What are the autistic things that happen in your day to day

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Stoek
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30 Dec 2012, 1:36 pm

What I mean is what are those events in your day to day that tell you your an aspie.

We've all I've assumed at some point gone thought we were completely normal.At a point we learn we are not typical.

when this happened what were the parts of your day that told you that you were not like everyone else.

I'm not talking about things that could also be said about nt's, like I'm lonely, I don't have many friends, I have trouble at work.

I mean actual things where you knew you did it only because your autistic.

All I got is stimming, beyond that, I'd really have to think.



whirlingmind
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30 Dec 2012, 1:40 pm

Being unable to manage my executive dysfunction.

Being anxious a lot of the time.

Feeling unbearably overwhelmed when my youngest has one of her meltdowns, the second it starts. (Ditto her obsessive questioning)

Being highly stressed if I have an appointment to go to.

Being angry/stressed if my routine is messed up.

Stimming.

Zoning out.

Being unable to stop doing something I want, such as going on the computer, because I feel such a strong urge to continue even though it's messing other things up.

Not feeling the urge to socialise with others, just every few days realising I need to get out of the house, but not to meet up with/see other people.


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Stoek
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30 Dec 2012, 1:48 pm

whirlingmind wrote:
Being unable to manage my executive dysfunction.

Being anxious a lot of the time.

Feeling unbearably overwhelmed when my youngest has one of her meltdowns, the second it starts. (Ditto her obsessive questioning)

Being highly stressed if I have an appointment to go to.

Being angry/stressed if my routine is messed up.

Stimming.

Zoning out.

Being unable to stop doing something I want, such as going on the computer, because I feel such a strong urge to continue even though it's messing other things up.

Not feeling the urge to socialise with others, just every few days realising I need to get out of the house, but not to meet up with/see other people.


Obviously the situation with you daughter goes beyond yourself.

The stimming of course is an autistic habit.

The excecutive function issue is something a head shrink would say, I'd think you might have other words for it.

The rest especially the anxiety can be a trait in nt's.

This is kinda what I'm getting at.

We're told everything about us, is a result of AS, when reality is it's a much smaller fraction.



whirlingmind
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30 Dec 2012, 1:51 pm

The difference is the depth of reaction or feeling in someone with AS for any of those things, as well as the combination of all the things together. I was an anxious child and was on tranquilisers at age 12. This would be considerably rarer for the average NT.

An NT parent would have more patience and a less extreme/instant reaction to a child with AS's meltdowns. For me, her meltdowns are virtually daily, so it's an everyday experience, just as it would be for an NT parent of an autistic child.

Executive dysfunction is the name used freely on this site and elsewhere to describe in a nutshell the problems faced in things such as time-keeping, organisation, working memory etc. It's the correct term that encompasses it and is not the sole preserve of clinicians to use such a term.

An NT could have most of those things yes, maybe even all, but only one or two not all of them and not affected so deeply by them.

One other I forgot to mention is the sensory issues. In my case it's sensitivity to noise, light, strong colours, smells, touch, internal organs etc.


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AgentPalpatine
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30 Dec 2012, 2:08 pm

whirlingmind wrote:
An NT parent would have more patience and a less extreme/instant reaction to a child with AS's meltdowns. For me, her meltdowns are virtually daily, so it's an everyday experience, just as it would be for an NT parent of an autistic child.


Whirlingmind, I'm not sure I'm following this sentence.


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Stoek
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30 Dec 2012, 2:16 pm

whirlingmind wrote:
The difference is the depth of reaction or feeling in someone with AS for any of those things, as well as the combination of all the things together. I was an anxious child and was on tranquilisers at age 12. This would be considerably rarer for the average NT.

An NT parent would have more patience and a less extreme/instant reaction to a child with AS's meltdowns. For me, her meltdowns are virtually daily, so it's an everyday experience, just as it would be for an NT parent of an autistic child.

Executive dysfunction is the name used freely on this site and elsewhere to describe in a nutshell the problems faced in things such as time-keeping, organisation, working memory etc. It's the correct term that encompasses it and is not the sole preserve of clinicians to use such a term.

An NT could have most of those things yes, maybe even all, but only one or two not all of them and not affected so deeply by them.

One other I forgot to mention is the sensory issues. In my case it's sensitivity to noise, light, strong colours, smells, touch, internal organs etc.


First off with your daughter, I'll agree that your response will be differ, but I think it's easy to say what you said, without realizing you may be far better at dealing with certain aspects of it than you realize. You have an insiders view of what she's going through, so although you may feel what she's going through more intensely you may also be far better at helping her.

Second with the EF issue, it's complicated I'll agree, and I guess it can't be denied that it is the one detail that is pretty common. However I also think it's important to understand the context from which this issue arises. We live in a world, and time, and location, where everything is geared towards one neurological orientation.

Our orientation may prefer different specs, we don't know because quite frankly they're not even considered. This isn't a bad thing, it's great that their is potential.

A simple example is that of the clock. It's taken for granted that abstract symbols, being pointed to is the best way to tell accurate time. And the position of the arm around the circle works best.

I have to ask, what if we used light to tell time. Maybe have a light with a blue tinge in the morning, yellow at mid day, and red by evening. How would that change things.

I know that might seem like a silly idea, but it highlights a typical problem, that may not be of our own doing .
I know personally when I'm in the woods mid summer, I can tell you the time by following the sun within a 15 minute window. Now granted in winter with no sunlight, I can't even tell you which section of the day we are in. But it just goes to prove that the problem is directly effected by how you frame it.



PTSmorrow
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30 Dec 2012, 2:26 pm

Stoek wrote:
What I mean is what are those events in your day to day that tell you your an aspie.

We've all I've assumed at some point gone thought we were completely normal.At a point we learn we are not typical.

when this happened what were the parts of your day that told you that you were not like everyone else.

I'm not talking about things that could also be said about nt's, like I'm lonely, I don't have many friends, I have trouble at work.

I mean actual things where you knew you did it only because your autistic.

All I got is stimming, beyond that, I'd really have to think.


I wish you would stop spreading stupid and thoughtless utterances like " ... We've all assumed ..." How could you possibly know what other people have assumed, especially all of them?

"... thought we were completely normal ..." WTF are you playing here? Mind reader?

What told me "... that you were not like everyone else. ..."

Well, I looked around and figured that I don't see a huge pile of idiots called everyone else, let alone being part of that fictitious, non--existing group, but I realized that there are only individuals.



Stoek
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30 Dec 2012, 2:49 pm

PTSmorrow wrote:
Stoek wrote:
What I mean is what are those events in your day to day that tell you your an aspie.

We've all I've assumed at some point gone thought we were completely normal.At a point we learn we are not typical.

when this happened what were the parts of your day that told you that you were not like everyone else.

I'm not talking about things that could also be said about nt's, like I'm lonely, I don't have many friends, I have trouble at work.

I mean actual things where you knew you did it only because your autistic.

All I got is stimming, beyond that, I'd really have to think.


I wish you would stop spreading stupid and thoughtless utterances like " ... We've all assumed ..." How could you possibly know what other people have assumed, especially all of them?

"... thought we were completely normal ..." WTF are you playing here? Mind reader?

What told me "... that you were not like everyone else. ..."

Well, I looked around and figured that I don't see a huge pile of idiots called everyone else, let alone being part of that fictitious, non--existing group, but I realized that there are only individuals.


Sorry you've lost me at we've. When I said we've who is the we. All aspies, al 70 million of them or the 35 million that are diagnosed, or the 7 billion that may be born, or the 70 trillion that exist in the galaxy.

I'm sorry if I'm not coming here to bicker.



1000Knives
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30 Dec 2012, 3:14 pm

Friend asks "What do you wanna do?"

Me: Cook!

Other friend: You're supposed to ask the other person what they wanna do!



Radiofixr
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30 Dec 2012, 3:38 pm

I get an idea in my mind and obsess about that singular idea
I have meltdowns and shutdowns when overwhelmed
I rock and hand flap


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whirlingmind
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30 Dec 2012, 4:20 pm

Stoek wrote:
First off with your daughter, I'll agree that your response will be differ, but I think it's easy to say what you said, without realizing you may be far better at dealing with certain aspects of it than you realize. You have an insiders view of what she's going through, so although you may feel what she's going through more intensely you may also be far better at helping her.


You'd think so but it doesn't always work like that. Whilst I may have insight into her sensory issues because of my own, I did not meltdown in the way she does as a child, I was very passive and spent a lot of time alone reading. I did repetitively question, but she does it in a more extreme way - ranting questions and following me from room to room and will not give up, wanting to over-analyse every sentence I utter. She makes me feel like having meltdowns with her tantrums when normally I'd be more prone to a shutdown - unless pushed excessively. She also has very clear language problems, more severe than I would have had, and as an adult I've learned a lot over the years, never having had her level of difficulty I don't easily know how to help her. When you can't solve a problem logically, and you are getting persistent overwhelming input you are least able to help effectively. Don't forget, each individual on the spectrum is different and has their own blend and degree of the characteristics, related or not. So it doesn't hold that having more insight as someone on the spectrum I am better than an NT parent. I get hung up on the details of her behaviour!


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whirlingmind
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30 Dec 2012, 4:22 pm

AgentPalpatine wrote:
whirlingmind wrote:
An NT parent would have more patience and a less extreme/instant reaction to a child with AS's meltdowns. For me, her meltdowns are virtually daily, so it's an everyday experience, just as it would be for an NT parent of an autistic child.


Whirlingmind, I'm not sure I'm following this sentence.


What don't you understand? It's just me saying that my coping skills are less than the average NT because of having AS. The OPs question was something about what things on a daily basis make you know that you have AS, this was one of my examples.


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League_Girl
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30 Dec 2012, 4:34 pm

1000Knives wrote:
Friend asks "What do you wanna do?"

Me: Cook!

Other friend: You're supposed to ask the other person what they wanna do!



So it was supposed to go like this:


Friend asks: What do you wanna do?

You: What do you wanna do?


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Nibs91
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30 Dec 2012, 4:51 pm

The level of uncomfort I get from socializing...whether it be in person, on the phone, or a forum. Whether it be a stranger, a friend, or a family member.



AgentPalpatine
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30 Dec 2012, 6:08 pm

PTSmorrow wrote:
I wish you would stop spreading stupid and thoughtless utterances like " ... We've all assumed ..." How could you possibly know what other people have assumed, especially all of them?

"... thought we were completely normal ..." WTF are you playing here? Mind reader?

What told me "... that you were not like everyone else. ..."

Well, I looked around and figured that I don't see a huge pile of idiots called everyone else, let alone being part of that fictitious, non--existing group, but I realized that there are only individuals.


Without putting words into the OP's post, I believe he is stating his belief that most spectrumites on WP reach a point where (the spectrumite) comes to the conclusion that they are not "normal". Since we're on a forum (wrongplanet) who's name suggests that we feel different from others, it might not be an unfounded belief.


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