Do you say what when you don't understand people

Post Reply New Topic

what i want to know is if you say what because your brain doesn't process it the 1st time

No, I usually just stare for a moment, then say, I have no idea what you mean.

I look blank for a minute then carry on with what I'm doing. If it's something I need to know I reckon they'll tell me again.

Sometimes I feel like every other thing that comes out of my mouth is "What?" Then when people are repeating themselves, sometimes I've already figured out what they said. Sometimes I say what again, and sometimes I still don't understand but just act like I did.

Nobody has ever really said anything to me about it, so I probably don't do it as much as I think I do. But I know it happens a lot in loud environments, with people you talk quietly, or when people talk to me and are not facing me or I am not facing them.

I used to say "I'm sorry" or "Pardon me" but people repeat themselves in exactly the same way. I've learned to accompany the words with the non-verbal gesture of the cupped hand to the ear, and people usually speak a little more loudly and clearly.

"What?" Is practically a reflex for me, I usually get it about half way into them repeating themselves.

I'll say something like... 'sorry, i didn't get that' or 'could you say that again?' or 'there's too much noise, I can't hear', depending on the situation.
If it's important- I've found ways of paraphrasing what I think I heard correctly and say that to them and ask them to fill in what I missed.

Edit: I should add that I don't have much contact with people... Other than my hubby, I only really speak to a couple Moms in my Moms group when we have playdates, my son's OT and his speech therpist. Sadly, for the speech therapist I've tried to get her to write things down for me, but she doesn't get that I just don't understand some of the stuff she says to me. She uses "Motherese" when talking to my son, and seems to mumble with me.

I say "I beg your pardon" in a kind of Basil Fawlty way.

Sometimes I think I may understand people if I get them to repeat what they say again.

"Say again" with the ear cupped. Most people talk a little slower and clearer, some just talk louder, and then some even say the same thing at the same speed in the same volume. Volume doesn't really help me much, so usually it takes two or three times to understand someone if they just speak louder.

Some people I can understand clearly every time, and others I can never comprehend. For the people who I can understand clearly, I can pretty much listen in to anything they're saying from 30 feet away... and the people who I can't understand, I almost get to the point where I need them to write it down (although I'd never do that, I'd just nod and hope it wasn't important).

I say “I’m sorry, I wasn’t following you. Could you repeat that?”, or sometimes “Could you repeat the question?” (even if it wasn’t one ).

Thinks. I quite often just fill in the gaps with things I know they didn't say or mean, and set off from there. E.g.

What was said: "Close that box and make a cup of coffee."
What I hear: "Chloe's that box and may hiccup of coffee."
What I say back: "Do what with the tofu? Who's Chloe? Is she ill?"

What happens next: blank stare... they haven't got a clue what I'm talking about... they're obliged to reword it all, because I've confused them enough so that they no longer can remember what they said anyway - and I get out of making coffee.

In class in the early part of high school, some people would speak in strings of pop culture nonsense phrases that were like a foreign language to me. I would ever so innocently (this was before I figured out what responses were socially semi-acceptable) respond, "What?" when I didn't understand what someone said. People would laugh and say, "Hahahaha, he said 'what', Hahahaha." I was on a different planet, and the natives were making fun of my alien accent.

Huh?

What?

I don't get it?

What was it exactly that you said?

It depends on how much I am interested or need to hear what someone else has to say. If it is some type of chit chat then I may just smile and nod. Otherwise I learned that it is just easier to admit that you have trouble hearing them. I used to get really anxious and look like an idiot I'm sure by not wanting to admit that I couldn't understand people sometimes and had processing delays.

I go; "Kweh?"