no decision skills?

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Everyone seems to be able to look through a restaraunt menu and choose something they like, when I stare at it and nothing happens? I even try looking through it and still nothing happens! I'm supposed to be like "oh that looks good!" but instead I just keep asking my parents "what should I get" I also can't decide how I want my room arranged, what car I want, etc. Anyone else have that problem?

Yes, it's called "executive dysfunction". Lots of people on the spectrum have it.

Yes.

I've learned ways to deal with it to some extent over the years.
Having defaults for various situations seems to help.

When there are no defaults, I start by finding viable options, then looping them.
If at a restaurant I insist on ordering last and I just pick whichever thing is at the top of the loop when the time comes, as I've made the deal with myself to do so since I get to pick last and hear whateverone else is having first.

Sometimes you just have to act, though.
Assume an affect of confidence, even if the reality is lacking, and act bold.
Pick some examples to mimic at first until you develop your own style.

It's like roleplaying, where you assume the persona of the person doing the thing.
As one of my favorite literary characters once said: "If stealth is impossible, try boldness."
It's effective.
When you act like you know what you're doing, no one questions your actions, and the persona frees you to act as if you had confidence, therefore allowing you to just make decisions as the persona you're in would do.

You know, when I go back & read stuff like this, I realize I might sound a little crazy, and certainly deeply weird.
Can anyone else relate, or is it just me that uses bizzare mental gymnastics to cope with their limitations?

Yup. If I have to go buy a container of ice cream in the supermarket, I will stare at all the options for 20 minutes, calculating, measuring and weighing each decision about how it will affect everyone involved who might ever want to eat it, and try to figure out the best flavor to buy, the most cost effective container to buy, and the most healthy brand to buy (and usually those qualities are at odds with each other). Most times I really can't decide and wind up buying 4 or 5 containers at one time because I couldn't live with the idea of making a mistake and regretting it as soon as I walk out the store. My calculations have gotten a little faster but it can still be debilitating. A credit card is a terrible thing in the hands of someone like me.

What's so annoying about this, at least for me, is that it's not the important decisions this happens with - important decisions have pros and cons I can consider and discuss and make a rational choice (usually tempered with a bit of gut feeling).

But if I have two different things to eat in the fridge for tonight, it'll take me forever to choose one even though it really does not matter which I pick. Same with watching DVDs - I can hem and haw for ages about which one I want to watch tonight. And while I'm doing all this hemming and hawing, I'm not actually doing anything else, so it's an incredible waste of time.

Restaurant menus, to get back to the OP, aren't quite so bad for me, because there usually won't be all that much on them that I even like. As a vegetarian, if I'm really lucky, there will only be one vegetarian option, which is kind of depressing but makes things marvellously simple. A while back, though, a friend and I went to this excellent vegetarian restaurant, and the menu was full of interesting-sounding things. That was tough . In that situation, I just make myself say something when the waiter asks, and remind myself that it really doesn't matter all that much.

I always rely on someone else when it comes to choosing something on a menu. Or if we are at a place we regularly go to I order a default item.

But....if you really like something, wouldn't you order it right away?

Story of my life .



Usually it's just a struggle and takes time to decide, but there's been times I've found my self slipping into anxiety/panic over making a simple decision while at a grocery store. There's been times I've walked out of stores because of this, or just grabbed something so I could get out of the store, only once I'm home I then to spiral into anxiety about the poor choice I made of what to eat for dinner.

Very very big problem with this. I have to tell people to look at the menu for me and choose for me, partly because restuarant menus overwhelm me, and I can never make a decision. Same with shops. Or even the simplest of decisions like what plate to choose for dinner.

Making a decision sucks.

Flip a coin instead.