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y-pod
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09 Oct 2011, 10:07 pm

I had a weird revelation recently while reading one of Temple Grandin's books. I always think in pictures, too, but I'm also sure I can feel all the main emotions clearly, just with a bit of delay. Eventually I realized that I have been talking to myself in my head often, and it works to open doors to feelings. :o

This is so weird but I'll give an example of how it works for me. Suppose I see someone crying, that doesn't do anything to me, then I go ask her what's wrong, then she tells me her grandma died, I say "I'm sorry" but still don't feel anything. Now, if I'm busy I'll just go on with my business without ever thinking much about it, however if I have enough time to think about it and talk to myself, I might tell myself "she's upset because of the loss of a loved one, she'll never see grandma again or have a good time with her again, there's now one less people in the world who love and care about her, and that can't be easily replaced." Then I start to feel sorry and sad for the person. It's like I always need to interpret things to myself, using the most appropriate words that I can understand, then suddenly things make sense, and I feel the right emotions. Sometimes I'm ecstatic to learn a new word that describes rather complicated feelings. It kinda feels like once I mastered the correct use of that word, I'll be able to use it to talk to myself, and hopefully I'll feel it. Sometimes I repeat the same things over and over again to myself to try to make it sink in so I can really feel it.

I dread emergencies and situations that need me to act instinctively, because I haven't got much instinct. If there's no time to think then I don't know what to do or feel. That seems rather stupid but I can't help it. I also worry about being considered an idiot because I don't know what to do or say. :( Last year we couldn't find one of my kids at an amusement park. DH was frantic and I was just looking around, trying to analyze the possible ways he could have wandered off to. I told every employee what he was wearing and what he was likely to be doing (crying of course). Someone found him within a few minutes. DH and him ran to each other and hugged and cried, and I was like "See I thought he couldn't have gone far". :D I wasn't trying to be a jerk, I hadn't got time to think or talk to myself, so I didn't feel worry or fear. Since he was found quickly then I already didn't need to worry any more. I wonder if any onlookers wondered if I was actually his mom or not. I told my mom (very NT) later and she was like "OMG that's so scary. I'd have a panic attack right there." and I was like "What good would that do?"

So, I'm just wondering if anybody else do similar things. That they need to think and possibly interpret everything to themselves before they can feel. I understand everyone is different, there are some aspies who rarely feel anything. I think my type should be pretty common, though, the delayed emotion type.


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syrella
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09 Oct 2011, 10:12 pm

Yes, I can relate.

There are times when I wouldn't normally feel any emotion for someone. But if I relate what they are experiencing to myself, then I will feel the appropriate emotion. It takes an extra step or two in my thought process and isn't so "intuitive", but it has been one trick I've used in order to better connect with people.


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y-pod
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10 Oct 2011, 6:56 pm

Hmm, maybe my type is rare after all. :)


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Christopherwillson
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10 Oct 2011, 8:01 pm

I talk to myself every second i get to be alone :P it's really hilarious cause i mostly pretend to give a speech to a 1000+ audience. i speak to Oprah sometimes, i speak to Johnny Depp, 2 days ago i spoke to Steve Jobs.. and Tom Hanks 2.

I like it since the best conversations are the ones with myself or my imaginary friends.


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