"Aha" moments after social interactions

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Transhuman
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18 Feb 2012, 4:40 pm

Do you ever get those "Aha" moments after social interactions, when you suddenly understand some body language aspect in that interaction after zoning out and thinking about for long enough? It happens rather often to me. It doesn't grant me any ability of recognizing this body language aspect in later social interactions, though.



MrXxx
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18 Feb 2012, 4:44 pm

All the time. Yes.


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18 Feb 2012, 4:52 pm

Yes, but this only ever happens to me when I'm observing two people I do not know who are having a conversation. It has never happened, that I can recall, after a social interaction where I was directly involved.



Joe90
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18 Feb 2012, 5:20 pm

No, I can pick up on other people's non-verbal cues very, very quickly.

But I do often think of something good I should have said when it's too late.


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18 Feb 2012, 8:09 pm

I only get that when someone explains or points out something I missed



Rascal77s
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18 Feb 2012, 10:29 pm

Transhuman wrote:
Do you ever get those "Aha" moments after social interactions, when you suddenly understand some body language aspect in that interaction after zoning out and thinking about for long enough? It happens rather often to me. It doesn't grant me any ability of recognizing this body language aspect in later social interactions, though.


Happens to me all the time too. For me it's much easier to just be an observer. When I have to actually listen and think of a response at the same time my brain can't handle it. I guess you could say my input is ok but my output is screwed up.



nemorosa
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19 Feb 2012, 4:35 am

I don't see the body language because I'm captured by the eyes, those damn eyes and face that keep growing bigger and bigger as the voice becomes just garbled noise and babbling. If I'm not participating but merely observing then no problem.



izzeme
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19 Feb 2012, 10:08 am

Cogs wrote:
I only get that when someone explains or points out something I missed


^ this exactly, i need some kind of guide or translator to explain the inner social workings to me.



Andreas11
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19 Feb 2012, 11:54 am

Sometimes, but only when I see two people argue for a while. Never had it while actually having a conversation.



noname_ever
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19 Feb 2012, 11:58 am

I have them frequently after I screw up a social interaction.



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19 Feb 2012, 1:00 pm

I think that the only body language I'll ever understand is limited to either: "they want to be closer", "they want to be further away", or "they want me to die".

I doubt that I'll ever even be able to imagine what else there could be to understand, so my chances of moving past the imagining stage to the understanding stage are slim.



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19 Feb 2012, 1:15 pm

Always! The problem is that I don't recognise it quicker, DURING the social interaction. Intellectually, I can analyse a situation and see most social cues, or perhaps at least half. But not all - sometimes I need people to point them out to me even afterwards - and I can only think about it when I don't have anything distracting me. Having to think about it AND pay attention to appearing sociable AND think of what to say AND process what they're saying next AND everything to do with the external environment is too much for me. I frequently leave a social situation thinking perhaps something was wrong (I tend to notice expressions but not know what they mean) and I won't figure out exactly what it was until later. Maybe I said something stupid, for example. But by then it's too late to apologise and they just think I'm weird. I'm tried apologising later and then they say I'm silly for bringing it up so much later, so I can't win.


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19 Feb 2012, 1:46 pm

Yes but the 'aha' moment comes two or three weeks after the social interaction and the moment has somewhat passed by then.



Mayel
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19 Feb 2012, 3:31 pm

Very often. I get that moment minutes after interaction. And sometimes it's really unfortunate since if I would have caught up with whatever they were trying to tell me indirectly I would've probably looked more congenial or whatever would be required in that given moment. It actually often screws up any connection I could have made with other people.
I wish people would be more direct about negativity or postivity,...etc. and the things they want in general.
I also get moments where I think about what I could've said.
My processing of non-verbal communication seems to be slow or I'm very distracted by externalities or both.
I've found that when I'm out in ,say, a crowded street with someonelse and we're talking, I can only focus on talking or on not getting in the way of other people....or in a shop, not crashing against stuff.



Last edited by Mayel on 19 Feb 2012, 3:58 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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19 Feb 2012, 3:42 pm

Events replay in my mind like a video.

Sometimes I don't get something until years later, sometimes minutes later, sometimes months later.

Here lately I've been able to pick up on stuff quicker after realizing the real reason why this is happening.

During social engagement, other sounds distract, you're trying very hard to stay focused so your brain in working hard to keep up with everything going on. It cancels out some of the other social aspects with your brain as your brain is juggling all of these hidden tasks while you are trying to make out what someone is saying while the wind is blowing and reading their lips.

Through all of these things combining all together at once, you aren't focused on intent or reading between the lines. When you are in a more relaxed environment then it can register if you think about the social interaction later.

It's a good thing I have intuition. I can feel is something isn't right or someone is trying to manipulate. I get a twisting feeling in my stomach.



Transhuman
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19 Feb 2012, 4:27 pm

Invader wrote:
I think that the only body language I'll ever understand is limited to either: "they want to be closer", "they want to be further away", or "they want me to die".

I doubt that I'll ever even be able to imagine what else there could be to understand, so my chances of moving past the imagining stage to the understanding stage are slim.


You're very lucky. The only one I understand is just obvious expressions, such as very strong anger, crying, laughing, etc. I can't decode other people's relations towards me based on their body language, though.