how can i deal with this aspect of autism?

Post Reply New Topic

The anger and anxiety problems i have too endure as an outcome of having autism are overwhelming at times and its ruining my quality of life. i am just so sick of being losing my temper easily over small things . what i would give just too be chilled out and cool headed...... there was a time when things were that sweet when i was 11 years old but meh things have been struggle ever since i have been 12 and even more so when i got into my teenage years.


how can i cope with the uncontrollable anger and anxiety issues? the only pleasure i get is when i get immersed in my hobbies and interests that i do by myself.

My tolerance for stress is greatly affected by sleep, exercise, nutrition, and downtime. If you want to boost your resistance I'd recommend getting plenty of rest and exercise, reducing or cutting out stimulants like caffeine and nicotine, eating fresh fruit and veggies while cutting back on refined carbs and processed foods, and make sure you're not during more in a day then your aspie battery can handle.

Doing all of these at once would be daunting, I'd at least sleep good and eat good for starters.

Aharon the thing is though sleep is not always that easy for me esspecially if i have too get up and do something the next day

Do you know what exactly causes or triggers your anxiety and your anger? Figuring out the circumstances that cause your anxious and angry responses is a good place to start. Which words and actions of whom, what sounds or other sensations play a role in that you can't help but react like you do? What else sets you off? What thoughts might go through your mind during those situations that contribute to you reacting that way and that make it worse instead of calming you down?

Depending on what is involved in causing your anxiety and anger to rise, it is possible to work on some of it by avoiding some of that stuff, by trying to think other thoughts or figuring out a way to dissolve the problem one has (or how to get the heck away from something disturbing and exhausting) to avoid feeling trapped or helpless which leads to no choice other than freaking out.

A few reactions could even change by just realising that there's a misunderstanding or a learnt/acquired intuitive response that doesn't make sense and can be overcome by becoming aware of it.

I'm not sure how different levels of anxiety and anger can be treated by meds where you life which might or might not be an option if they turn out to be important to help you working on your reactions.

It's also really important to try to learn to be aware of how far your anxiety or anger is up at any given moment. It's perfectly natural to freak out if something huge and awful or annoying happens you you're already stressed (but ignored that or if you were too occupied to notice how you feel and how exhausted you are) because the past few hours or days were very exhausting.

There's no cure for overdoing it other than learning when to stop right away by learning to pay attention to when your body and your mind/mental abilities tell you they're just not at their best at the moment and need a rest.

: Sora one BIG trigger for my anger is my is my 'height complex' like if my brother, father or mother look taller than usual i get really angry, stressed and worried and start freaking out. i also get angry/worried when i got out in publice and everyone looks taller.
of course if i feel taller than usual around my parents and brother i feel alot more relaxed and at ease.

so what do you make of that issue Sora? it could be related too not liking 'change' and wanting everything too stay the same and be in order?

If sleep is an issue, then exercise and eat good; you might be surprised how much easier it is to drift off when you're eating good wholesome food and getting a workout in. If I don't take care of those things, I get this electric buzz of anxiety tension in my torso and head, but it's manageable.

Try lean meats, fresh fruit and veggies, and water or herbal tea for a few days. You might actually feel worse the next day or two; that is simply your body scrambling to take out the trash and make repairs it didn't have the nutritional budget to work on before.

Aharon any tips on how i could deal the 'trigger' for my anger which i described above?

You have a sensory issue with people being taller then you. The kinds of issues we can all have can be totally unique, but I think they are all symptoms of a core mechanism we share. The best way I can describe it for myself is this.

Think of people with aspie batteries and people with NT batteries. People with NT batteries spend their day's energy on work, paying bills, and arguing with their spouse. Their batteries are charged from things like social activities, spending time with their spouse, playing a sport of some kind, and entertainments such as rock concerts.

The person with an aspie battery is very different. We also spend power on work, paying bills, and arguing with the spouse, BUT due to extreme sensitivity, over active nervous system, whatever you want to call it, we can be spending power on all kinds of things also.

Flickering lights, loud noises, intense smells or tactile sensations can invade our perceptions and drain us pretty quick, like a wet battery loses its charge because of the short the wetness causes. I can be doing nothing and still be getting drained by the guy mowing his lawn outside, dogs barking in the distance, or the high pitched whine of an electric device. This issue is compounded by the fact that unlike NT's, I cannot recharge my battery by any of the methods described above, like socializing or rock concerts, even spending time with family...those drain me too!

When my battery gets low, I become irritable, less tolerant of things, more apt to be bothered by something, and when my battery goes dead, then I can have a shut down or a melt down. That's where good battery management comes in.

There's things I can do that will ensure my battery can hold a larger charge and be free of draining "shorts" like plenty of good nutritious food, live fruits and veggies, moderate exercise, and plenty of sleep. I dare any aspie to tell me they're doing great living on 5 hours of sleep every night and playing WoW all day while subsisting on red meat and Doritos. On the other hand, I challenge any aspie to exercise regularly, eat well, and get more sleep and not have some positive benefit. For some it may be greater then others, but that should help everyone to a certain extent.

Another thing; if you don't use it, you lose it. Don't stay indoors for 3 months and then expect your first trip to the store to be a positive experience, especially on red meat and Doritos. Taking care of those things I described will apply a layer of resistance to you that makes the world less intense, at least in my experience. There have been times after riding 12 miles on my bike, and eating really good that I'm just sitting in my office in the midst of chaos, but I'm like a zen master, like Neo at the end when the bullets don't touch him. I'm there, but I'm unphased. The world isn't soaking into me, invading me. I feel a separateness from it all. I feel like myself.


So about the height thing, try that. If that doesn't work, try platform boots, or boots with enough on the bottom to make you taller. If that doesn't work, modify your schedule; can you conserve power somewhere? Are you doing something that's draining you, ie video games or excessive tv? If that doesn't work, you may consider professional help.

Oh, and if you're a teen, it's ALWAYS worse when you're a teen, all those exploding hormones make it worse. I wouldn't be a teen again for a million dollars.

Well Aharon apprently teenage issues for aspies still have an effect well into your 20's.

so maybe this whole sensory problem is partly due too my teenager problems and it might die down in my late 20's?

Yes, I can confirm that for you. That can carry on but I think you have to understand yourself. I admit, teenage years totally suck but you can't dwell on those things.
I wish I didn't though, you are young yet so trying to grow up quickly will not help you at all.