Social Skills

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are there any good books or advice to help those with aspergers syndrome to develop and understand social skills?

Yes, there are books available that can assist those with Asperger's Syndrome learn, develop, and understand social skills (Some are in Kindle Format). Some of these books include the following:

The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism by Sean Barron & Temple Grandin
The Hidden Curriculum by Brenda Smith Myles, et. al.
How To Start a Conversation and Make Friends by Don Gabor (Although this book is intended for NTs, Tony Attwood mentions this as a useful resource in The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome)
Asperger's Syndrome & Sexuality: From Adolescence to Adulthood by Isabelle Henault (The main focus on this book is sexuality, even though there is a chapter on social skills)

Also worth noting is the website http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/. The creator of the site has AS and also lists additional books to use for social skills.

I will be honest in saying that even though I have read portions of the above resources, I still find it difficult to implement what I learn but, nevertheless am confident that I will get there and realize that these books and the website are a great reference to go back to.

I'm just in the middle of reading Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships by Temple Grandin (who is autistic herself). She has some very useful insights into how the world works in ways that are not always obvious to some of us.

Reading books is good if you don't know the 'rules' already, but to really learn social skills the only way is to go out and practice.

I have just read the part about "Invitations". The funny thing is, that I can do that. I can ask dumb questions like "how was your week-end" and "have you seen that new movie". I have learned these techniques by copying other people and seeing how it works.

However,

(1) I feel absolutely fake when I do it since I dont care at all about such plain questions and I really dont care what someone did during their weekend or whenever.

(2) It s no fun for me to listen to these boring things.

(3) What I really want to do is to discuss one topic in extreme detail. No matter what the topic is and turn it in every direction. Starting with every person in the world from zero again and having this "hello how are you" is just a massive waste of time. (I know I shouldnt think like that...)

So somehow I think that I know a lot of these techniques, but how do you generate fun while using them?

Social Skills? What's that? are you typing in some foreign language?

Unfortunately for me, I'm at the age where I just don't care enough about fitting in that much anymore. Plus I've had enough trail and error to be enough in the ballpark for my satisfaction.

I sure could've used that reading material in my 20's and 30's though, that's for sure.

I know this book is somewhat disliked on here (mostly from people who haven't read it), but Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends And Influence People is still a classic in my eyes and it's one of the most helpful resources out there.