Do people claim you're a bully? Advice?

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First, my disclaimer - I don't have ASD myself, I just fall into that hazy zone between NT and Aspie, which means I can generally blend in with run of the mill NTs and am just seen as being a little (okay, a lot) weird. That said, my sister's an Aspie, and I have several friends on the spectrum. I know three isn't a big group of people to generalize from, especially since one of them isn't technically diagnosed (just identical to my sister in every way), but I'm beginning to notice a pattern. In two of the cases, dorm-mates claimed that the person on the spectrum was a bully, in cases where (to me) it was clear that they just weren't reading a situation right/being too blunt. They then used that claim to legitimately bully the person on the spectrum...acting like they were invisible, whispering about them when they leave the room (or, in some cases, while they're still nearby), being passive-aggressive, turning others against the person on the spectrum, and generally ostracizing them and being horrible. With the third person, none of that happened - the other two instances had been with girls on the spectrum, and this was a guy, plus the time that we were living together was only for a summer rather than for a whole year, although I don't know if either factor had anything to do with it. That said, there was an incident that happened where he misread a social situation and embarrassed one of the other girls on our trip in front of an audience. Everyone got angry with him and I could see the same roots that the other two situations had.

Before you ask, yes, I tried to stop the bullying the first two times (the third situation never got all that bad). The first time, I flat out told the people involved that they were being bullies, and even went to my RA. The RA either didn't believe me or tacitly agreed with the bullies, and I learned the hard way that it's impossible to convince someone that they're being a bully when they're convinced that the other person is a bully (although I tried - it certainly didn't help with my popularity any, as you might imagine). Nothing changed from my talking, although people did eventually get better as they got to know the girl involved. The second time, which was with my sister, I was more straightforward with the dorm-mates involved, never using the term bully, just pointing out how different problem situations had their roots with ASD (my sister's very open with the diagnosis) and trying to be really nice about the whole thing. As a result of that, we were told that we had misled the roommate about what ASD involved (yes, somehow this was our fault despite the fact that she volunteered [unsolicited] to room with my sister of her own accord ALREADY KNOWING that she had Asperger's), and I'm pretty sure that I myself have now been labeled a bully. It's just ridiculous.

Anyways, I was wondering if anyone else had any similar experiences being labeled as a bully? Any advice on how to deal with this sort of situation? Help would be greatly appreciated because I'm just not sure what else to do. Thanks!

I don't have any advice but yes, I have been called a bully, a dirty (sports) player and a cheater recently quite a bit. This infuriates me because if anyone spent more than 5 minutes they would see that I am about the furthest thing from a bully that you can get, especially after what I lived through growing up. Ridiculous indeed.

I don't think I've ever been called a bully, although I have been called an a**hole plenty of times by some people, but the reality is, I'm not that hard to get along with, it's just that some people push me beyond my limits and I tend to get in their face because they don't know how to shut up unless I do so (and sometimes not even then). I'm actually a fairly nice guy, maybe one of the nicest people would ever meet.