Do you hate surprises?

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Now I have read book after book and watched a few things on Women with Aspergers and Autism and many of them say they buy their own christmas presents because they hate the surprise factor. I love surprises, It doesnt mean I do not get disappointed, and when I was a kid I made it very clear when I was not happy with my Christmas presents or birthday presents, but I do not think I could go as far as to buy my own. The best thing about unwanted presents is that you can regift them years later I think. I dont know though, is it the surprise that bothers other aspies or is it the disappointment or lack of getting what you dont want?

I've always loved getting presents. I do regret I ever complained about any of them because they weren't good enough or it wasn't a real toy. I realize now that is rude behavior and I should be thankful for what I got and do not complain or say anything about it, just say thank you. I would feel rotten now if I complained about a gift I got.

Yes i find it rude now, took a few years growing up to realize I should just say thank you and keep it to myself. Now its the thought that counts and it makes me happy when people think of me enough to get me a gift in the first place

Yeah, I was like that too.. It took me a long time to learn not to complain about presents I didn't like.

OP, I like good surprises, being surprised with things I like. Presents and cake are generally in this category, although I am picky about type of cake. I don't relate to the aspies who hate their birthdays, I love mine.

it is awkward to gracefully accept an inappropriate gift, and tough at times to remember that it is always the thought that counts.

My brother and his common wife got me a late Christmas present, they forgot to give it to me so they gave it to me unwrapped. It was a bottle warmer and I almost said "I'm going to be breast feeding" but stopped myself and just said thanks and set it on the counter and headed out for work. I realized later my husband could still use it to heat up my breast milk instead of having to use the kettle and warm the water up to heat it up like we had to with my son. So the present was useful after all.

In general, I do not like surprises, I do not like dealing with unexpected events, and I especially do not like it when people abruptly change their plans for things in such a way that it affects me. As well, I often don't like it when I receive gifts from people, because I often go through different phases with things, and things that appeal to me one day may not appeal to me the next. As well, most people don't really seem to understand what I like *in general*, so I loathe the idea of getting surprise gifts from them. My finickiness with gifts over the years has actually been bad enough that it has caused many conflicts between myself and members of my family, mainly my dad.

I like having control of things, and knowing what is going to happen, when it's going to happen, and how it is going to happen, so that I can prepare ahead of time. I don't prepare well for unexpected events, so I try to avoid uncertainty as much as possible. Unfortunately, a lot of people (mainly my friends) seem to thrive on uncertainty, and when I try to make plans with them for different things, they invariably fall apart or screw up somehow.

I love surprises.

Scenario 1:
Girlfriend says she's going to buy my this video game I've been waiting 6 months for. She gets it. I'm happy. Awesome.

Scenario 2:
I'm busy planning and saving up and trying to figure out when I can get to the store to buy this video game I've been waiting months for. Girlfriend walks in the door with the game in hand.

Which would bring me more joy? Obviously the second.

I do not like situational surprises like "surprise we are taking you to the beach right now!"
Or "surprise we are going to a Korean restaurant right now!"
But I love getting surprise gifts as much as any kid I suppose.
Just as long as it is not something like, "surprise, it's a boa constrictor!"

I love surprises, especially of the gift and, er, carrot-cake varieties. I don't usually get presents or anything, so it's always nice to know that someone thought of me.

On the other hand, I am not a fan of such pleasant surprises as "surprise zombie apocalypse" or "surprise visit from Aunt Whatserface."

Last edited by Lillikoi on 06 Mar 2014, 1:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Exactly!
For instance, it's my birthday they say we are going to the japanese restaurant and we get in the car. Then: "surprise, we are taking you to a party we made for you right now!" -> (imagine this situation I would totally freak out hehehe glad my parentes know better)
But gifts for instance okay!

I just don't like surprises. I buy my own pressies usually. I find it next to impossible to pretend to be happy with something I don't need or want. I absolutely hate it when I ask for something and then get an unacceptable alternative.
I prefer to give than to receive. I raraly buy gifts without spending a lot of thought on what the person might want or need. Even stocking fillers at X-mas I put thought into.
I don't recycle unwanted pressies either unless I know it is is something that I know a particular person will enjoy. Most of them end up on car boot sales or charity shops after spending some years at the back of the cupboard.
People that know me are very much aware of this with as a results I get few pressies now. I can live with it.

I don't like surprises, but I don't mind not knowing what's in my gift. I just hate being surprised with parties, gifts (as in "hey, I got you this gift" when I wasn't expecting one), trips, visitors, assignments or projects, etc....

I do not get Xmas present except from my mom and I usually know what it is, in terms of category (I.e. Perfume, makeup, or a combination of the two).

THAT ROCKS ! !! !!

My thinking is the same. I guess its not so much the surprise as much as I like to unwrap things. So if it is a present, I tend to get excited about the wrapping paper but I usually end up not wanting the gift someone gets me. I still dont think I could go as far as to buy my own ON christmas. I also am a giver, if the present is not meaningful to a person then I will not get it. It has to have value and I put in months of thought, even throughout the year I get ready for Christmas for good ideas for people. When my boss would have our xmas parties I always brought the regifted presents from my past because she would always do the stupid "bad santa" game with the gifts.

I totally agree with you though.

Yes, I like to prepare for where I am going, I do not like surprises to places unless I know my fiance has scheduled from "this" time to "this" time we will eat and then "this" time to "this" time I am taking you somewhere that is a surprise.

When I have a warning or I know I am going to receive a surprise then I can be more relaxed and prepare myself.