is anyone else really attractive but really awkward?
tennisballmorality
Emu Egg

Joined: 17 Nov 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
Location: charleston, sc, u.s.a., western hemisphere, northern semisphere, earth, milky way, universe
okay, so here's the deal. i am a former anorexic male with asperger's. as part of my recovery from anorexia, i started lifting weights and am slowly getting into bodybuilding as a hobby and personal training as a carreer. i am pretty muscular and my face is pretty attractive to women (and some gay men as i've experienced in the gym), but i'm so awkward and really have a hard time talking to girls especially. i'm usually approached by a girl but it's rare that she ever approaches me again cuz i'm so horrible in conversation. my best friend says it's because i have weird syntax in my sentences and say random things that don't always pertain exactly to what is being referenced. does anyone else have this problem, and what do you do about it?
I am in the same yacht, except minus the really attractive part. ahah. Maybe I am, but maybe I just look kind of nerdy.
Some gay guy too have thought I looked good....UGHHH
I don't have any advice for you, but I know what you mean with weird syntax. All I can say is keep at it and maybe go bold. I mean use it to stand out, basically saying you aren't like those other guys. Just be a bit bolder.....I dont know
Taupey
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Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,168
Location: Somewhere between juvenile and senile.
I don't have the attractive problem you have but yes, I'm awkward as Hell and I have trouble talk with someone I'm attracted too. I hate meeting new people and trying to carry on a conversation with them. I'm usually really quiet when I actually meet someone new I'm interested in so I don't embarass myself so much.
Practice helps, start out small by just saying "Hello or Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening" to people you meet while you're out. You might want to start with old ladies because they are so sweet and it makes them feel great when a nice looking young man passes them and takes time to say hello. You could gradually work you way down from old ladies to girls your own age and as you do that add a "How are you?" or "It's beautiful weather we're having today." (or something like that) to the "Hello" or "Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening". It might be better to make a statement first for awhile instead of asking a question because you might get someone who wants to tell you how they are for an hour and you might not be ready for that yet or have the time. But you can try it when you feel like your ready and have the time.
The more you do this the more confident you'll feel and girls like guys who are confident. Maybe try talking to other girls your age whom you aren't as interested in. Try not to be so self-conscious and focus on what she is saying to you - and don't forget to smile. I know it's easier said than done. But you'll get the hang of it with practice. I wish you all the best.

_________________
Whatever you think you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. ~Goethe
Your Aspie score: 167 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.
practice practice practice.
you have a real advantage since oyu look good. get as much practice as possible and don't beat yourself up if you make mistakes. just move on and try again.
always look for interest from the girls. learn to figure out what them being interested in you looks like. once you know what it looks like, do things which get more of that.
tennisballmorality
Emu Egg

Joined: 17 Nov 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
Location: charleston, sc, u.s.a., western hemisphere, northern semisphere, earth, milky way, universe
rah smiling is the pitfall for me. my friends say i look like i'm always trying really hard to concentrate on something very serious that i don't understand and that when i talk to people at first i look like they're speaking a foreign language. i personally feel like i look like my eyes are glazed over when i'm talking to people, but i've been told that's not true. is there a way to habituate smiling so that it becomes natural over time?
btbnnyr
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Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
Mindslave
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Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,034
Location: Where the wild things wish they were
I have this problem. Because I don't want people to come up to me, I act like a raging tool so people leave me alone. On one hand, I like making new friends, but I don't like making a million friends at once. I get overwhelmed. People that come up to me and want to be friends usually want to suck the life out of me, and that's not cool.
Taupey
Veteran

Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,168
Location: Somewhere between juvenile and senile.
Can you make a little smile? Start small and then gradually increase it. You can practice infront of mirror and decide what looks best on you. I had to practice smiling and making all kinds of facial expressions when I was young because they didn't come naturally. Maybe guys don't spend as much time in front of a mirror as girls do with fixing their hair and putting on make-up. But I'm sure guys have practiced smiling and making expressions in front of a mirror too. It's painless, I promise. Put photos, pictures or anything up where you live that makes you smile and or laugh. Watch funny shows on the Internet or TV as often as you can. Recall "funny" embarassing moments. Like GuywithAS said, "Practice, practice, practice." It will start feeling natural before you know it.

_________________
Whatever you think you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. ~Goethe
Your Aspie score: 167 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.
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