Accepting one's autism = regressing?

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I had someone in my family comment on 'since I decided to accept my condition my life is moving backward' and cited how much more outgoing and independent I was (when I had the money to do all these things) and that I had a steady business before I started 'listening to all those people online". I was dealing with my clients drying up before I began exploring "well gee, maybe I do have a condition" but in the eyes of this person it's perfectly fine for a mutually known party to have job offers mysteriously vanish for them. The bottom line is yes I do feel more symptomatic when I don't have 2 pennies to rub together.

I'd been reading Michael John Carley's book and he mentioned the difference between having a genuine pursuit of interests and having a 'set of skills that falls into your lap' - a majority of how I've been able to contribute more financially is in an area slightly out of my zone, and that has built up to the point of triggering at the thought of engaging in this offshoot and I don't see my particular focus as regaining the capacity to be sustainable for little more than personal pleasure. This family member has a pattern of lecturing me when funds are low

But again I was outwardly more 'well' when I had the luxury to go off and travel practically at will, though it's acceptable for others to sit around the house 24/7, even with my extra income so sporadic I still make an effort to be constantly doing something. How can these people not see that?

Does not sound like you are regressing at all. It sounds like you know what you need and have accepted yourself and are allowing yourself to grow. Keep it up

They may very well be noticing something which is going on with you. There is a process which happens to many ASD people when they discover they have the condition which to other people might seem like they are going backwards. This is because we begin, either consciously or subconsciously, to examine the coping strategies we have built up over the years, the things we do to hide our difficulties, and the levels of stress we put ourselves under to perform in a way others perceive as normal. We realise a lot of these things are having a negative effect on us and loosen our hold on them so we can connect with our more natural way of interacting with the world. Understanding that we have an ASD gives us a new insight into the way our minds work and with that new understanding we are able to take apart the things we learned so we could "cope" in an NT world, and better understand which of them to discard and which to continue, as well as develop new and healthier ways of interacting with the world based on our new information. This may include explaining your condition to some people in order to have more authentic and enjoyable relationships with them and so you no longer feel under constant pressure to pass as a NT person.

This is an incredibly important process and is in no way "going backwards". It is very much going forward - it is an important period of growth and increased comfort for you as a person. Because all other people see on the outside is that we seem to be passing less well as NT, it makes them uncomfortable, and they might complain about it. Ignore them, or if you care about them, try to explain what is going on in a way they can understand it. They are not you and they have no idea what is going on internally, and nor can they (assuming they are NT) offer you any useful advice about your situation.

on the contrary, I think acceptance is step one of the 'healing' process.

Sounds about right actually.

Acceptance, I think, can lead to a period that might look like regression to everyone but ourselves. Acceptance caused me to realize that maybe there really were certain things about myself I could not change. For a time, I kind of gave up trying. Stopped acting or faking anything. That alone will look like regression when really all I was doing was just being myself. No masks.

It's a stage I think we all have to go through. But we don't have to get stuck in it.

Correlation/causation fallacy.

Your family believes that because your independence level dropped around the same time you accepted your autism diagnosis, that the one must have caused the other. That is a fallacy.

It's like saying, "I had a car accident on Friday. Therefore, Fridays cause car accidents. Therefore, I will never drive on Fridays again."

...yeah, pretty ridiculous, no?

It's likely that the cause-effect is the other way around--the decrease in your independence made you start to search for reasons why you might be having trouble, which led to your acceptance of your diagnosis. It's easy to pretend you're not-really-disabled when things are going okay and you lucked out with a good situation where you don't need accommodations.

I don't think of it as regressing.

My own view is that it's kinda like realizing you're driving down the wrong road, turning the car around to go back to the last junction, and then starting to drive towards your destination.

No longer lost - now finally heading towards where you need to be.

DING! We have a winner! ^^^

Priorities change, and self realisations impact heavily.... its good for you to put self before money [for a whiles]
Sadly, your observant friends dont value you changing
and want you the way you were

And its aspies that are supposed to dislike change!
I hope you find your destination

Sometimes reading this is encouraging. I can relate to this. Since people have been aware of it, it's been harder to be myself. I sometimes think that people just think that things have "changed" because they are looking at me differently than before now.

Accepting one's AS doesn't inherently mean you are regressing.

Now, if you get diagnosed, and throw out everything you've learned about being social, and start behaving like a stereotypical rude aspergian that would be.