weird thoughts in my head

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First off, not sure if I'm an aspie.

Second of all, I feel like I have these weird thoughts going through my head all day long. It's like a tic. I will start making up nonsensical sentences and thinking of weird abstract concepts, putting the pieces together in strange ways, and coming up with theories. My signature is an example of this. It is a comment on political bickering, in case you are wondering.

But, it's like I can't turn my brain off. I keep having this empty, vacuous, circular thoughts, that just go round and round and don't accomplish anything.

Like, I'll be thinking something like "A man on the bridge has no bread, he walks to the store, and then a bomb explodes." and I just keep making up these random sentences in my head. It's like I can't stop. I guess I'm just really really bored.

Is this an Asperger's trait? I think I might have schizoaffective disorder or something, since I've had some breaks with reality in the past. But I'm not sure.

Are you in college?
Maybe you should take a poetry class,
or a creative writing class.
No sense letting the 'tic' go to waste.

I try to salvage whatever visual 'tics' I get,
via my drawings. It's made me happier
with that nonsensical part of myself—
put it to good use.

I love word play and onomatopoeia. I write a surreal journal from time to time,
http://renegade-snares.livejournal.com/

Wow, those examples you gave would make great song lyrics. When I write lyrics I do a lot of similar style lyrics to you random thoughts, just with things rhyming. For some reason I'm also pretty good at spouting out random lyrics off the top of my head - improvisation. But the lyrical content is ALWAYS really really weird random stuff - it all makes sense to me but I can see why others might not think so. In one of my bands my lyrics are fairly undesired - I do write choruses often though - I like repeating lyrics over and over and over and over sometimes. I have some songs where the lyrics are just the same sentence over and over for the entire song (with a lot going on with the rest of the music), but those and most of my other sets of lyrics are either my own solo originals, or with one of the bands I'm in that plays pretty trippy music.

Has it not ever occurred to you that you may just be very, very smart, or have an otherwise powerful brain that needs to be doing more than it is currently doing?

I have a similar experience to what you have described some 80% of the time. The remaining 20% when I am not so much like that coincides with when my brain and body are active. (Clearly the ratio of active:non-active is skewed towards non-active - this begets endless attempts to rectify the situation which inevitably end in anxiety - but I will get there eventually!) Find a challenge or an activity. Do it. Don't stop.

I live in the UK and my parents live in continental Europe at the moment, so I travel backwards and forwards a lot to visit. In the week leading up the day of travel, doing all the things I need to do like booking plane tickets, cleaning my inevitably horribly messy apartment, packing my suitcase, etc., instantly lift me out of "brain pain". Even something requiring minimal effort like getting ready to travel is enough to use up some brain power and give me relief.

Of course I'm not saying my situation is the same as yours - but it may be. Better for me to share and be wrong, than not share and not try to help

Thanks for the responses. I'm really not that smart though. I'm kind of an idiot actually. I mean my intelligence is reasonable (about 130), but I just find it very very hard to concentrate. lately, and I can't use my brain the way I want to use it. I used to be really smart, did well in school, got straight A's, all of that stuff, but lately it's just so hard to do anything. Maybe it's depression.

Most of these thoughts are not poetic or productive, just random. Occasionally, I will get a flash of brilliance, but usually it's just word salad. It's like a tic, as one person mentioned. (I do have motor tics by the way). I sometimes repeat words over and over again in my head, the way someone would repeat a song in their head over and over again. Phrases and words just get stuck.

I find it so hard to shut my brain off that I drink alcohol at night in order to sleep which is obviously bad. I tried ambien once and it didn't work for me.

I just always want to turn my brain off - that is the constant theme. I know it's bad, but it's just very very hard for me to relax, and it's very very hard for me to concentrate. I feel like I've been isolating more and more, getting paranoid about certain things, reading into things too much. It's not enjoyable, like someone in a manic phase, it's just painful.

I just want to drop out of life completely.

I would consider getting into poetry & skipping the drink.

When it comes to sleeping, try not not do any activities 2 hours before you go to bed. Don't read, don't write, don't play games, don't watch engaging shows on tv. I have trouble following my own advice, but I think it could work. I have trouble shutting my brain down at night aswell. I've tried distracting it by saying the alphabet over and over mentally, and if thats not enough then I will also sing a song mentally, and if it's still not enough, I multiply a number by 2 starting at 1 until I cant do it anymore.

If distracting like that doesn't work, try to produce sort of a mental tv-snowstorm that will cancel out your thoughts to create the illusion of serenity.

Not drinking anything containing caffeine after 16:00 is also a good tip for sleeping. My brain goes in overdrive if I get too much caffeine, and it's harder to shut it off.

Before I started a family, I would always fall asleep to a tv-series, or a movie. I think I have fallen asleep to Matrix 60 times or so.

Are you me?

Seriously, though....are you?

Really seriously, perhaps it will help you even the TINIEST bit to know that someone out there (me) is having//has had the exact same experience as you. In the past and right now. I often wish non-suicidally to step "out of life" for a period of time, then re-enter, refreshed. Entirely not possible.

One thing I have learned from my teenage years until now (mid-20s) is that EVERYTHING is cyclical. Pain will go. Anxiety will go (inevitably to be replaced by other anxieties but then they too will recede).

I'm being very haphazard with my thoughts here but bear with me. Drinking - don't do it. It works slightly for a bit, and then you have a raging depression trip the next day, even if you don't fully realise it at the time.

Best things for a healthy brain in my opinion (and the things which if I follow I have an almost miraculously better time)

1. ROUTINE - do things in a certain order at certain times of the day, even if you don't really have to because there is no one around to "enforce" the routine, as there was from K-12 in school, and to a lesser extent at Uni and in jobs (not sure what stage of life you are at). Routine includes things like - shower, brush teeth, get dressed, go to the grocery shop, watch favourite TV show, do whatever work/career/school/creative activity you have been trying to do.

2. CLEAN YOUR HOUSE OR ROOM OR OTHER SURROUNDINGS. Keep it clean. Keep it tidy. Keep it pleasant and smelling fragrant. Make it a place in which you actively ENJOY being.

3. I've lost focus at this point in time so I shall happily now refrain from further preaching. Do please not be annoyed by my preachiness. Take what you want to from what I've said and dump the rest if you want