How do I deal with someone with a Narcissistic Personality?

Post Reply New Topic

There is a woman that I work with that I'm sure has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). She has told me several times that she never cries. She says that people who get there feelings hurt just need to toughen up. She seems to have zero empathy for anyone. She calls people lazy and worthless all the time. She thinks she is always right even when she is wrong. She is quick to point out others people's mistakes and denies that she ever makes any herself. I find her mistakes almost everyday. She is very loud and controls others. I'm a very laid back logical person and find the things she does very illogical. I do not lack in empathy even though it is stereotyped that people who are high functioning lack in having empathy.

I now have to take anti anxiety pills because I'm very anxious around her. I talked to my manager about her and she says we both have opposite personalities and we will most likely always find it difficult to work with each other.

If working with the person is making you ill, it is time to consider alternative employment. If it is unlikely the employer will fire her, then you've either got to put up with her behaviour or move on. There is no dealing with someone like that. I've known a couple of people with suspected Narcissistic disorder and they are impossible to deal with, work with or communicate with.

^^^ like he said. You don't deal with them. You ride the roller coaster. For people like us it can be a complete nightmare. Especially if they find out you have AS, or anything else they can pick away at. Keep to yourself as much as you can. Be an emotionless robot. Don't get emotional, or excited. AT ALL!! ! if anything effects you for any reason she can find, it will be a target for her narcissistic supply.

If she thinks hurting you will cause her problems, directly or indirectly, she will control herself. That can best happen if she gets told from above to behave and believes she should. Otherwise, she won't change, at least not enough quickly enough, so be careful not to be waiting for that.

Basically she has to believe treating you well is in her best interest.

Bullying in the workplace should be no more tolerated that in school. And people who try to hide or ignore their feelings about being bullied nearly always end failing. Something has to be done about this.

Dig a tiger pit and put a mirror on the other side, when she falls in, cover it with some sound proofing material and go home for the day.

I've been in your position of having a colleague or classmate that I couldn't stand. I don't know if this is of any help or not, but in retrospect I regret letting them get under my skin so much. I wish I had just mentally ignored them instead, and given them no thought outside of work or college. They were not worth the stress. If you can, emotionally distance yourself from this woman. She doesn't sound worth the stress either. If she's wrong and denies it, so what? It's her problem, not yours.

But if all else fails, then consider seeking alternative employment, yeah. No job is worth making yourself ill over.

How do you deal with a narcissist? You don't. You just try to placate them enough to stay off their radar and hope they find another victim.