open for you? If you don't have this AS/Dyspraxia symptom, then that's good. But I happen to suffer this a lot, and at the moment I'm working on it.

I used to stand by doors and open them for people. I remember once someone seemed to get offended by this. I don't know if it is gender-related, it seems only males open doors for women sometimes.

I never push past people because I don't want anyone to touch me. I'm the last one out of the room, always. When I was younger I remember getting in trouble for walking inbetween two people conversing. I didn't know it was bad.

Yes, I can relate to this. It's not that I want to be first, but that I find it very hard to be simultaneously aware of all the many people around me and walking towards me, and to predict when they will be where! I don't have good coordination or depth perception, and I'm slow to process things, and I invariably bump into people. I hate it - I don't like the feeling of bumping into someone, or even brushing past them - so I generally try to avoid crowds, and I will stop still if I see people coming towards me and wait till they've passed before I move.

I generally remember to say 'sorry' if I bump into someone though - it's sort of like a reflex. And I thank people who hold the door open for me. That is just something I've learnt and comes automatically, unless something else distracts me.

Once though, when I was riding my bike along a pathway, two pedestrians stopped to let me ride past, and as I passed them, one of them said 'Thaaaank you' in a slow, exaggerated, sarcastic voice, implying that I should have said it. I thought this was a bit rude of her - but clearly she thought I was rude, and that was her passive aggressive way of chastising me! But it just hadn't occurred to me that stopping to let someone pass should be thanked, as I always do it myself as a matter of course. And due to poor coordination and balance, riding my bike takes all my concentration, so I have none left to communicate with others. I also never signalled that I was turning a corner, because I was afraid to take my hand off the handlebar, which made several motorists yell at me. I consequently stopped riding my bike.

Another thing I remember. When I was twelve, I was at school, going through a door, while a teacher was going through from the other direction. I'd got to the door first - I'd pushed it and she happened to be there on the other side, so I figured it was my place to walk through the door and she could wait. I tried to get through as quick as possible, so that she could get through, but she was in the way, so I tried to squeeze through her. She purposely blocked my way, which confused me, so I kept trying and then gave up. She then told me sternly that I must always hold the door and let teachers go through first. I remember thinking this made no sense, as I didn't see teachers as any more important than pupils - I've always seen everyone as equal human beings, so rules like that, which seem to imply some people are more important than others, confuse me. If she'd simply explained that the polite thing to do is to let the other person come through first, and that it is considered rude to push people, that would have been much more helpful - rather than use the whole 'teachers need to be treated differently' thing.

I usually hold the door for people if they are a few seconds behind me and when people hold the door I usually say thanks anyway.

Though I notice no everyone says thanks when they have the door held for them, perhaps they feel awkward saying it.

Ignoring the poll question, as it competes with the post question.

I have been known to open doors for people, and help little old ladies carry their groceries from where they dropped them to their car, etc etc.
But as for what is commonly called 'sunday drivers' - people walking in teams, spread across the sidewalk gabbing away, ignorant of the fact there may be other people who want to use the sidewalk... or people who don't move to the side on escalators... or (mainly christmas) shoppers who weave and sway across the hallways in the shopping centers...

Yes. I often ignore 'polite' rules and brush past them, getting the occassional mutter and objection. But slowing my pace for a bunch of lumbering buffallo who obviously have no goal, and are only there to take up space.. no wai. Push on people. I don't have patience to wait around on someone else's time.

On the same note, I seldom wait for the busses around here - they are absolutely HORRID about being on time - or even showing up! So I often walk even if it would take longer.. I'm impatient while travelling.

There are times when I am too focussed on where I am going to change focus, stop and be polite to another person by allowing them to go first.

There are other times when I am very old-fashioned and let all the females go first. I seem to switch back and forth - maybe that is part of my stop-start social awkwardness. I am not fluent (and fluid) in negotiating these chance encounters - I am erratic. It probably depends on how switched off the surrounding world I am at the time.

In the hallways at school, yeah.
Otherwise, I just wait for them to move.

I don't push through people.

I never know when people are holding doors open for me. I used to assume they would, except when they weren't, this would sometimes upset them. At least it did one person. So now I simply wait, and if they tell me to go ahead or something, then I go in. Otherwise, I simply wait. I don't even know when I'm supposed to hold doors open for other people. I always just hold the door open for myself.

As for people coming out of a shop or something, I stand aside to avoid touching them, or them touching me.

No, I don't push past people.

If there are people blocking my way I will try to find another way to get past them, or if there is no other way I will walk slowly behind them but I won't touch them or say anything to them.

While considering such a situation but not participating in it(like now) I can think that I should be able to verbalize something like "Excuse me," but during the actual interaction I wouldn't be able to remember to speak, so I would just walk behind them until there was an opportunity to get around them.

If I am walking in one direction and there is a group of other people walking the opposite direction and they are standing next to each other not leaving a place to walk past on the left or the right I will stop and wait until they walk around me.

[quote="capriwim"]Yes, I can relate to this. It's not that I want to be first, but that I find it very hard to be simultaneously aware of all the many people around me and walking towards me, and to predict when they will be where! I don't have good coordination or depth perception, and I'm slow to process things, and I invariably bump into people. I hate it - I don't like the feeling of bumping into someone, or even brushing past them - so I generally try to avoid crowds, and I will stop still if I see people coming towards me and wait till they've passed before I move.

I generally remember to say 'sorry' if I bump into someone though - it's sort of like a reflex. And I thank people who hold the door open for me. That is just something I've learnt and comes automatically, unless something else distracts me. end of quote)


My experience is more like you described. If I'm in a crowd or anxious, I seem to get tunnel vision and I become focused on "the goal" and may get to close to people or accidentally bump into them because of this.
I was in a busy store recently. The noise, crowd and lights were bothering me. I saw the food item I was looking for and "went for it". As I reached for it, I heard a lady beside me that I hadn't even noticed tell the person that she was with that "that was the rudest woman I have ever seen". I knew she was talking about me but I'm still not quite sure what I did and I didn't know how to save the situation.

I'm really not sure, actually. I try to be curious of people around me, but my husband is constantly telling me I'm oblivious to them and that I did something rude.

That happened to me at school. I walked between a teacher and a student who were talking to eachother, and the teacher suddenly yelled at me and called me rude for doing that. Confused, I just said sorry, and walked on.

I do thank people who hold doors open, but sometimes it comes out unconfidently. I just mumble, ''thanks'', in a low, unconfident voice. I really should work on that.
But the most thing I have trouble with is judging who should go ''first'' when it comes to meeting people in doorways. My judgement skills are literally rock bottom. I just can't seem to learn how to judge distances with other people. I am fine driving, because there are ''give way'' markings everywhere, and certain rules of the road, and you've got a big vehicle to control. But when you're just walking in a street with people everywhere all coming towards you, it's a tad more intimidating. That's probably why I find it more difficult to judge distances when walking.

I push past people to get away from the "herd". I don't like being surrounded by a billion people that thinks its nice to stand still and slowly suffocate and rub against eachother.

I do not use "excuse me", i'm more of a "MOVE!" kind of guy. I do hold up doors for others, regardless of gender.