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shortcircuit3
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20 Jul 2013, 7:05 am

have you ever had people laugh at you (and known they were laughing at you) but not understood why? particularly when you haven't said or done anything with the intention of being funny? i had this experience a lot in childhood and it continually crops up in adulthood whenever i get around groups of people. i wonder if other people have had similar experiences and if they have any insight into what it means.



tiorthan
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20 Jul 2013, 7:15 am

It happens to me from time to time. Usually, I do find out what it meant at some point but, I hate to dissappoint, there is no general rule to tell you what it means. It may be that something you did or said is thought to be humorous or that you may have missed some inside joke or ...



Aspie1
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20 Jul 2013, 9:20 am

It happened to me more times than I can count. It's why nothing evokes more anxiety in me than the sound of laughter, excluding situations like comedy plays in theaters. So when I hang out any group other that really close friends, I avoid doing anything out-of-the-ordinary (which most often provokes laughter in NTs) to the best of my efforts. I don't speak unless spoken to or feel that it's absolutely necessary to say something. I stand and sit in the same position as the people around me. And until recently (when smoking became really uncool), I found that chain-smoking cigarettes kept me from doing anything that made NTs laugh.

It's still not foolproof. If I hear people laughing, I ask "what's so funny?" If they don't give me a straight answer, it a 100% guarantee that they were laughing at me. After all, in NTs' eyes, the best laughter is when the victim doesn't know he's the victim. I then tough it out the rest of the night, and never hang out with those people again. Over the last five years, my friendship-making skills got good enough that I can afford to do that. I just wish I was strong enough to punch someone when they're laughing at me instead of cutting off contact.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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20 Jul 2013, 1:58 pm

I can kind of abruptly bring up topics. In addition, I have a nasal voice. Kind of like Coach K. of the Duke Blue Devils but even more so.



hanyo
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20 Jul 2013, 2:54 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
It happened to me more times than I can count. It's why nothing evokes more anxiety in me than the sound of laughter, excluding situations like comedy plays in theaters.


I feel the same way. I think because of all the bullying and mistreatment I had in school other people laughing when I don't know why they are makes me uncomfortable. It could be at me.

A while ago there was a topic in the parents forum about it being normal to join in and laugh when someone is laughing hysterically for no apparent reason, contagious laughter I guess? Their kid didn't do that. I don't either and get very uncomfortable in those situations.

I've provoked hysterical laughter from people before without knowing why.



Willard
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20 Jul 2013, 2:56 pm

I developed an absurdist sense of humor and and deadpan comedic delivery as a child to combat just that sort of anxiety. I figured if people were going to snicker and think I was weird, I would beat them to the punch and be weird on purpose to throw them off. I learned to use obscure puns and non-sequitur to make them feel like it was they who were inferior, because most of my jokes went over their heads. It also helped me to make a few friends and allies much more quickly than I might have otherwise, because those who did "get it" were immediately drawn to someone else who shared their eclectic sense of humor. :twisted:



BeggingTurtle
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20 Jul 2013, 3:11 pm

No. I still don't. I'm selective about my friends, so they don't do that.


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chlov
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20 Jul 2013, 3:48 pm

I've had people laughing at me in the past because of things I did or said, and didn't realize it was because of it because up to the age of 11 I could neither realize I was being teased.
Then, looking back, I realized it was because I was being teased.
Too bad for people that I couldn't bring myself to care about it.
It still happens now, I know it is because I am being teased but most of the times I can't understand why. Whatever...

The same happened to my father in school and sometimes still happens at work (but rarely), when asked why he says he doesn't know nor cares. He's pretty much like me about this.
He is not diagnosed with AS but he is with schizoid features. He also has a lot of AS traits.



jk1
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20 Jul 2013, 4:16 pm

Yes. I feel the same as some of the posters above: I feel uncomfortable when people laugh around me for no apparent reason because it has often been me that they are laughing at. My childhood bullying and ostracism have made me wary of people who laugh/giggle etc. Even now as an adult it happens at work. They only do that when they are in a group, which shows that they are cowards. It even happens when I'm in public surrounded by strangers. I have long known that I am not the same as other people and if I behave in my natural way, it looks weird and laughable to others. That's why I'm usually uncomfortable around people.