The "real" me came out. Feel soooo stupid. ADOS 2

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Struggling with a few things after an assessment portion yesterday completing ADOS (had a 2 beside it on the front of the page that psychologist had). I'm an adult, so I don't know what module this is...4?

Thinking about yesterday, and my answers I feel combination of feeling like a complete idiot, embarrassed, and confusion over how I compare to others (what would you say?). The underlying thing like makes me feel upset is that I feel it was a true representation of who I really am but then feel stupid, so I try to appear not so stupid in normal life. I mean, I'm smart but not in the things that was in that test. It was horrible.

I went through a lot of the activities with my husband telling him about them, how I responded, provided insight about what it was like for me "effing horrible" and then proceeded to ask him objective "what do you think" or how would you answer this question....before telling him of my answer.

Puzzle thing. I asked for more pieces. Then thought they are watching me for something. Not sure what. So then I asked with a "please" at the end. I was so nervous.

Psych says I want you to tell a story from this book like a children's story ....proceeded to show me this horrible story with NO WORDS and I had to describe it and tell a story. It was one of the most uncomfortable things ever and the reason why I would drop classes in school because I can't answer on the spot and think, and tell things. I cannot role play, cannot even for pretend anything actually, no acting, no pretend interview things in classes. I immediately felt so incredible amounts of anxiety that I felt my face get super hot and flushed (which hardly ever happens anymore) .

It was the worst book EVER. Some kid dreaming stupid things like chess, birds and swans and leaves and a castle and knights. I could not think of anything because it's not something I read before. I said there is a boy sleeping, and he is dreaming...and it's night out with a full moon....next pages...he is looking somewhere and the chess pieces are now people in his dream. ...he is looking over there...I did a couple times say maybe he is scared (mouth open, weird expression). Oh, the psych said. I said maybe? And copied the expression with my FACE to see if it meant scared. WTF? I was stumbling and couldn't say anything about a freaking story. I felt so stupid I wanted to cry and shove it away and run. The room had the psych and a speech language path in there. I kept saying "I don't know" "it's weird" "um..." and just told what I saw. At one point I did say oh, the boy is protecting the dragon with a sword and shield...the other people over here are looking at him..He looks a bit concerned. I thought that was better for story? Ended with him sleeping soundly and there were chess pieces and other objects around him from the other pictures from "the dream". I felt so stupid, kept saying I hated that book, that was horrible. I think they knew I felt embarrassed and just looked around the pics to tell them what I saw for the story.

The feeling questions...frick. Horrible. I don't know? I said happy was "good" and angry"not so good". This is why I say I can't be asked anything unless I know or have some visual representation in my head or something I read to describe it....

What the heck was the toothbrush thing? I didn't get it. They said I did well. But I was like what direction is the sink. I thought you drew it backwards....I felt like an idiot.

Then had to try to give examples of things I like dislike , work, do when lonely.....Isaid gardening, doodling/art, sometimes talk to someone for short bit but not too much because I get annoyed but ....lonely...putter around and do things that I like.

Overall, I recall I teared up on one point, looked down tried to make it not obvious and she wanted to just gently move along I think she said. That was good, did not want to get upset cause then I wouldn't be able to be there and finish.

Anyone do the same types of things? I never want to do it again. So umcomfortable.

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If anyone wants to read anything (unedited, sorry) on my newish blog I would love to hear what others think about things I think about.

I'm sorry you had such a hard time of it (although I will admit to laughing at the face thing too!) I had a similar experience with the wordless picture book. Mine was about frogs that ride floating lillypads through the night, wreaking havoc on the neighbourhood (you can actually see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6Uvxjsooik). I couldn't tell a real story with it either, and just described what I saw, making my confusion at the absurdity of the story apparent. On one page, the frogs were flying very close to electrical wires, scaring birds off the poles, without touching them or getting their saline-drenched froggy bodies electrocuted, and yet a few pages later, they all proceed to careen haphazardly into bedsheets hanging out to dry. How did they have the dexterity to avoid the power lines, but not the gigantic bedsheets? There was also a point at which they were floating down somebody's chimney, but not one of them had even the slightest hint of soot on it. Not to mention that flying around all night in the cold night air would dry the amphibians out and severely dehydrate if not kill them. I spent half the story looking for explanations for the things that made zero sense.

I just watched that video StarTrekker and it was a bit weird. I thought it was scary when they got to the wires. And I thought about how I would be scared if I saw a bunch of frogs flying outside my window. My first thought was how do they get the lily pads to fly and how did they not fall off when they turned over? And how did the remote not stick to his tongue. I was wondering why they needed an ambulance and police to look at lily pads and why there were pigs flying at the end.

Is this the video you described?

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e8MxrPaa9c[/youtube]

I couldn't think up a story for it either. It's a weird video. I got that a kid fell asleep and dreamed of stuff. But, what was I supposed to do with it?

The one with frogs, I understood less. I wasn't sure what was going on. I knew that frogs were flying, but it didn't make sense to me.

I would not be able to tell a story to save my life, either. Even with a picture book. I had no idea that was part of the diagnostic testing.

I would have been stressed, nervous, and looking dumb myself. But, you did well, OP. The point was to give the psych and speech therapist the information they needed to make a proper assessment. You did that.

haha happy I gave someone a laugh
6Anyone know what the toothbrushing thing was?

And I realize now after much research...lol.....that they might be looking for repetitive stuff. I dont' think I did much. Except she gave me a pen in the beginning and I said "Ooh I love pens" but now come to think of it I'm not sure why she gave me the pen. I don't think I had to use it. I held it the entire time clicking the top, and looking at the 6 little black line things on the side haha. I kept catching myself clicking and then would try to stop. And then look at the gray clock while trying to describe something.

I'm absolutely amazed at seeing other people's experience on here around the same test. All the answers are pretty much the same lol.

Now, here is that creepy book that I will hate for the rest of my life.

Free Fall (kids book in ados 2)

Watching that video, I didn't understand the book at all either; it was so random and disjointed; I kept trying to come up with a storyline for it, but every time I came up with an idea, it changed to something entirely different and I couldn't work out how the individual scenes were supposed to form any kind of coherent story.

I think the tooth brushing thing might have been a test of imagination and ability to act on abstract, non-concrete ideas (ie invisible sink). I'll have to do some more research on that though. I had to do it too, and thought it was kind of weird.