Slow processing of social cues?

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I feel like I can accurately interpret social cues most of the time, but seemingly too often only in retrospect after I've had a little time to think about it. Is this symptomatic of AS or does it just mean I'm NT with really slow thinking at times?

Last edited by swbluto on 25 Jun 2011, 10:07 am, edited 2 times in total.

Slow processing speed is likely a large contributor of social difficulties of those with AS who also meet the criteria for NVLD.

Recent studies have found that many adults with AS have superior social comprehension. When asked how to respond in a particularly situation, they are capable of giving highly optimal answers, however they tend to have difficulty utilizing this knowledge in real time situations.

Funny, that's sounds exactly like my kind of deal. For example, yesterday as I was riding an electric scooter passing out ads, some guy in a car was turning the corner and a passenger yelled out the side "Get a car, f@ggot!". I had no idea what to say in retaliation but, surely enough, 10 seconds later, I had the perfect come back! "Stop getting raped at the gas station, f@ggot!". But, see, it took a full 10 seconds to come up with a "highly optimal answer".

Today, someone was leaving the store and holding the door open to let her children out. Since I anticipated her shutting the door as I was walking towards her and I wanted to minimize my walking distance (I didn't want to "go around"), I was walking directly towards the door but she left it open to block me and the opening was on the other side of the door. She said with a sarcastic tone, "I"m leaving it open for you because I know you want to go inside." and I seriously thought for a second "Wow, she's dumb. I obviously am not going inside as I'm on the wrong side of the door." and I replied, "No, I'm not really going inside.", she laughed, and then I went around her as if to quickly solve the problem of her mistaken thinking. It didn't occur to me until about 5 seconds that her laughter combined with her tone suggested that, oh, she was just kidding me. I interpreted the situation accurately, although, not quickly.

Ever had delays of days, weeks, months, or even years before you finally interpret a social situation?

I don't usually trust what I come up with inside of a few hours, but past that I take it more seriously.

It's theory of mind that gives NTs their instant reactions in social contexts.

Misnamed, really, theory of mind is a learned pattern of behaviours in response to (mostly) visual cues with response times in the sub-500msec bracket. The fundamental response is from visual cue to facial response which gets rewarded by attention, and is mostly in place around 24 months.

We, unfortunately, don't get one. The NTs, having had one since before they could think, find it incomprehensible that anyone could be without one.

Yarp. Months later I have realised a person was trying to offend or agitate me, sometimes I find it amusing.

Flirting, insults, sarcasm, hints, etc. All this stuff can come to me at any time. If my realization is timely enough, I can at least go back and ask "Is this what you meant?"

I am slow at reacting/processing as well. Annoying. In the office it does not make me look too smart. Not that my co-workers are cruel people, but still I feel that I have some kind of "reputation". For my family it is different, probably because I know them well, and can anticipate better.

Yep, it can take me years before I see the significance of something that happened in a social situation. Usually it happens because I've learned something new that applies, but sometimes it just takes that long to apply knowledge I had at the time.

I rarely think to go back and ask "Is this what you meant?"....when I do, I find it difficult because I'd have to recreate the situation verbally to ask the question.

That almost entirely happens online for me, with it being in the recent past. If it's longer than that, I usually don't.

It is something I picked up from a human relations class in college, called "perception checking." Just asking someone if what I perceive about our interactions is what they also perceive. I think it's overly simplistic, though, and a lot of people respond poorly or assume you meant something else entirely.

In one case someone had stopped responding to me with more than one or two words at a time, so I stopped and asked her if she was annoyed with me. She immediately assumed that this had to do with a conversation we'd had a year before that I had entirely forgotten, and no other explanation would do.

"Perception checking" is something I seem able to do only if I'm in work-mode (not entirely sure why, but I think it has to do with how my scripts seem to be mentally attached only to specific situations) and I agree it's a bit simplistic for some things...two people are not necessarily going to be able to reference the same thing because of the invisible and uncontrollable "thought variable" (<--hope that makes sense!).... I can relate to your story of perception-checking gone awry.

What a world we live in.

For many situations, more time to respond would help. But for some, even if I had years it wouldn't be enough.

I can quickly think of the right non-verbal expressions/body language, like smiling, making eye-contact, laughing, et cetera. But getting words to actually come out takes longer. When I really cannot find the right respond, I always let them know by saying, ''erm....'' to avoid any silences or saying something stupid. It usually works.

I have a crush on my bus-driver, and he always tries to make conversation with me when I first get on. I don't have much trouble with this, but it's just finding what to say quick enough. So usually I practice the night before (it's usually small-talk, which is easy and predictable). Say if it's a hot day, I assume he's going to talk about how hot it is, so I try to line up a few words in my mind of what to respond back. Usually having a few keywords there really helps. But usually when I have a crush on someone and they talk to me, I can respond easier, because I fill up with elation, which makes my self-esteem and confidence arise, which is a good thing.

Exactly. It can take any amount of time. And, then, I think to myself "That's obvious! Why didn't I figure that out until now?"