Why is it that Aspies get such a hard time with people?????

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I mean im really quiet and shy, and am always nice to people, but apart from a few mates, it feels like a good majority of people judge and hate me, including relatives, even some people where I wouldnt even know their names.

And it not only me, like when i read some of the posts on here, there are like ten times worse than mine, the type of thing "normal" people would do to them because they are different.

Don't get me wrong, I say this is something people have been asking for years, but after my day today at school, I just need a bit of a rant.

Why can't people just turn a blind eye to someone with autism or to a "weird" person, I mean it's not as if they mean to do they things they do, and I just don't think it's fair especially when that "weirdo" is always nice to you.

I know this is a old topic, gone over again and again, I just needed a bit of a rant. :/

I really wish young conformists would leave me alone. When I walk past a group of young girls, I get all het up because I know they will look and have to react to my weirdness (well, heh, I don't actually look or act weird, but there's something weird about me otherwise they wouldn't react). I wish they would just leave me alone and concentrate on eachother and their own problems instead of a stupid stranger walking by.
Once I walked past a group of little 8-year-olds playing under a tree, and one of them shouted, ''hello!'' in a stupid tone of voice, as though they really had to get my attention. And we never did that when we were children. When I used to play with my brother or cousins or friends when we were little, we filtered out mature adults walking by us, and just got lost in our imagination, or if we weren't playing a make up game we will blocked out everyone else and were just interested in eachother.

So even kids get the better of me.

Because people are usualy very cruel to us.

We communicate very differently. People with aspergers have very little awareness about how their body language is being interpreted, and as such often give off negative signals unintentionally. For example, you may be giving off an "I think I'm better than you" look without noticing it, even if it is not your intent or actual thought process. Neurotypicals will pick up on it and respond accordingly.

There are just some people who feel the need, whenever they notice anyone different, to round up a mob and pass out torches and pitchforks.

I'm not defending those people. Far from it. I can't even go hiking in the woods without getting remarks from kids who pass me. I'm sure a lot of the adults are thinking the same things, but at least fewer of them seem inclined to make a fuss about it. Although I've also heard quiet comments made to companions once I was past, when they thought I couldn't hear them. (I have better hearing than most people.)

I don't know why they do it. I don't feel the urge to point and yell "that person's different from me" every time I see somebody. But I do wish the ones who feel that way would all get together somewhere and leave the rest of the world alone. Because unless you're harming someone else, people ought to leave you alone. And no one ever hurt anyone else just because they didn't wear fashionable clothes or watch the same TV shows or whatever.

They're all shocked if somebody looks at a black person and yells the N-word - and they ought to be. But the thing is, they're no different. Some particular forms of bigotry aren't acceptable any more, but however they hide it, they are still bigots. Picking on anyone for something unimportant is bigotry.

Not all NTs are that way. Some of them are perfectly willing to leave me alone, or to treat me decently. So I'm not trying to turn this into an "all NTs are bad" type of thread, because that would be just as bigoted. But those people who do single out anyone different, who make a point of shaming them or attacking them or whatever, they are bigots. And it is time they were recognised as such.

And Aspies are the ones who lack empathy for other people's feelings.....

Empathy is not resonating to others' feelings. That's sympathy. We have no lack of that.

Empathy is being able to determine what others are thinking or feeling even if they don't say anything about it, by noticing subtle clues in their body language. We can easily miss things like that, by getting lost in our own thoughts and interests. Lack of eye contact probably contributes as well.

Personally, even when I know somebody around me is upset, I rarely know what to do about it that would make them feel any better.

As to why people seem to seek us out to abuse, there just seems to be a lot of hate in the world today and hateful people seem to have a radar for sensing those who are least likely to fight back. Since the autistic process social interaction a bit more slowly than the NT brain does, its harder for us to respond appropriately when we're verbally attacked. I for one, tend to shut down, withdraw into myself and say nothing. Perhaps we give off subtle body language cues that others can see that we're not aware of, that let them know we're easy targets. I know I've been a bully magnet all my life.

Others have already said it better but, yeah: major communication differences (verbal and non-verbal) due to different brain functioning. And also, the majority of people in the world are used to dealing with others who function similarly to them. So, they have little concept/perspective/empathy for that experience (or even the existence of it), So, they tend to project incorrect motivations, internal states, etc. (even being on drugs or not). It literally is a failure of empathy on their part. And so that's why I think they tend to think that things an ASD person is doing are deliberate, to "get attention" or manipulate them in some way.

I've never confronted a bully about why he/she picks on me. I suppose it has everything to not being part of the crowd. If you stand out in any way, you might as well wear a target on your back. At least, that's been my personal experience.

Really well said.

Yeah, people suck. I just ignore them. Or I play up my weirdness to show them that what they say doesn't bother me.

I'm a nice person but if I get the impression you don't like me then I'll ignore your existence. I've got my friends and family that love me and I think I'm pretty great - so what should it matter that some kid that gets their style from magazines thinks about me?

I do that too.....

People are generally self-focused and would rather pursue relationships which require less effort on their parts. I also think people find us hard to read and misinterpret out non-verbals.

All of which doesn't really help the fact that it kinda sucks for us, bit of a sore point for me again tonight. If I knew what to do to make people feel comfortable talking me I would do it but no one ever seems to really help with that.

you see it all around you - people love to see what is wrong by others. They seem to need to forget about themselfs and their own failures and only see and point out what they think is wrong with others. They wanna make YOU look as a failure of the world to feel being better and have more power etc.

People love to group together, share a borg mind aout topics, being together stronger to the outside world of the group. So, every foreign group or single strange people are to be pointed at for that matter. Others are a threat to a group mind the more strange they are. And we are a special sort of strangers, because we seem not to care how we show, we just are and go our way without thinking all the time how we appear to others.

Where I work these days, I am respected to be a nerd. I am a IT Nerd and so not being expected to be normal. The company's employees like me, I get problems solved and I am nice to everyone, just a little strange and that's ok for bing in the It support department.

Judging from my own experience with people, it seems that I simply slip under their radar. I suspect that I literally vanish in their field of vision. Quite a feat for most people, I'm sure, but I seem to manage it without trying. I haven't tested it by trying to walk out of a posh assembly to see if I get stopped yet, though. Haha.

The cruel people aren't really all that normal in my opinion.
I have been treated bad by the following people and no longer care about such people.

1. Drama queens and kings
2. People who are very superficial and self absorbed.
3. People who abide by fads to the point if you don't prepare for ridicule

4. People who pretend to be smart in subjects only to find out it didn't come from their own brain but another smart person's brain. I am a threat if they tread on a topic I do know alot about because they are out to impress someone with their feigned knowledge.

5. Socially competitive types. Mostly women who project alot.

6. People who think you are manipulative for being blunt because once again they are projecting but somehow they think you're just better than them at manipulating and they must eliminate their competition through pretending life is a reality tv show and they are the judges and contestants.

7. Men who get pissed off that I am not picking up on their attempts of flirting so they feel the need to cut me down thinking I must be on some pedestal. By the time they get done hacking away like Paul Bunyan often end up walking away of their drama head games after months to a year confused. Why didn't it work?? (I eventually figure it out but usually not at the time it is happening leaving me feeling quite bitter.)


8. People who think because you are weird it must mean you are a doormat. Always setting up tasks you can do for them because HEY you should just be grateful someone is your friend. Those "friendships" don't last long with me as I don't like users.

Yes it's tough if you have autism. What is very tough for me is, I've become very good at appearing to be normal on the outside so people instantly think I am normal until getting into a conversation with me and my awkward moments come out and I go into in-depth reports of subjects of interests. Stimming etc..although I have noticed I stim less if I hold something.

When I spot those kinds of people, I understand what is really in store so I keep away.

The kinds of people who don't act cruel-

1. Those that are refreshed by honesty.
2. People who engage in intelligent conversations and have actual knowledge on the subjects.
3. People who don't condone bullying.
4. People who think of them self as an individual rather than belonging to a clique.
5. People who may enjoy some reality tv but also enjoy watching shows that give them knowledge.
6. People that are visual thinkers.
7. Closet aspies
8. People who have their own hobbies and don't mind sharing their hobbies with others.


I think there are so many cruel people and growing because they are feeble minded enough not to question what they see on tv and it warps their minds.
They obeyed their parents who told them to stay away from the "weird" kid which prompted the child to think about hurting the child and justifying their actions without repercussions. Their parents view it as alpha behavior and their child will be more successful than the bullied target.

Autism is not learned behavior but bullying is. Until I see the set definition for normality, I will think of normality as something that is always subject to change based on fads and influence.

People are learning by watching the topics about autism on TV that it's okay to hurt us. Kathy Lee Gifford ridiculing the autistic teen while rewarding the guy who became his friend while coming up with that horrible song subconsciously gives the impression to bullies that they can hurt an autistic and get away with it because nobody loves us.

Dr. Phil always siding with parents and showing blatant disregard towards the feelings of the autistic child is setting up more abuse. Yet again the message is, it's okay to hurt someone with autism, they make their parent's life hell so we'll be doing the parent a favor by hurting their child!

Psychopaths and narcissists are left unchecked and often glorified in the media meanwhile our media gets extra fragile when ooops, tits are shown on tv by accident! Oh but it's okay to show violence.

That should not be regarded as normal. If normality had it's rules set in stone as to what normality really is, would those who think of themselves as normal stick by those standards and if so wouldn't that make them less easy to control and mold into whatever trend comes to life?