Being trapped in your own head/mind

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Is being trapped in your own head/mind (i.e. constantly analyzing life instead of living it) more a consequence of

- A depressed Asperger mind (e.g. constantly trying to solve social issues in one's mind analytically)

or

- Aspergers Syndrome itself (i.e. something all people with AS do constantly no matter depression-status due to for instance sensory-overload)

??


I am beginning to suspect the reason I cannot escape my own mind is because I am in fact depressed, not simply because of having AS.


I have more or less lost interest in the world because of negative social experiences.

I don't know.
I am not depressed and I am not constantly analyzing life (I am no good philosopher and I don't get philosophy) but my father is not depressed either and he analyzes life a lot.
Most of my abstract thinking is spent in daydreaming, my imaginary world and what might happen in the future; I don't analyze real life much, unless I am in my sadness moments. When I am sad I analyze real life.

I know what you mean. I do that a lot, too.

I think it's the former. If it were the latter, then you would've been like that all your life. But I assume that's not the case.

I think I'm in that state, too. I lost the motivation to do anything. I'm just surviving.

I hope you'll feel better soon. You may need to see an ASD-experienced psychologist/psychiatrist if it's really bad.

The main question is "Are you depressed"? If so, seek some meds, please. You're world in your head will still be there, but it will be a happier place.

Hi jk1.

Thanks for your answer.

I was bullied/group-pressured out of my job and have been depressive since. I think I am feeling worse than I am in fact aware of given that I keep contemplating the meaning of life. I cannot fully concentrate on things and find them important because of this. I know these are depressive thoughts. It seems most likely it is the former.

Thank you, I hope you will feel better too soon.

The problem is I am depressed for social reasons. Those reasons do not disappear with meds.

The point of meds is not to make depression disappear but to temporary help a depressive person get better so she can overcome her depression. When you are really depressed, doing anything, however small, looks like an immense challenge. You can't achieve much in that state, including trying to understand why you are in a depression and how to get rid of it. Meds can temporarily help you be more functional so you can at least efficiently focus on the problem. I have no idea if you need meds or not, but don't throw away the idea just because it does not solve the fundamental issues (which is absolutely true). They are only a crutch but they can be a useful one.

But didn't you "live in your head" before you ever got that job, too? You only became AWARE of doing it when you started comparing yourself to NTs who don't.

An AS friend of mine was once upset because her boyfriend told her, "You think too much." I was appalled and told her, "That's like saying 'You breathe too much'." Thinking is what brains are for. I refuse to believe there is anything wrong with having an inner life.

I suspect it is symptomatic of ASD.

I know that depression amplifies it enormously.

Be nice if there were a "control me" so's to give an accurate, objective reply...

Chicken/egg. It's all AS related.

Take a look at my avatar. That's precisely how I feel.

Living in my mind, observing the world, but often feeling as if I am the motor (to use an automotive analogy) am revving all the time, but something's not working in the transmission, and consequently I am always in neutral. That's what it feels like. Life in meditation.

To engage the world is painful, and often when I try to engage myself into it, nothing happens.

But it has nothing to do with depression, as I am generally calm and contented on the inside. Only when the frustration of not being able to effect things gets to me, do I then get angry and sad. But eventually it subsides on its own.

I've been depressed so long I don't even remember what life is like without it. I've been on meds for a year and if it's working it's subtle. I'd definitely like to get back into enjoying life and doing the things I used to do. I just got insulted by the landlord this past week for being late with the rent. Part of me feels I deserve the insult, part of me doesn't. That's what depression feels like. Bad things can happen to me and I just shrug.

Well, I've been down so Goddamn long
That it looks like up to me
Well, I've been down so very damn long
That it looks like up to me
Yeah, why don't one you people
C'mon and set me free

I said, warden, warden, warden
Won't you break your lock and key
I said, warden, warden, warden
Won't ya break your lock and key
Yeah, come along here, mister
C'mon and let the poor boy be

Baby, baby, baby
Won't you get down on your knees
Baby, baby, baby
Won't you get down on your knees
C'mon little darlin'
C'mon and give your love to me, oh yeah

Well, I've been down so Goddamn long
That it looks like up to me
Well, I've been down so very damn long
That it looks like up to me
Yeah, why don't one you people
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon and set me free

(Doors)

I feel trap in my mind. Every time I enter into a social situation. I feel like I am driving a car with a very bad wheel alignment. You are spending more time being distracted by fighting the car just to keep it straight on the road instead of enjoying the drive and your still swerving back and forth on the road as well.

Could very well be depression. Although, contemplating the meaning of life doesn't make one depressed, nor does NOT contemplating the meaning of life mean you're not depressed.

Interestingly, I recently learned that ADHD affects the motivation areas of that whole dopaminergic area. Do you feel less depressed when you have caffeine or some other stimulant? (I do)

Anyone who tells you meds will help probably hasn't done proper research about them. They're far more likely to not work than to work. Which still means they're worth a try if you feel you need them, but not worth trying if you have reservations about drugging yourself and you're making do without them.

I've experienced depression for over a decade, the past couple of years I've finally begun to get over it. However, my tiredness and poor ability to focus or motivate myself still exist, possibly even worse than when I was most depressed. What's gotten better is my daily emotions regarding everyday life. Even if I'm a total failure, even if the world is completely unfair, I still want to live, I know I can and do still enjoy many parts of life. I may or may not have the 'proper' emotional response to things that should either make me happy or proud or make me sad or upset. I still suffer from some anhedonia.
My decade of being depressed was nothing like my depression when I was a teenager. Then I was incredibly upset that I had to go to school where I would be teased every day. I could concentrate alright unless something terrible had happened that day, I most definitely looked forward to the school day ending, etc.

I will go within myself whether I'm depressed or not most of the time. My head's interesting. The outside world can of course be incredibly interesting, but I guess I find most daily experiences of living incredibly dull. If I were more energetic like I used to be I'd probably be globe trotting or something, albeit still with a lot of reflective time. Half the point in experiencing something new is being able to mull it over in my head.

qawer: I know how you're feeling and I'm sorry for both of us.

As I am clinically depressed and have always been (super sh***y childhood/adolescence/adulthood), I don't know that I can separate the two. To me, it seems like a chicken/egg question. The fact of our differences is depressing, as is knowing that we miss out on the feeling of being one with other people because of it (or taking comfort from being a part of a group, instead of on our own.) The fact of other's behavior toward our differences is also depressing.

The ASD itself tends to come along with obsession, as well as a 'getting stuck' in which we keep butting our heads against problems because we need them to be solved and believe there must be a solution.

One of the more productive things I've learned to do is to try and let go of unsolvable problems--I do have to keep reminding myself to do it, but sometimes it's not you, it's them, and it's appropriate to 'give' the problem back to them. Sometimes there is literally nothing I can do to make things better (and, frankly, after the fact is a bad time to 'fix' anything). In those cases, I try to remind myself of what is happening now, to disrupt a tendency to keep at "why did this happen/what did I do this time/why am I so messed up" species of thoughts.

If nothing else, I try to distract myself when I'm on that train of thought. It's more productive than beating my head against that wall.