Do you hate it when people come round at awkward times?

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I have a relative who don't follow any routine, and he comes to my house at the most awkward or random times, and when I have other plans it makes me very angry (since I don't like my routine changed or I don't like being all behind). I know it's nice to see him, but it's nicer when he pops round in the morning for a cup of tea, rather than late afternoon when we're getting all the dinner on, or after dinner when we're just about to go out to visit other relatives (sometimes we do this in the evenings).

Although Aspies here think all NTs don't have routine, I know that they do because the rest of my family follow some sort of routine *, except this one relative who really does not stick to anything at all (except work). He's even got a 5-year-old and a 7-year-old, and you do need some sort of routine when you have small children.

*The rest of my family can just cope better when their routine is slightly altered, which I can't. I melt down. Anyone else feel this way when people call up at funny times, which interfers with your routine?

I understand your situation Joe90, I have my family well trained now.

They have to call me and make an appointment before calling in past.
I see my home as my retreat from everything stressful in real life so I don't like intruders even blood related intruders.

All visit of outsiders to my home are intrusive, though I am tolerant of relatives and close friends up to a point. I ask them to let me know beforehand and if they repeatedly ignore my request, I refuse to answer the door, even if I am obviously at home. This ruffles some feathers, but what does that matter if they respect me so little they won't honor my reasonable request?

I really dislike it when people upset my plans. However, I have never really been in the situation when people showed up completely unexpected. There have been times when there were more people than I expected, but that was at other people's places. While it was a tad unnerving, I got through it.

People don't come around because nobody I know lives within 50 miles. It used to happen in the past though, and I found it really disruptive.

Any time a person is not specifically invited to my home but shows up anyway is an awkward time.

Most people know to not even try it. Some people, like the in-laws, will come round without a specific invite but they are always careful to give us "fair warning" (usually at least the day before) and not just drop in.

On my part, I find it really difficult to just "drop-in" on people even when I have an invitation to do just that - I have had many invites to just drop-in when I want or, to narrow it down, on a particular day. But I need a specific day AND time. Sometimes people tell me I'm welcome to visit any time but to call first just to check they're in. This guarantees I will never visit because I can't make the call!

The worst for me is when the in-laws unexpectedly drop by when my husband isn't home.

I had an ex friend who used to do that all the time. She also phoned me at 10:30 at night when I had to work the next morning. That doesn't happen anymore thank God!

Yes, I hate it when people come over unannounced. I hate it with a passion. It disrupts my routine and makes me have to put up my guard, which exhausts me and annoys me because home is the one place where I shouldn't have to feel that way.

However, if I am told a day or two in advance when people will be coming over, it isn't as bothersome to me because I have time to mentally prepare myself for it.

No not really. I just do my own thing. Besides people rarely come over. I don't mind when my brother in law and kids come over. My husband tells me ahead of time on the same day they are coming and it doesn't bother me. I love their company.

If they do I go and hide in my room.

It's typical for us, I feel, to not want plans spoiled. I think it's common to most people in general as in they want a great cultural framework they want their lives to be seated in. For us though this familiarity is very much a day-to-day affair. What I think makes it so acute is because we have come to associate the outside world with stress. Since I have not I can say honestly that the visitation of random blood relatives would be fine.

I hate when people come over.

Whenever they come over is an awkward time.

But the more time that I have to mentally prepare for them coming over, the less difficult it will generally be for me to handle it.

If they give me less than a day to prepare then I will want them to leave very very quickly.

If someone regularly comes over on some kind of repeating schedule and if they're someone I'm more comfortable being around that's much better, but it's uncommon, and right now there isn't anyone who regularly comes over.

I've got better things to do with my time than try to make myself intresting to you .