aspergers, sad, relationship troubles

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Is it too much to ask for, when I want just one person on this earth to understand me?
I have trouble vocalizing my feelings. My boyfriend gets frustrated when I can't articulate my feelings during an argument. I get frustrated. I wish he could just see that I physically can't verbalize anything, especially when there is tension. I've explained this to him many times when I am calm but he never applies the information to situations. I've even written messages to him because I articulate via writing exponentially better than speaking.
Is it too much to ask him to forsee a mini-anxiety attack when we enter a crowded, public domain..without having me to explain?

Will I always feel like I am on the "wrong planet" and destined to live a solitary life? I can live in solitude, but I would like to believe that there is a soulmate for me, providing a lifelong contentment.

Im one foot out the door with my current boyfriend. I'm sad and I'm starting to drink again. But he begs for me to stay.
I don't have anyone to talk to...

miafrancesca, I have been where you are with every long-term bf I have had. I have always been the one to end the relationship ultimately but not before feeling completely isolated from the other person by a lack of understanding.

My last relationship ended four years ago after a protracted period of zero meaningful communications between my partner and me. Looking back, I think my big mistake was acting like an NT girl for the first couple of years of our relationship until I got comfortable and then relaxing into who I naturally am...super Aspie.

In retrospect, I should never have pretended...it wasn't fair to either of us. I suppose I had just been pretending in order to get by in life for so long, I didn't realize I was even doing it. I won't make that mistake again.

I have also recently wondered if I am meant to live a solitary life. I hope not but time will tell.

Lots of men are interested in me but usually at some point on the first or second outing, I look at them and realize that they are completely disinteresting to me. I think because of that, when I do find someone interesting, I freak out and run the other direction, metaphorically speaking.

I also cant express my feeling very well either and it was another aspie that should understand but didn't and was hurt by that said aspie.