Much higher level social knowledge then social application

Post Reply New Topic

One thing Ive noticed about myself is that my knowledge of social situations and ability to read people is much higher then my ability to perform in social situation. Ive told friends, I'm much smarter then I seem. I'll understand that someone is bored, annoyed, trying to end the conversation, humor, implications, etc. But me actually going out and socializing is a whole lot different. I know Im suppose to do certain things in theory but I still dont do them. I know how Im suppose to act more then I actually act. And sometimes when I have problems with people, I will know that their frustrated at me but I dont know how to appropriately respond.

Edit: I can even give my NT friend decent, practical advice at times for situations they deal with. Could I actually apply or even think of the advice if I was in the same situation...most likely not. Im just hoping that my NT friends have enough sense where they can know how to apply it.

Last edited by Ai_Ling on 11 Jun 2011, 3:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

stop getting into my brain.
indeed, i do know, usually, what i'm supposed to do in a social situation; but actually doing it? no way jose...

This reminds me of what someone said to me:
"You have the ability to know everything, but to understand nothing"
This pretty much sums up autism in progress, not just in my case .

In short, we're theory hogs, walking libraries, know-it-alls, etc. but not the practical orientated nature-wise.

I've put alot of effort in setting theory to practice, which wasn't my things either for years.
Unfortunately theory isn't the same as practice, so you just need to experiment until you get it working.

Last edited by Wallourdes on 11 Jun 2011, 7:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

ha amusing

I have just written a report giving feedback on a 6-month course I attended, including analysis of group social dynamics, critique of teaching methodology, strategies for improving efficiency, ideas for timetable alterations, and resource development.

Can I implement any of this advice myself?
LOL.

Absolutely. For example, I can tell when I've made a social gaffe but I don't know enough not to make it in the first place.

I dont think this is true for all aspies. What about all the chameleons who mindlessly copy NT behavior and are pulling off an act the entire time but they dont know why NTs do what they do.

My dads aspie and he can pull of the what Id like to call the "acquaintance" act much much better then I can but I understand social implications, humor and the complexities of people better then he can. Whenever we see the relatives, he can make greet people and make small talk fine whereas its much harder for me to greet and initiate small talk with people. I also used to have an aspie friend a long time ago who was like this.

Learned behaviour perhaps?
I do the chameleon act to, but this was far from natural for me.

Not only social situations but intellectual ones. I'm good at reading and finding patterns/connections/theory/recogntion that are there but I have great diffulty with practical "real world" application/labs/clinicals/recall.

Do you ever act out of own decission, or do you solely react to the surroundings?

Im asking because those are the moments I dont have to think about (re)acting, and I free myself from the people. People actually follow, and its also suddenly their task to react to me. To constantly have the task reacting to the people is "for me" not possible for a long time.
If you're talking about the way you are "supposed to" act, you are talking about the "show" you could do and not how you would deal with things in your own way.

I also analyze more than I act, but mostly because I choose not to "act". This used to be different: I used to act the way I was supposed to all the time in my teens. It felt like being a living fake.

Yes. Same here. It's like I know how to perform in social situations, but when said social situation actually occurs, I don't know how to handle the situation.

I dont know, for me theres a lot of anxiety involved in social interactions. I've always been more of an observer then a participator, that worked fine as a very young kid but as a grew older when situations got more complex I didnt know how to act in part because I was a very shy kid. So its second nature for me to appear closed off. I recently hungout with a friend and his friend(who i met for the 1st time), I closed myself off because I didnt know how to interact in that situation, they were really good friends they already seem to have their own thing going. They werent being cliquish infact the friend was nice to me.

I think from after years of studying social interactions I understand a lot more and know what to say but when actually with people everything just seems too chaotic that I make the same mistakes.

Im analyzing situations before, after, in between, over, under and across, and in the end Im kind of insulted that nobody else tries to understand me to the same extent that I understand them. Its directly unfair!

This knowledge makes me egoistic, and therefore I can e.g. react to people in a way that I know they dont understand, but which only I understand. (e.g. giving fast explanations in ways they are not capable of following).

I also can have anxiety: in forced situations, e.g. around the table with my boyfriends family, but Im much better because there was a time where I had anxiety in any social context, -including passing people in the street!

There are times when I understand why certain social interactions take place but can't do them myself because it just feels false. Not always like I'd feel like I was lying, but it would feel like someone else rather than me was doing it, while I watched from within. Extreme detachment I guess.

I'm the same. I am highly intuitive. I've astounded people with certain flashes of insight but a lot of time I struggle to put my thoughts into words. My memory and ability to communicate something fluidly can be unreliable which is frustrating. I also can't handle situations where things are coming at me fast. I don't "think on my feet" or improvise well. I tend to do better when I get to mull things over.

Yeah this is me. My biggest strength is figuring things out, so I can "wing it" but sustained social interaction is so difficult. I know I should do many things, I know how to do them but for some reason there is this big divide between knowing and doing