Do all aspies have trouble telling others how they feel?

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One of the things I hate most about myself is that I literally can't tell people I know how I really feel about them. It's like I have some kind of mental block, if I try to tell somebody I don't like something about them I get into a panic attack and I completely shut down. Because of this some people think I must not be an honest person, I do try to be honest but I just can't handle the anger or rejection from people when I disagree with them because it causes me deep internal pain. I know that might sound crazy but that's the only way I can describe it.

Is this something common for everyone who has aspergers?

I have trouble describing people at all, let alone how I feel about them.

I learned awhile ago not to trust my own judgement in people anymore. I tend to think that just because someone talks nice to me that it means they're a nice person, and most of the time these people always hurt me in some way in the end. I'm really not good at reading people so I basically learned to stop trusting everyone except my Mom and my sibilings and best friend.

I never even get to the judgment part. I can never even describe people at all. I hate hearing this: "What's he like?" Or even worse: "So, tell me about yourself." I can tell you more about Sherlock Holmes than I can about myself.

I'm honest with strangers and very close friends with my critical opinions but people that are in between are the problem. Its not that I'm insecure it just that I hate disturbance.

But I sort have trouble putting my feelings into words most of the time. My mind goes into an overload when I'm overwhelmed or even when I try communicating about my feelings at all. Its like talking about feelings is too much for me to take.

This. Not only is it hard for me to guess at how another person might be feeling, it's hard for me to accurately talk about my feelings as well. If someone asks me, "how are you feeling?", I say, "I feel, um, I feel...". Then, nothing. Silence. Instant brain overload.

I have more trouble NOT telling others how I feel about them. When I like someone I get overly expressive about it and when I don't like someone I have a hard time not telling them so.

It's hard for me to tell people how I feel about them. If it's something positive, I feel vulnerable and unable to express it, even (and especially) to close family family members. If it's something negative, I feel like me saying it will be taken as me saying "I hate you!" no matter how minor it is.

I have trouble knowing how I feel, including about people, so of course I have issues telling other how I feel about them.

However, I don't think all aspies have this problem, except when they're otherwise being blocked from communication via shutdown. I would guess most do though, knowing how many have alexithymia.

I think the majority of aspies have tremendous difficulties expressing their romantic feelings to someone they are interested in.

Last edited by bruinsy33 on 21 Dec 2011, 2:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Any time I try to explain something personal I either get chest pains, I get so emotional that I cry or if I don't stop I'll start yelling - then I am speaking very clearly. Getting to that point means getting past the mental block though.

The last time I saw a psychologist, she asked me to describe anxiety. It took me about five minutes to get to "A fluttery feeling in my chest."

I can identify anxiety readily, I know what it physically feels like. A lot of other emotions I have to deduce from past occurrences." I actually had to deduce I was depressed from the way I behaved. "Wait, I think about suicide and I feel like there's no point to doing things." I don't actually feel depression as an emotion, although I suspect that may be more common than I think.

That is exactly how I function. When I was with psychologist, one thing that took me most time is describing my inner states and emotions. He asked me if I am in touch with my feeling, I couldn't really answer that.

My therapist has given up on asking me what my emotional state is.

As others have noted it is very hard to tell someone how you feel when you yourself don't know. Or if you do feel something that "something" is indescribable.

I don't know if I have ever been happy. I would like to know what it feels like. I've felt contentment and satisfaction or laughed at jokes but I still don't know if that is what happiness is.

Um.....I'm confused, yet again.

NTs do this too. When a person has a problem with me, they don't speak to me. They delibrately walk past me and glare or just don't look at all, or they send some strange text saying something like ''it's best we don't be friends any more'' without an explanation why, if I irritate them they just go off and back-stab me with their friends and not actually tell me that I'm annoying, and the list goes on.

So what DO NTs do when they have a problem with someone? According to WP NTs aren't honest so they wouldn't tell you and Aspies are honest and would tell you, then according to this thread NTs are honest and do tell you and Aspies aren't honest and don't tell you.....

Have I missed anything here?