Fundamental difference between Neurotypicals and AS people

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I believe I have discovered the "fundamental difference" between Neurotypicals and those of us with AS (Asperger's Syndrome).

Both Neurotypicals and AS people are driven by the desire to survive. But they use different social strategies to obtain this.

The point of departure for a neurotypical is that he is alive, hence fearful. Thus, what directly motivates a neurotypical to survive is his fear of death. Neurotypicals naturally look at death (to the degree they dare to do this! Those who look the most at death are those most in charge). His fear of death forces him to join a social group. This comforts him because he then believes he will survive due to his group-membership. What matters to him is a well-functioning group and being accepted by it, i.e. social status. Even if this means he has to take the omega-position in this group and put up with a lot of possible bullying and tormentors!

NT's think: "I am alive and fear death, but I feel great anyway because I have my group, we can do anything together."


The point of departure for a person with AS is that he is dead, hence fearless (i.e. lack empathy). Thus, what directly motivates a person with AS to survive is his desire to dominate death/being a God. AS people naturally look at opportunities at becoming or maintaining being a God. Being a God means conquering and dominating nature itself, i.e. being "bigger" than death itself. His desire to be a God forces him to take full charge of his own life. This comforts him because he then believes he will survive due to this extreme and complete dictator-like leadership. What matters to him is an intact and secured territory that belongs to him exclusively, i.e. full independence. Even if this means he is all alone with noone to help him!

AS people think: "Fundamentally I am dead, but I can experience that I am alive, hence I must be greater than death, i.e. a God. A God can do anything, hence so can I."

That is my personal view upon matters.

I appreciate that your views are personal, but they don't describe me at all. I've always had a fear of death and was never able to come to terms with people around me dying when I was growing up.
This hasn't prevented me doing things that may have killed me at the time. For instance, when I was five years old, I was playing ball near a busy road and the ball strayed onto the road. I ran onto the road to retrieve the ball and got hit by a car. Fortunately I bounced off the hood of the car and landed on my backside on the side of the road. I was lucky not to be killed. I didn't run onto the road because I thought I was indestructible and couldn't die. My actions were because my entire focus was on retrieving the ball and I wasn't going to wait until the traffic on the road was going to clear before I got my ball back.

How do you reconcile "I am dead" with all that walking around, breathing, and converting food into fuel for your body?

Okay I was fine up until the fearless dead God autistic part. Then you lost me.

And I think NTs also try to control their environments.

i don't see how fear of death and being social have anything to relate to one another psychologically. i think we all have a desire to be accepted by other people regardless of our neurological differences or approach to life.

personally, i don't think about death. it's going to happen one day, hopefully i'll be old. i do the best i can to live a fulfilling life despite knowing this, as i assume most people do as well. i don't understand your philosophy though.

It seems to me that you are massively overthinking this.

There are elements of truth in your ideas about the fear of death and this has been much speculated about in various schools of psychology and philosophy, but to ID that as a "fundamental difference" between AS and neurotypical thinking is overdoing it and in many ways wrong (e.g., many NT systems express a desire to be like gods, etc.)

The essential difference between NTs and autistic people is pretty much what is described in the diagnostic criteria: NTs have a facility for social communication that autistic people do not have, or have at some lower level than is typical. Autistic people often have sensory issues that are more intense than those typically experienced by NTs. Autistic people are more likely to have repetitive patterns of motion and thought than typical people.

It seems to me that the communication thing is the big one. It's not that autistic people are reacting to fear of death one way and NTs another, but that NTs are having a conversation in a language that we don't understand, so we are not part of that conversation.

I once shared a subway car with a large group of deaf people. They were having a very animated conversation and suddenly all began laughing uproariously. I was one of the few non-signing people in that subway car and as everyone began howling with laughter I looked around and saw a few other people not in on the joke, like me. This is pretty much the normal situation for people with autism, I think. we understand what people are saying on one level, but not another.

I think that "not being part of the conversation" part is a sufficient explanation for the main difference between neurotypical and autistic.

While I am certain that no deliberate offence or harm was intended by this personal line of reasoning, I think it is exactly this kind of 'Autistic people are all on a journey to being a god' that make many NT view us as arrogant. Personally, I try to stay grounded in the less grandiose and less exciting possibility that I have a different neurological structure, one that causes some fundamental weaknesses and also a couple of strengths.

I think I might be able to gleam the underlying ideas that the OP is starting off from and, sure, we are not always focusing on the same life objectives as the NT population - We might be less social-focused and more knowledge-driven for example. I can't honestly equate these differences to being alive vs. dead. I have difficulty sensing my emotions sometimes and I can have very insular down days but I am certainly not feeling very dead when obsessively researching my interests.

If the OP feels dead in any real sense, rather than metaphorically, it could be that they would get some benefit from reading up on something called alexithymia as this could possibly help somewhat.

Si

I have to agree with the above poster. I have no desire to be god or to be in control of life/ earth. I have a certain amount of time on earth until my body can no longer sustain my life. Then I die. That's the end. No, I am not afraid of death (because I am not convinced that there is anything after this) but I also don't lack empathy because of this fearlessness of death. I know that life is a crapshoot and that many individuals have it very bad here. I understand that and feel for them. I think your hypothesis is way off for me (and many of the above posters). Maybe it is applicable to you.

There's some interesting parts in what you say, particularly concerning NTs. Some of the other stuff I am not really understanding.

But I wonder if there is really one definative difference? Is there really one clean place to slice it?

Maybe humanity (NT, AS, etc) is not like a quart of Neapolitan Ice Cream, with clear divisions between Vanilla and Chocolate and Strawberry. Maybe its more like a Fudge Swirl.

I also think the idea that ASD people in general lack empathy isn't true. It varies, as it does in the NT population, and some have loads. But we don't always express it in the same way that NTs do or recognize.

[But if it is like Neapolitan, then the trick is to be like the Strawberry and eaten last.]

I don't know what you're on about cause that is certainly not how I feel and I have AS.....I don't care about being bigger than death, and don't particularly want death, I do not think I am any less afraid of it than neurotypicals I do not think most people on the spectrum actually lack empathy and are entirely fearless. I also have no real desire to be a 'god' and full independence even if it meant all alone with no one to help does not sound appealing at all....'full independence' is over-rated anyways and not sure most humans are even capable of that. I think all that is your personal view on the matter not a representation of how the vast majority of autistic people think, but that is just my view on the matter.