Scorn not his simplicity, but try to love him all the more.

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KodyPhoenix72
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 21 Mar 2012
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 9
Location: Cork, the Republic of Ireland

22 Mar 2012, 6:38 pm

Seeing as this is my second ever post on the Wrong Planet, I think I should give some background info. on myself before I ask questions. Maybe there'll be some similarities between my life and yours. Feel free to tell me a bit about your own story.

Anyways, I'm seventeen. I was born on 20th December 1994. Although I knew my mum, I've never known my biological father, not even by name. By the time my twin brother and I came along, my mum was dating a man by the name of Paul. He was violent towards my mother and left when I was still an infant.
My mum was an alcoholic. At the age of three my twin and I went into fostercare. We stayed at our first foster-home for a week, then we went to our next fosterhome for a few months. During this time, I went to preschool and learnt basic things like how to go to the toilet. However, my fosterparents had a lot of their own children and didn't have an awful lot of time for me. My twin and I spent most of our time in the backgarden, by the swing and bird house. After that, we went home for a while. By now my mum had married a man by the name of Alan. However, he used hit me and my brother on our bum using a leather belt, a lot. He would also burn my arms with a cigarette. Although I disliked it and often hid in the bedroom wardrobe whenever I saw him coming home from work, I never told my mum what he was doing as I didn't really know that it was abnormal for him to do those stuff. (Naiive and foolish, I was around four at this time.) However, eventually my twin told my mum what was happening. I can still vaguely remember the night when he told her the truth. My sister, who's three-years older than me, begged me to say that our stepdad wasn't doing those things. I was even promised a candy rock-bar if I said my twin had been lying. I agreed but unfortunately my mum realised that what my brother had said about Alan abusing us was true and I never got that rock bar :( My twin and I were sent back into fostercare, staying in different homes for about a month and a half. Then, on May 2nd 2000, aged five, I arrived at my current fosterhome. I left my twin enter the house first as I was fed up of moving from house to house. (My fostermum would later say that I was starting to 'switch off', as if I had given up on life.) However, this home turned out to be a blessing and I finally had a 'proper' family. Living in that house made me happy and gave me a refreshing new start to life. My fosterparents couldn't have children of their own but they had one dog, a golden labrador who I adored. The dog was with me until I was fifteen and I cried at her death, the first 'real' death I experienced.
Alan and my mother got divorced when I was nine years old. Alhough I sometimes visited my mum, I didn't have much of a connection with my real family and eventually it became too difficult to see them. I've now become estranged to my biological family. (My twin's still with me though, in my fosterhome.)
I had a very good childhood with my fosterfamily. I did well in primary school and excelled at English and creative writing.
Things started to get worse when, aged twelve, I entered adolescence and began secondary school. I've never been that good at socialising and my unpopularity started to upset me a lot. I did some stupid stuff to seem 'cool' and be more popular but, obviously, this backfired.
When I was fourteen, I began to understand that I was gay. I made the mistake of 'coming out of the closet' at school when I was fifteen. (A bit early, I know..) That was almost two years ago now. Since then, I've been bullied, suffered from depression and my fosterparents, who used to be very supportive, now give out to me every day.
Last April, aged sixteen, I 'came out of the closet' to my fostermother but she wasn't pleased and said that she'd kick me out of the house if I went to a LGBT support group. We never spoke of the matter since.
Then, this February, she's told me that I might have Asperger's. I'm seventeen so this revelation came fairly late. My therapist saw me twice already and he'll see me again within the next two weeks to give me the results of the diagnosis. I personally think that I do have Asperger's because it would explain a lot, and it's something I accept. In fact, if it turns out that I DON'T have it, I'll be extremely disappointed and surprised! :P
I'm addicted to creative writing and videogames.

Anyways, how old were you when you realised you had asperger's? Are there any similarities between my life and yours? Do you have any life story which you'd like to share? Does the asperger's limit you in any way? Sound off below!



MrMagpie
Raven
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Joined: 25 Jan 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 107
Location: Findlay, Ohio

22 Mar 2012, 8:48 pm

Hello, Kody, it's nice to meet you! Like you, I was diagnosed with Asperger's late in life - it wasn't recognized until I was 23 years old, and only after I took it upon myself to seek out a professional. Without going into specifics, I also suffered various forms of abuse throughout my early childhood, thanks to my father's burgeoning Bipolar Disorder with Schizophrenic tendencies and simultaneous abuse of steroids and other drugs. Although I never ended up in foster care, my mother did end up a single parent, and because of my little brother's more classic Autism and my younger sister's behavioural issues, she had very little time for me.

I spent a lot of time in my own world, and never really developed any close friendships with children my own age, though paradoxically I had many children who would have seen me as a friend and often wanted to play with me. I was much more interested in spending time with adults, and skipped classes to hang out with the librarian in my middle school so often that eventually they just made me her assistant. Highschool was even more severe, since I would spend all of my time reading and discussing books with my English teacher. If I recall, I graduated with something like a 2.2GPA - then went on to graduate from college with a 3.6GPA.

Also like you, I 'came out' to people in my highschool around the age of 14 - there were some attempts at bullying initially, but I think most people eventually realized I was too strange to bully, as I tended to turn their attempts at intimidation into discussions on the prevalence of homosexuality in teenagers.

As for limitations due to AS, I have a pretty severe lack of empathy and rather shallow emotions, so developing close relationships with others and knowing how to properly interact with others is something I personally struggle with on a day-to-day basis. I also suffer from a lot of social anxiety, and am easily overwhelmed when my schedule is suddenly changed or I'm required to spend a lot of time with others.

I'm glad you found a community like WrongPlanet to support you, and I hope everything goes well for you!