Why are some of us obsessed with certain people?

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I'm the type of Aspie who has always had extreme obsessions with certain people since the age of 11. The most intense obsession I had was when I was between 13 and 16, where I was so infatuated with this middle-aged married bloke who lived next door to a relative of mine, that I ended up being a nuisance in this guy's life. I got obsessed with his wife too, because I got jealous of her for being confident and pretty and married to him, and so I ended up following her around somewhere once, to capture her behaviour, so that I could try to be confident like her (it worked a tiny bit, but it never attracted any fit men). I got so intensely obsessed with these people that I started hating myself because I really wanted to be like them or in their lives, which wasn't possible.

Luckily, by 17, I grew out of this frantic obsession, and I jumped onto another obsession with completely different people who I didn't know before, and this time I have learnt to keep the obsession to myself more, so it doesn't freak them out. I just act generally friendly with them, and they just think I'm a friendly person, which isn't no harm at all. Anyway, doing that helps my social skills.

The question is, why all this? Why do I get so obsessed over people, and not objects, animals or facts? I do have interests in objects, animals and facts, but they're not like a special interest or an obsession. They're just genuine, like how NTs respond to their interests. But when I get obsessed with certain people, I write stories about them, draw pictures of them, make up names of their families (since I don't know their families), and et cetera. Does anyone else here have or had intense obsessions over a certain but random person (or people), but really don't know why?

I'm obsessed with Jesus and Mick because they're both suitable role models for me.

When I was in middle school I was ahead of other kids in math and physics (I learned calculus at 13), and there was another guy, Ivan, who was similarly ahead. I was obsessed about comparing who is further ahead, me or him. We also discussed math and physics a lot. I believe he probably was also an aspie, since his voice was monotone, and he was talking about these subjects to everyone, not just me -- even though others were clearly disinterested.

Again, when I was around 13, I decided to put forth my candidacy for some kind of school councel, that was supposed to be made out of kids (they were training kids to take responsibility and have leadership roles). These were elections from the whole school. Only three people were put forth from my class -- myself and two girls (Zhenia and Yulia). None of us made it through the school wide election. But still, I was obsessed with Yulia after that and I was thinking that me and her are "exactly the same" simply because we were both nominated. I didn't pay attention to Yulia at all until that election indicent. The subsequent infaturation probably lasted a month or two.

Again, around that age I was infaturated with a couple of other girls. Back in Russia I was infaturated with Lena for probably a week to a month. Then when I moved to America at 14, I was infaturated wtih two German girls in my "English as a second language" class -- Maria and Catarina; they were sisters.

At 21 when I joined mailing list for Asperger.s (ran by Clare Sainsbury) I was fascinnated with Sarah Roberts on that list. Mostly it was because of her stanford photo where her look seemed really non´-worldly, so to speak. When I was banned from the list for unrelated reasons (namely, posting racist theories of intelligence) I was subsequenly obsessed with the whole list. Mainly it was because this was the first place where i felt accepted and welcomed, and it was the first time i realized i liked it. So for the subsequenct two years I was obsessed with trying to find a way to "run on" at least one of the people on the list by joining other forums. As far as I know, I never ran onto anyone from that list.

Then, starting from the age 25, I was obsessed with Anne because she rejected me. I did have other girls, but there are some aspects in which no one else measures up to her.

I was obsessed with my girlfriend 8 years ago because I was completely in love with her. Now I'm obsessed with the iCarly star Miranda Cosgrove because I think she's the best role-model out there rite now & I have a mega huge monster crush on her

This happens to NTs all the time; they call it "having a crush". It doesn't necessarily have to be romantic attraction--the term "girl crush" for example means a heterosexual girl becoming non-romantically fascinated with another heterosexual girl. there's no equivalent term for guys but the phenomenon still exists--the sudden intense feeling of connectedness and fascination.

Honestly, I don't see how the NTs deal with it. It seems like it would muddle your brain up pretty bad.

Ya learn a new word every day, I guess. "Bromance". Huh.

I hate the word 'Bromance' it just sounds masculine and blokey. I prefer 'emo-love.' Despite the fact that I'm very literal minded about the term emo.

I get obsessed with people too but I think it's because it's very hard for me to get along with people normally. I'm not obsessed with my friend or anyone close but people that seem to be out of reach like an actor or musician. I usually mimic their behavior and dress style without noticing. I think there have even been people in school or a friend of a friend that I've known that I've become obsessed with. Even when I was obsessed with being like my own brother there was hardly and personal communication between us.

Right now I really like the actors Michael Shanks and Mike Dupod and any Stargate actor you can think of. And I like Jefferey Donovan too. And I've started to get back into Matt Davies (who is a friend but a very long distance friend - from Wales eek) and two other band members that I have met a few times before, but they all seem just out of grasp for me.

So, I think it's about wanting to be with someone or communicate better with them but I can't.

I've had a celebrity crush (if that's what you want to call it) for most of my life. I guess I'm the type to keep it all to myself though, and I obsess in private.
As to why, I can only speculate, but I suspect it really is a role model thing. It seems a common thing here for people to want to be like the person they're obsessed with. I know in my case, the person had considerably more social skills than I do.

I have had intense people obsessions since the age of 7. I keep them very well hidden though, since they really aren't socially acceptable at all. The only people I really discuss them with are my mom, my counselor, and well...this forum.

Mine are never random...it's always people that I have met before but we have something in common that I find interesting. These are usually very systematic and information based. I like knowing where people live, their relatives names, etc. I also fantasise about us hanging out and doing things together. It's very rarely that Im also sexually attracted to them as well...its usually just an intense desire to be their friend. And yes, I can get them with both guys and girls.

My current one is with this guy A. who I hooked up with a few times but we lost touch after I deleted my facebook. It's mainly because we like most of the same music and a lot of the same artists. He is a well-known DJ in the toronto electronic scene, so he is far too cool for me...doesnt hurt to dream though! He is, simply put, very hot.

I also have a fixation with finding local aspies that live in my province. I don't really have an obsession with any specific ones, though I find some more interesting than others. It's more of a cross-sampling thing as I want to look for behaviour patterns, commonalties, and differences between them.

Perhaps because we can relate to them? I was intrested in Eminem for a while but never obsessed, I came to discover he could easily qualify for an AS diagnosis. Animals were always my obsessions, never people. Eminem's music was the only music I could relate to for a while.

The only man I've ever had a crush on (a meerkat zoologist) I was never obsessed with him.

As of late, I've been obsessed with a variety of objects that pertain to artistry and philosophical gibberish. In fact, I've even been enamored by my website, and a teacher from a while back. Hand in hand, it's taught me who I am today, with the differing values of life dressed in my name. To breathe. However, these obsessions can be strung to 'reason,' if you want to classify or summon a reason. If you find yourself addicted or infatuated with a group of people, or a person at one time, then another person at another time, it may be that you are lacking in social departments. My two cents.

do video game characters count?

if not then i don't obsess over real people ever. i find it wrong and disturbing, because i see how that has ruined the lives of actors and singers worldwide.