Im really not liking have aspergers today.

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I see alot of people on here say how they love aspergers and think its a gift but its not. I wish I was totally normal. If I was normal then I could go to a normal school and have friends. I wouldnt be obessed with dog training. I would hear things normally instead of every thing being so loud. I would enjoy hugging my mom. Im 15, maybe if I was normal I would have a boyfriend. But Im not normal. I have aspergers and today I really hate it. Im as lonley and friendless as an old lady. My only friends are my two dogs. I hate hugging my mom. I hear things louder then every one around me. I cant stand other girls my own age. Most people dont like me because I always say exactly what I think. All of my siblings always have their friends over and I just sit alone and be by myself. Today I hate it. Any one else ever feel this way?

Yes, I do. Someone I know said hello to me in the gym today, and I got a startled look on my face and mechanically returned the greeting after a bit of a delay. All I could hope was that he did not think he was bothering me because I know if someone responded to me the way I responded to him I would think that I was bothering them. But then it would only make the situation more awkward if I clarified that he was not bothering me.

It is very frustrating not knowing whether a social interaction was successful or not. If there are people over, it helps to get involved in something like a board game or video game. Then they don't tend to notice how awkward you are because they are distracted. But I know sometimes you don't even want to play a game or really interact. It would be ideal to just sit next to one another and not talk sometimes.

Would you like a virtual hug? They don't seem to bear as much discomfort as physical hug.
*extends arms*
I hope you feel better.
Yes, I feel lonely beyond description as well some days. If it makes you feel better, I'm a teenager as well and I can go weeks, even months, without talking to my mother (she doesn't live with me, though she's only a Facebook message or a phone call away); heck, I live with my father and I still feel disconnected from him. Just last night, my hypersensitivity threatened to send me over the edge--I started hallucinating and hearing voices.
However, I don't attribute it as a neurotypical or autistic thing. I see it as something personal--a specific weakness (or set of weaknesses) that I have. There's a good thing about weaknesses, however: they can be overcome. I overcame a severe speech impediment (as in requiring years of therapy) well enough to be on a Poetry Slam Team (a team of poets that compete by vocally performing their work).
I haven't overcome everything, obviously, but if my fragile little self can pull through it, then I have faith, something I seem to be rapidly depleting of as of late, that you, too, can overcome some of your weaknesses. Maybe your mother has come to mind not being hugged--my parents have learned not to expect as much affection from me as they do with others. Dogs are better companions than people, anyways. Besides, I hear the neurotypicals I know claim that they get lonely sometimes as well.
Life isn't easy for anybody of any neurological arrangement. We all have the capacity to pull through, however, and I believe in you! If you ever need anybody to talk to, feel free to PM me.

You may not like having Aspergers, but you know, being NT doesn't equal a perfect life. I know a lot of NTs, and I think I'm doing better than many of them.

Also, I don't think many people see at solely as a gift, but it does help to look at the positives of it.

Live through it. I don't really see my diagnosis as a positive thing either, but I do see how I need to do what I can to use the eccentricities to their advantage, since they're not going away.

Regards,
Eldanesh

I feel this way a lot. Sometimes I just long to be like everybody else. To have the simple and fun interactions that they all take for granted.

But I don't think that's not possible for me, or for anyone else here for that matter. I believe that as time goes on the symptoms and struggles will lessen. Definitely. You just have to have some faith and keep on keeping on.

Hope I haven't been incredibly cliché here...

But yeah - I send my best wishes and I hope you're feeling a little bit better.