Ominous feelings

Post Reply New Topic

I keep being overcome with ominous feelings of impending doom for the better part of time that I'm awake. Like, I could be online or reading or sitting around or whatever, and I just get this jumpy anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I get thoughts like "You're fat. Starve youself." or "What if they get into a horrible car accident?" I start to wonder if somewhere in the world there is a terror attack or awful natural disaster and I get these paranoid feelings about being psychic and connected to all the horrible energies in the world.

At least you're aware that your feelings do not reflect reality.

Reminds a lot about when I had GAD that interacted with high schizotypy.

I am ominous all the time. :p

Feelings of impending doom and danger are *very* common anxiety symptoms.

I've had anxiety issues for about two decades now.
What you described reminded me of the time, ten years ago, when I had a couple of periods of severely elevated anxiety.
I felt an overwhelming sense of dread and panic almost 24/7 throughout that. I had sever trouble falling asleep and bad nightmares too. I was almost sure I was going to die in some terrible way.

It went away eventually though.

Well, there is a lot of horrible stuff going on at any given time so I wouldn't call those particular thoughts paranoid.

Most people are able to "put in on the backburner" as one of my therapists used to say. Fact is, terrible things happen all the time. That's life.

As for the thoughts of "You're fat, starve yourself" maybe this is a reflection of what you think society thinks about you. Anyway, don't starve yourself. It's true if you are in good shape and attractive, you will get more attention and people will treat you better. No one wants you to starve yourself though.

Are you fat or do you just think that is what society thinks of you? Sorry this is probably an obtuse thing to say but I mean, it's a fact, better looking people have better social interactions.

If you need to lose weight, take a run,, go on a diet.

I'm overweight myself and I've noticed people treat me just a bit different (I used to be in good shape). It's not paranoia, it's a sad fact of life. Or maybe you have poor body image. Knew someone who was super skinny worried about being fat. Depends on the person. Sometimes the thoughts are completely imaginary, sometimes there is some basis in reality.

I think all this means if you have emotions and are a sensitive person. I think these traits can be used as a positive. I much prefer sensitive people to callous people.

Mine says something similar- he puts emphasis on the 'high-functioning' concept and says that most people can phase into high-functioning mode for a period of time and then back into whatever typical NT thought comprises of. We, or those on the spectrum, himself included, don't quite have the luxury of that and are indefinitely stuck in high gear.

It sounds great, right? All those normie suckers having to willingly switch on the part of the mind that we live in by default to get $#it done; if you look at it in that light, we're actually superior, godlike machines right?

Unfortunately it isn't the case. NT's have their usual 'dead$#it mode' of operation to protect them from things like the heightened anxiety you're describing. If it's any consolation, I can completely relate, especially to the feelings of death or impending death thing... To the point where I've willingly not done things, be it staying at home or avoiding a certain situation, just in case I, or those I cared about, died in some freak accident. I recently caught myself thinking about it over the fact that I want to move and integrate my sense of creativity more wholly into my life... 'What if I put all this effort in, get to where I want to be and get hit by a bus?'

As far as the sensation of being connected to negative energies etc, I went through a very similar process of thought over the last couple of years. It's a good opportunity to get into meditation, yoga, spiritual philosophy etc and fully explore it. Come to your own conclusions from what you find both in your own thoughts and the material presented to you.

As far as the more dreadful thoughts, I found that once I could really acknowledge them as anxious thoughts I was able to start reasoning with them. As I mentioned above, I'm still dealing with them but I'm feeling a lot less controlled by them now.

P.S.

*constructs soapbox*

*stands on soapbox*

Whilst this is an incredibly hypocritical thing to say given my own past, I do have to mention that if you're experiencing feelings like that and you're using drugs to try and cope with them, transform them or blot them out... You're gonna have a bad time. It sucks, but it's true.
If this is the case, I highly recommend you avoid the unnecessary crappy bit (ie overly pronounced mental health issues, addiction etc,) and skip straight to the yoga part.

*hangs head in shame and thinks of every single thing he's ever done wrong until 4am*

Sounds like me. My paranoid streak told me that I was going to lose my job because of incompetence and trying to stand up for my rights, that I'd fail to get benefits, have my home repossessed, and starve. The house would collapse anyway from structural neglect. I would forget to pay my bills and they'd cut my electricity off and drag me through the courts to recoup the money with costs. I would be caught if I broke the law in the smallest way. My computer would break down and I'd lose tons of precious work. I would get beaten up or run over if I walked the street. I would offend all my friends and they would shun me forever. My health would soon break. Any aches and pains I didn't fully understand were signs of an undiagnosed terminal disease. I wasn't eating enough healthy food so I would get stomach or bowel cancer. I would get lung cancer because I used to smoke heavily. The city pollution would kill me too. So would the lack of exercise. If my heart seemed to be beating quickly or strangely, I was of course about to have a heart attack. If I felt groggy, I was about to have a stroke. However I died, it would be slow and painful, and under fluorescent lights in an uncaring hospital. If I was inactive, important undone tasks would be the death of me. Being lazy and incompetent, even if I did try to get some work done, I'd mess it up, and there was probably something much more urgent I ought to be doing anyway. If a loved one was unexpectedly not there, they must have been killed or had decided to abandon me.

The only anxiety that has gone away is the fear of losing the job and having no money, because I saved up and quit. All those things are normal causes of concern for a normal person, but they haunt me, I can't rest until I've sorted them all out. I vary rarely get physically anxious these days, apart from a little bit of shaking, and I've hardly ever bothered others with my paranoid rubbish, and I know intellectually that it's irrational to let it worry me so much, but it's still there.