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VincentRabbit
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08 Dec 2013, 11:14 am

I just came back from the shop. On my way back from there a man aged 64 (he told me his age) started chatting with me as we walked down a snowy slope at the same time. He began the conversation by saying something similair to "Let's hope we don't fall now" and I answered "Yes, let's hope". I thought that was all he'd say 'cause that kind of random remarks are quite common coming from a chatty person (which he certainly appeared to be).

He told me where he lived and then asked me where I myself lived and I replied that it was in the same area. Then he began telling me short stories of the houses in the area and the people he had known there, (he had lived on the same street all his life). I love stories and learning new things but the whole time it felt as if though he was invading my space thoroughly; walking way to near me and almost causing me to stumble and leaning in far too close to my face when talking with me. Now I tried to create some distance discreetely when he did this (not wanting to cause him any offence) but it resultet in him following me and us both walking in the middle of the road when cars were coming.

It turned out that we lived on the same street and I told him that I had to go because we were right outside my house then. He talked some more and looked at me a lot (although of course he couldn't know that I find people looking at me extremely uncomfortable) and then he asked my name and pointed towards his own house, saying that maybe I could come by some time and we could talk some more. How he used to chase women around when he was younger but now he was to tired to do so and how he did have a female friend whom he visited in the summers (I'm not sure why he told me this).

Now the reason as of why I'm writing this is that the whole time I had this urge to run away (pretty common amongst people on the spectrum I guess but it wasn't just the usual "I'm uncomfortable and wanna run away"-ness, it was that I actually felt scared). Everytime the man leaned in he smelled really strongly as well of alcohole. So now I'm writing this (with a pair of scissors beside me in case he would come and knock at my door) wondering if I'm overreacting, seeing that I'm not really used to dealing with drunk people and after all he might just have been an old, harmless, lonely man who wanted a chat. Is this usual behaviour or is it something I should be feeling so anxious about?

Thank you a lot for any reply.



bumble
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08 Dec 2013, 11:17 am

Men do this sometimes.

I have a neighbour who keeps popping around whilst drunk to try for sex every time he argues with his girlfriend. I keep sending him home. They are usually pesky but harmless if you just politely tell them to leave or that you have to go.



AspieTurtle
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08 Dec 2013, 11:21 am

I am sorry your space was not respected. ugg.
Practice what you will say should he show up.
I sometimes will pretend I am on the phone with my police officer boyfriiend who is on the way to visit with lunch or whatever. I have no such boyfriend.But it helps me run off strange men who try to invade my space.



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08 Dec 2013, 12:47 pm

I agree with bumble and Turtle. He could be harmless, but you'll never know. If he's going to insist on bothering you in the future, it's best you tell him off, and say that you're not comfortable with how he's speaking to you.


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08 Dec 2013, 3:30 pm

VincentRabbit wrote:
he might just have been an old, harmless, lonely man who wanted a chat. Is this usual behaviour or is it something I should be feeling so anxious about?

Thank you a lot for any reply.


The simplest explanation is usually the correct one. He was probably just an overly friendly lonely drunk. I've met many over my years of bartending. Chances are you have nothing to worry about and your anxiety levels over the matter are really just you overreacting to irrational fears of someone being up to no good vs. just being a drunk old man. Relax, take a deep breath, have a hot cup of tea, take a long hot bath and just let things be as they actually are vs. how you fear they are.. because he's actually at his place and you're at yours and he's not about to come crashing through your door looking for conversation or anything else.


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08 Dec 2013, 3:33 pm

I've always been fascinated by drunk people.


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Willard
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08 Dec 2013, 3:44 pm

VincentRabbit wrote:
How he used to chase women around when he was younger but now he was to tired to do so and how he did have a female friend whom he visited in the summers (I'm not sure why he told me this).


He told you that in an attempt to put you at ease, so you wouldn't feel he was aggressively attempting to seduce you. Which was probably just a drunken way of trying to cover for the fact that that was exactly what he was hoping to do. :wink:

He probably went home and passed out. :drunken:

Surely if he had a reputation for harassing women in the neighborhood and he's lived there all his life, you'd have heard of him before. :?



redrobin62
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08 Dec 2013, 3:54 pm

The sad thing is I may end up as that man years from now.



bumble
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08 Dec 2013, 4:05 pm

Willard wrote:
VincentRabbit wrote:
How he used to chase women around when he was younger but now he was to tired to do so and how he did have a female friend whom he visited in the summers (I'm not sure why he told me this).


He told you that in an attempt to put you at ease, so you wouldn't feel he was aggressively attempting to seduce you. Which was probably just a drunken way of trying to cover for the fact that that was exactly what he was hoping to do. :wink:

He probably went home and passed out. :drunken:

Surely if he had a reputation for harassing women in the neighborhood and he's lived there all his life, you'd have heard of him before. :?


If the OP is anything like me she never gets to hear any of the local gossip. I never seem to know what my neighbours are doing, I hardly even know what their names yet they seem to know all about me!



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08 Dec 2013, 6:06 pm

i have never met a drunk person. i have only ever seen it on television.


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The_Walrus
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08 Dec 2013, 6:57 pm

Drunk strangers can be quite intimidating, particularly when they ask you all kinds of personal questions.



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09 Dec 2013, 12:07 am

Drunks can be very intruding. I've had a drunk try to come on to me a couple of times. I told both of them that there was no way that I'd allow myself to be penetrated by anyone.


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AutisticMillionaire
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09 Dec 2013, 3:21 am

Willard wrote:
VincentRabbit wrote:
How he used to chase women around when he was younger but now he was to tired to do so and how he did have a female friend whom he visited in the summers (I'm not sure why he told me this).


He told you that in an attempt to put you at ease, so you wouldn't feel he was aggressively attempting to seduce you. Which was probably just a drunken way of trying to cover for the fact that that was exactly what he was hoping to do. :wink:

He probably went home and passed out. :drunken:

Surely if he had a reputation for harassing women in the neighborhood and he's lived there all his life, you'd have heard of him before. :?


Willard hit the nail on the head, the guys an old creeper. What older man starts talking about his sex life to strangers? A creeper does.

Also don't use scissors to defend yourself, get a kitchen knife if you feel you need an improvised weapon.


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09 Dec 2013, 4:41 pm

AutisticMillionaire wrote:
Willard wrote:
VincentRabbit wrote:
How he used to chase women around when he was younger but now he was to tired to do so and how he did have a female friend whom he visited in the summers (I'm not sure why he told me this).


He told you that in an attempt to put you at ease, so you wouldn't feel he was aggressively attempting to seduce you. Which was probably just a drunken way of trying to cover for the fact that that was exactly what he was hoping to do. :wink:

He probably went home and passed out. :drunken:

Surely if he had a reputation for harassing women in the neighborhood and he's lived there all his life, you'd have heard of him before. :?


Willard hit the nail on the head, the guys an old creeper. What older man starts talking about his sex life to strangers? A creeper does.

Also don't use scissors to defend yourself, get a kitchen knife if you feel you need an improvised weapon.


I think a knife crosses the boundary dividing improvised weapons and just plain weapons.



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09 Dec 2013, 5:05 pm

I think you are probably overreacting. I don't think he's gonna hurt you, I think he is probably just lonely and wanted to talk to somebody. If he knocks on the door you don't have to answer.

As for the scissors, I really wouldn't suggest any type of blade as a defensive weapon unless you know how to use it, especially scissors. While it may look easy on tv and in the movies to defend yourself with something like that, in reality it isn't. Lots of people will probably comment and say that I'm wrong, but most of them will probably be people who have never been in a knife fight or people who have been lucky once with a blade or people who think that just seeing a blade in your hand will intimidate someone else. If you really feel like you need a weapon to defend yourself then I'd suggest a handgun, and also learning safety and how to use it. A blade is likely to be taken away from you easily and used against you.